What would you have done?

[Angeliz]

Hello all
DD had her first trip to the theatre today. We took her to see Bill and Ben and Andy Pandy. It was a great success and dd loved Andy Pandy and got a big wave at the end+
Then comes the sad bit for me! On the way out parents and toddlers were everywhere. I spotted a boy about the same age as dd (nearly 3)who was in a argument with his dad,(presumably), about a coat and not putting it on. The man then smacked the boys bottom quite hard. I looked at dp and grimaced and we walked on, then he did it again! As we were in the herd of people walking down the stairs i heard it again twice! It sounded like the boy had a nappy on if you see what i mean, dull rather than a slap! DP said "should i go and say something?" but the mood the guy was in i thought it would make him worse and the little boy would get the brunt of it when we left!
So.....We did nothing! I had tears in my eyes and it spoilt the magic,(though i kept it up for dd). I feel AWFUL for not doing anything! I don't agree with smacking but a tap on the hand and i wouldn't have noticed but 4 smacks on a little boys bottom and the humiliation of it too!
Just feel very sad about it!
( Should i have intervened? Would you have?)

I have to say I do agree with Bekki's point that this country is very anti children. People seem to expect children to be perfectly behaved all the time. Yet society isn't geared up for the needs of children or parents. DOn't know what the answer is though.

My comment was throw away and it wasn't focused on anyone in particluar (Zebra has that effect on me) just those who never admit to having any problems parenting. The fact of the matter is I don't believe it.

Why would I want anyone to intervene if someone hit me? Surely the hit would be over and I would want to leave and sort out my problems not be jumped on by a do gooder as I try to run out.

Just because a few good natured people can accept childrens behaviour that doesn't mean it going to stop every other person negatively interfering.
Yesterday I was in a cafe with ds2 5 months, he was hungry and started to cry very quietly. 3 people turned and stared as if to say you are ruining my dinner! I continued and put ds2 to the breast and looked up to find even more people staring and tutting! What do they want?!

This is all getting a bit o/t now. But can I just say before I leave this thread with bad parent/abusive husband/bad kids on my name that my dh is wonderful! Since ds1 has started assesment for possible learning difficulties dh has been has been the best parent imaginable. Once he received treatment for depression he was back to the person I married and our lives are better than ever. Dh is a father that my kids can be proud of. And I have a husband to be proud of to.

Bekki, I agree with you that a lot is expected of our children in terms of behaviour, and of us as parents. I try to find a middle-ground. I avoid certain situations with my toddler, but also ignore the stares I get if my DS has a tantrum in a supermarket. If people don't like it, they can order online!

I'm glad things are going well for you and ypur family Bekki. I'm intrigued by your take on not wanting help if you or your child were assaulted in a public place and if my comments have upset you, sorry. TBH the people i work with who have been hit or hit out tend not to be in a position to deal with their problems on their own and this "do gooder" has no problem with offering support, and sometimes that just means checking they don't need medical attention and are in a fit state to get home.

Bekki,

I can 'relate' to a lot of what you are saying

message withdrawn