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Parenting

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Original poster

Dummy - have I discovered a miracle or am I "creating a rod for my own back"?

31 replies

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 19:58

Ds is 6 weeks old in 2 days, bfing is going well gaining weight etc.

His nighttime sleeping is very good but will go hrs and hrs of screaming from overtiredness as he will only sleep of held - not sleeping in pram unless walked t a certain speed amd outside and will on,y nap for 20 mins intbe carrier.

Toddler is 2 and from 4pm ds will scream hysterically until 9pm when he finally settles for end. Toddler usually screams from 6-7pm because she's ready for bed and has been hearing screams all day.

I am on the brink of pnd and fee.ungvery very low, constant screams after screams for hrs one nd...out of desperation I I gave ds a dummy and miraculously he settled while I did his sisters bedtime in calm quiet!

He was bf just before.

My sorry is ppl keep saying to me I am creating a rod for my own back S he will rely on the dummy and interfere with feeding.

Is it realistic to only use a dummy from 5pmwhen its the toddlers dinner and bedtime routine, thr when she's settled at 7pm,take the dummy away and change nappy, bf etc - ds's usual bedtime routine - no dummy.

I am desperate but do t want to mess up his nighttime sleep.

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thanksamillion · 03/10/2013 20:01

I bf all of mine and 2 out of 3 had dummies. The other one was a thumb sucker from early on. Originally I had quite restrictive times on using it but it is a bit of a slippery slope.

It sounds like you need to take all the help you can get and if that's a dummy then I'd go for it.

stowsettler · 03/10/2013 20:02

IME yes it's totally possible to use a dummy at certain times. DD is now 7 mo and only has one at sleep time. Congrats on your baby :-)

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 20:02

Awfully written - sorry!

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bundaberg · 03/10/2013 20:02

this sounds like the perfect time to use a dummy!!!

2 out of my 3 have had dummies and haven't had an issue giving them up, even though ds2 was a real dummy-lover and wanted his almost constantly.

cantthinkofagoodone · 03/10/2013 20:03

At 6 weeks old? Go for it.

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 20:06

Thank you all! Will it end up backfiring go me and causing me more problems in the long run?

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ScrewsFallOutAllTheTime · 03/10/2013 20:13

Use it if works- save your sanity! I used one for one dd, was a lifesaver. It did become irritating at about 18 months so we gave it up, wrapped them in paper and gave them to a friends new baby as she 'needed them'
Worked a treat.
Since then I've read articles that you can use them even for a short while (ie a few weeks) until things settle.

Phineyj · 03/10/2013 20:14

I think they are great, although in my limited experience DC either love them or hate them - however, even though DD loves hers (she's 9 months) if she's busy she's not bothered about having one, but really looks for it when she's tired or upset. We have one of those Sleepytot things and dummy loss at night hasn't been an issue since we got it.

Some people do seem to have a slightly irrational hatred of them.

Phineyj · 03/10/2013 20:15

That is a great tip screws!

RawCoconutMacaroon · 03/10/2013 20:24

IME of 4 Ds, dummy use will not interfere with bf and some babies will use them and others won't - 2 of ours had them until well into toddlerhood, one moved onto thumb sucking at a few weeks old and the 4th refused a dummy and doesn't thumbsuck either.

True, you may get a few judgy pants looks if your DC is out with a dummy in (shock horror) public, but really, who cares!

RandallPinkFloyd · 03/10/2013 20:29

When my DS was 6wo my only rule was 'whatever gets you through the day'!

Ignore all talk of rods and backs and any other gumph that 'people' tell you, and just do whatever works for you.

DS loved his dummy, absolutely loved it. As soon as he could manage to put it in and out himself I clipped one to his 'baby' so he could always find it himself during the night. It worked a treat. He had it for daytime sleeps too.

By 18 months he was less and less bothered. A few weeks ago he got a cold so couldn't suck it anyway, I took the opportunity to hide them all and he hasn't asked for them once.

To coin my Nanna's favourite phrase "if it gives them a bit of comfort then what's the harm?"

