help me please :, (

[Kayshields]

My two week old baby is breastfed and for the past four days feeds constantly.. im not joking I haven't fallen asleep in three nights and im exausted, she empties one breast then moves to the other and by the time she's finished she's straight back onto the other one.. she cries all night and probably sleeps for about an hours max in the daytime between feeds.. I cant cope.. I know im feeding her right because I've asked breastfeeding support and the midwives and they've both checked us over and said were doing great, she is definitely feeding when attached and the midwife said she must be going through a growth spurt but seriously?! Four days.. im seriously considering switching to formula

Poor you my dd is ff as bf didn't work out it will get easier but till then try a bottle with ebm or fm and get some1 to feed while you sleep cos bm is best but a stressed out mum isn't so good do more harm if you ask me and also have you tried a dummy never used one myself but might help you . Good luck

Growth spurt. It's hard and incredibly binding but it's your baby's way of increasing your milk production. Consider it your welcome break - get a couple of DVD boxed sets, a flask of something to drink (hot or cold) and set yourself up on the sofa. It does pass, even though it feels like it won't at the time!

And congratulations on your new baby :)

Congratulations on your baby And on successfully establishing breastfeeding too :) It does get easier, much easier, I promise.

Did you know that midwives aren't necessarily breastfeeding experts, and it sounds like you need support from experts right now. Who did you see for breastfeeding support?

La Leche League are a great place to start for breastfeeding help. They have a helpline which is open in the evenings as well as daytime. www.laleche.org.uk/

Where is your baby sleeping btw? And are you feeding her sitting up or lying down? I wonder if co-sleeping, or using a three sided cot might help?

We've got a three sided cot, it comes up to the side of the bed. I found it a great help, as I don't need to actually get up to feed her, I just slide her over from her cot, and then slide her back in again. Sometimes we fall asleep together in the bed and that's fine (are you aware of the co-sleeping guidelines ?)

We got a 3 sided cot form German Amazon for about £100, I can link to it if you like?

If you want to breastfeed then do not under any circumstances top up with formula at this important time. And do not use a dummy either. zoesmum that's terrible advice. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

Sounds like a growth spurt and a feeding frenzy. Your DD is trying to boost your supply. And is feeding round the clock to do so. Topping up will prevent this happening. I know it's really hard. The first 3 weeks are the hardest. It does get allot easier after 6 weeks. Believe me. You are doing great.

I second what has been said about co sleeping. It is something you could consider to get over this difficult hurdle. I found that once I did then I slept allot better. That and a sling to keep your baby too you and you can breastfeed in it (also could do skin on skin contact which calms babies).

Yes what has been said before about midwives not necessarily being experts is true. Some specialise and are very good. But in order to become a midwife it is shocking how little training in breast feeding is required. See what breastfeeding support there is in your area.

Also take care of yourself. Make sure you are drinking enough water. I know having a newborn is a shock to the system

OP, I'm sorry you're having a terrible time of it right now. If you can hang in there, it will get better, and then you'll find BF is actually much easier than FF (no bottles to wash and sterilise), as well as being better for your baby.

HOWEVER... if what you're really asking for is permission to FF, then go ahead. I BFed all mine for over a year, but have known many friends and relatives who FF and you know what... years later their DC are every bit as clever and healthy as mine! Amazing, eh? You do what's best for both of you.

If what you need is a bit of sleep (of course that's what you need!) can you get DP or a relative or friend to take the baby out for a buggy ride or something? So you can sleeeeeeep.

Good luck!!!

Poor you, we had this experience and it was so hard, and not made any easier by the books and friends who kept telling us about sleepy newborns and 'waking up to feed'. Ha!

IF you really want to give breastfeeding a shot (and you don't need to!), I agree that now is really not a good time to try formula and a dummy.

It sounds like you are doing a great job but need more support at this difficult time. Do you have a partner or relative who can tend to absolute everything except loo breaks and bfing while you lie on the bed and feed and doze with your baby? We also found that it was helpful that the moment the baby fell asleep (whatever time of day), I would get DH or mum to take him and try to put him to sleep in the other room or even just rock him while crying for an hour while I slept. 'Sleep while baby sleeps' can be an annoying phrase as it's easier said than done, but it is the key for the first few weeks

Cosleeping was also a lifesaver for us, though it's not for everyone. Do you at least have a bassinet right next to your bed? If so, can you feed her swaddled and put her down right away?

Hang on in there, whatever path you choose, and it really does get easier at week 3, then easier again at week 6-8 and much easier at 3 months!

I'd second getting else to check your feed as midwives and health visitors can miss things like tongue tie it silent reflux.

If your baby is constantly on you day and night for 4 days it sounds like you're being used as a dummy and it won't be constant feeding as much as nibbling.

Are you getting lots if wet nappies, and appropriate weight gain?

Check out a breastfeeding specialist, I've just had tongue tie undiagnosed in my 12 week old and it was in a breastfeeding group it got diagnosed.

If its nothing to do with your milk supply (which after 4 days I suspect) then formula feeding may make no difference!

My ds was exactly the same! Some nights I literally didn't sleep. He's now 5 1/2 months & bf is so easy; 10 minutes & he's done.

She's trying to establish your milk supply & if you supplement with formula you interfere with that; risking a less than plentiful supply in the future. (although if you decide you want to give up bf & ff instead that's fine, don't feel guilty)

You just have to toughen it out & I promise it passes & gets so much easier.