I hate the dummy police

Radiator1234 · 03/10/2013 20:36

I really wouldn't worry about it. You can take it away whenever you want!

impatienttobemummy · 03/10/2013 20:39

I tried one with DS1 when he would never take it... I was gutted! If it works... Do it! How it makes a rod for your back I don't know! You need it now worry about later.... Later!

trixymalixy · 03/10/2013 20:43

Before I had kids I used to think dummies were the devil's work. The reality was that they were a major lifesaver for me. I was gutted when DD stopped taking hers of her own accord! DS gave his up quite late on, but it was sooo much easier than I thought it would be.

It didn't interfere with breast feeding for me.

casper11 · 03/10/2013 20:46

I totally know how you feel. I was adamant that I wasn't going to use a dummy with dd2. First child never needed one. Both bf really well. But after 6 wks of daytime not sleeping( nighttime she was fine). I succumbed. Anything to get some peace and get on with making the tea. She only needed it for about a month and then wouldn't take it after that. So please don't worry. Use whatever you need to get through the day. Life with children no matter how lovely is so incredibly tough. You will do the right thing for your family.

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 20:57

Thank you all, tonight has been so peaceful, it's been breaking my heart and sanity seeing them no on hysterics, esp ds - he's so little and can't physically cuddle him ever min of the day, I have t run after toddler, make her dinner etc, and seeing him with the dummy looking so content and calm really gave me a boost.

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roweeena · 03/10/2013 21:01

My DS had a dummy for 3weeks from 6-9weeks, then spat it out and never had it again

sittinginthesun · 03/10/2013 21:03

Glad you have had a better day. My ds2 was exactly the same. He was six weeks, very unsettled, feeding then pulling off any shouting at me. My friend was over for a coffee, too one look, nipped home and came back with a pack of dummies.

The look on ds2's face - he sucked it, realised he wasn't going to get a mouth full of milk, gave the most contented sigh, visibly relaxed and fell asleep.

One of my favourite memories.

BornToFolk · 03/10/2013 21:04

Do it. I was vehemently anti-dummy before I had DS but cracked when he was 4 weeks old and had been screaming for hours. It was like magic, he went to sleep instantly.

After that, he only ever had it for sleep time and it became an important sleep cue. It was also great for re-settling him if he woke in the night. Or if we wanted him to sleep in the car etc. He gave it up when he was about 3. We did the whole Dummy Fairy thing and it was no bother at all. I don't think he ever even asked for it again. Friends' children have used them too and all of them have given them up at around 2-3 with no major issues.

I do think they can cause problems if over-used, ie. when an older child constantly has one and it interferes with speech but for babies, especially one as tiny as yours they can be a life-saver!

SHarri13 · 03/10/2013 23:13

If they'll take on give it, my third wouldn't and it's been harder to do anything.

mrsmartin1984 · 04/10/2013 00:00

If BFing is established then find go for it. They won't use it forever

mumofboyo · 04/10/2013 08:06

We were advised to use a dummy for dd due to her reflux, and it did help her settle and sleep for long periods of time. At 6 months she slept without it and hasn't had it since.
If it helps, it helps. Why wouldn't you use something that makes your life easier? Imo it's better than the thumb because at least you can take it away.

ZiaMaria · 04/10/2013 08:16

Do whatever it takes to stay sane. Your LO might only wan a dummy for a few weeks, or you may have to explain when he is about 2 that the dummy fairy comes at Christmas and leaves a present in exchange for a dummy. It doesn't matter which way it goes - you will have a peaceful house and your sanity. Go for it.

ThisIsMeNow · 04/10/2013 08:24

I'm ire I've read something that says the can help prevent SIDS?
I'm also of the school of thought that whatever gets you through just do it.
I do not want my dc sucking their thumbs as I may know someone who still sucks theirs in their 30's
not me at all, no not at all

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt · 04/10/2013 08:29

I hated dummies before having DD, but we discovered she was a really sucky baby - she was screaming and we thought she was hungry but then we'd feed we an she'd be sick. We tried a dummy at 2 weeks and never looked back.

I believe they're recommended as a way of helping prevent SIDS nowadays.

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