Geting pnd cos of ebf DOES mean I know what am talking about

breastfeeding does not cause PND. That's a terrible thing to say

Being very tired is probably not going to help you feel in control, I agree. Dd would feed for 2 hour stretches, the dr I saw who specialized in lactation (was in USA) said take her off after 20 mins each side because that's not feeding after that. Give DH or anyone you can rope in to help the baby for at least an hour and a half and rest. What's your support network like? There's no need for the baby to feed like that at the expense of any sleep for you.

All the stress and sleepless nights that gos with it does it was a dark time when I ebm I felt better my dh fed while I was sleeping. So I got better yes breast Is better no denying it but not if its makeing you really low and I've known lots of mums that give the odd bottle and been fine. In the words of my mw breastfeeding is not all that I didn't do it

I've 3 young DC and I managed to BF them all but did struggle at times. Zoesmum I think you have a point that is worth considering: no-one can be the mother they want to be if they are sleep deprived. Therefore, if you need to get some rest then really, I don't think one bottle will hurt.

My advice:

1. Get checked for tongue tie. (2 out of my 3 had one) and absolutely insist on getting it cut NOW. (From experience, if you make enough fuss it will get done).
2. get some sleep (see above re bottle).
3. a baby will not be feeding for that amount of time. You are being used as a dummy. When you take your baby off the boob, expect cries and soothe the best way you see fit.
4. trust your instincts. You might be new to this but you will be right and you will do the right thing whether you think it at the time or not.
5. don't give up just yet - but do you know what, if unsuccessful BF is making you sad, tired, frustrated and means you're not enjoying being a mummy then go to bottle. And who cares what others think. All that's important is you, your baby and the bond you're developing.

Keep smiling :)

a bottle won't hurt, but not when you are establishing breast feeding. There are ways to support mothers through this difficult time. Introducing bottles and dummies at this time is detrimental.

Being sleep deprived and PND are two difference things.

not

I used a bottle of EBM from week 1 with DC1. He went on to bf just fine for over a year.

Overall though op, I'd like to hear about whether anyone's taking the baby for you for a bit. Dh used to take dd in between feeds at this stage especially late at night and pace with her in baby carrier. Ff/ebf whatever, I think this is a lot about support for you too.

Congratulations on your new baby! I went through a similar thing and its so so tough. Really feel for you. Are you eating and drinking enough? Make sure you eat a lot of high energy foods to keep your strength up. Can you get someone to take baby out in the pram for a bit so maybe you (and baby) could get some sleep?
I would say don't bother trying to express at this stage. You probably aren't going to get chance to express between feeds anyway, and it just adds to the stress if you don't get very much milk.
I know this might sound a bit stupid, but my MW told me that bf babies don't get wind. So for the first fee days I didn't bother trying to wind DS when swapping sides etc. it was only when I did start to bring his wind up that he fed/settled better (surprise surprise!)
It will get easier if you can get over this first hurdle, but don't feel bad if you switch to formula. I know bottles/supply has already been discussed, but if someone else can give maybe just one bottle per day while you have a sleep, that might make the difference between sticking with bfing or not. Missing one feed is unlikely to have an effect upon supply esp during the daytime. Cutting out a night feed and replacing with formula however may affect supply (Apparently milk production is better at night.)

No advice as I ff but poor you :( If you feel you need to ff to get a break just do it, it's not the evil thing it's made out to be DS is thriving on it and your child needs a mother who can function.

Proper pnd with proper treatment mrs martian 1984

Proper pnd with proper treatment mrs martian 1984

Mothers who bf have lower incidence of pnd than mothers who don't.

Kay you may find it useful to move this thread to the breast and bottle feeding area. Report your initial post and ask mnhq if you want to move it.

The kellymom.com website has lots of evidence-based info that may be useful.

it does sound like your baby is having a growth spurt and as I recall they usually last a few days, but in the early weeks it can seem relentless. Anyway, it may be worth getting the latch checked by someone who knows what they're doing. Maybe your hv can tell you about local support, or try a helpline e.g. la leche league.

Poor you OP. I had a similar experience with DD (now 6 months) - she had some weeks of intense cluster feeding (4-6 hrs non-stop) in the evenings in the first few weeks. It felt interminable and I thought I would just collapse with the exhaustion but previous posters are right - things massively improved at around 6 weeks and by 12 weeks I couldn't believe I had ever found it difficult. It WILL get easier.

Things I found helpful: BFing helplines (NCT, La Leche League, NHS, I used them all - really helped me to offload and to reassure myself that I was doing everything right), BFing support groups (there will be one in your local area, check your discharge info) and the KellyMom website is excellent.

I think the most helpful thing was something I really didn't want to do - I had really awful ulcers on my nipples to the extent that by week 2 I couldn't feed from one side without crying, so I started expressing from that side whilst continuing to BF on the other. DH then did one of the night feeds using the expressed milk. We did this for a good couple of months and it let me have a much-needed 3-4 hour rest at night, which was amazing. Expressing is a chore but it might be worth trying to express from one side whilst feeding on the other - best in the early hours of the morning. Your baby can get more milk than the pump so even if she needs to feed from the side you've pumped from, she'll still get something (although she'll have to work harder for it, which might annoy her). I feel like a cow when I do this but for me it had the triple benefit of giving me a break, increasing my supply, and ensuring that DD will take milk from a bottle (she never had nipple confusion, and she is the only one of my antenatal group babies who are all EBF who will accept a bottle!)

And if you want to stop BFing althogether, just do it and don't feel as though you have to explain yourself to anyone. Most FF mothers I meet feel as though they have to justify why they couldn't/didn't BF, but I really believe you have to do what is right for you and your baby and sod anyone who is impolite enough to show you that they disapprove! Hope things improve for you soon whatever you decide.