What age were your kids when they went to nursery?

[nightowlmostly]

I'm feeling confused about this at the moment. My first DS is 16 months old so we haven't put him into nursery yet. My DH is a SAHP so there's no need to from a purely childcare point if view.

I had just assumed that we would send him to preschool at 3, when we qualify for the free hours. Is this what most people do? I mentioned it to a colleague the other day, who proceeded to give me a pretty hard time about it, saying "that's the absolute worst thing you could do"!! She reckons its really good for them to go earlier, her daughter went at 18 months and she says she thrives. But they have childcare issues, which is why she went in the first place, so part of me thinks maybe she is so positive about it because they had no option iyswim?

I try to ignore people's opinions for the most part, and do what I think is best, but it's hard sometimes. She seems to have made me doubt myself, she even said "I'm not trying to say you're a bad parent but..."

I did always say that I'd play it by ear and wait and see how he is, if he seems to be getting bored and I think he would benefit then I'll consider sending him. I'm just not sure now what to do for the best!

The woman's talking nonsense, just trying to justify her own decision... not that it needed justifying. There's nothing wrong with sending a child to nursery at 3! What could possibly be wrong about that?

I meant to say, I've tried looking online about the benefits of nursery for younger kids, but it all seems to be about the difference between kids who went full time vs not going at all, very little info about the benefits of going that little bit younger.

DD1 was 10 months as I returned to work. By the time DS came along I was using a childminder, he went to preschool at 2.5 and I paid for 2 terms before he got funding, but I was on maternity leave with DD2 so I didn't need him to be in childcare. I think preschool does do them good, but I wouldn't feel pressured if you don't feel your child is ready. Our preschool will take them from their second birthday, but not many start that young - it is becoming more common though.

16 months and 12 months. The DC who started at 12 months found it much easier, don't know if that was down to age or personality though! They only went for 2 sessions per week and we increased the time when the funding kicked in.

I think the only children who really struggle are those who don't go to any sort of toddler groups/playgroups/the park with friends. If they spend all their time with adults and maybe one sibling or friend at a time, they are going to find it pretty tough to suddenly be surrounded by twenty noisy 3-year-olds.

I think she thinks that the earlier the better, she says her daughter came on a lot because of it. But that could have been her developing normally, surely? How much can be attributed to the nursery and how much just age I don't know. I just thought it'd be nice for him to be home with us until he's 3, he's going to be at school for a lot of years after that. But maybe he'd do better if he was in that setting a little earlier? It's so hard to know what to do for the best!

I'm at work so might not be back for a while, thanks for taking the time to reply.

Mine went when they got the free hours, so 3y2m, 3y2m and 3y9m. But that was in Scotland and they had, in total 7, 7 and 3 terms.

Mine went at 13 months when I returned to work. She's OK but if I'd had other childcare available (esp if it had been DH), I'd have waited until 3. DD is 2.7 now and I can see that by 3 she'd be "ready". Go with your instinct.

Put my 2 in for 2 days a week when funding kicked in at 3. Didn't need to for childcare issues but as are youngest in year (started reception today) we thought would help them and it really has. Despite being youngest they are more than ready but I also don't think hindered them in any way by not doing it sooner. Agree it merely sounds like her trying to justify her decision/need to do it

Dd went to playgroup at 2.6 years and school nursery at 3.6 years while ds went to nursery at 3.

My health visitor says wait till they're 3 if you don't need it for the childcare. Apparently a lot of studies showing that age 2 is too young to be away from primary carer all day.

Of course people who have no choice justify it to themselves that sending them at 2 is best but from what I've been told it isn't.

Mine went from 2.5. Partly from a childcare perspective but also it felt like he was ready. Our world had been pretty small and I felt he'd benefit from being around the other children.

I chose a small, nurturing nursery in a converted house and he has really blossomed there.

''The two biggest longitudinal studies in the world on the impact of childcare on infants have come to strikingly similar conclusions. In America, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) published conclusions last summer that were remarkably similar to those of the UK study, the Effective Provision of Pre-school Education (EPPE). Both make for uncomfortable reading. The NICHD, which has been following more than 1,000 children since 1991, concluded that, "The more time children spend in childcare from birth to age four-and-a-half, the more adults tended to rate them as less likely to get along with others, as more assertive, as disobedient and as aggressive. It also found that group care is more punitive than other forms of childcare. The EPPE study focused predominantly on the impact of pre-school education on three- and four-year-olds. It concluded that it was of great benefit for cognitive and social skills, but buried in the small print it acknowledged that "high levels of group care before the age of three (and particularly before the age of two) were associated with higher levels of anti-social behaviour at age three" (interestingly, it can improve infants cognitive skills). But the EPPE study acknowledged that while high-quality group care could reduce the level of "anti-social/worried behaviour", it could not eliminate it.'

Article www.theguardian.com/education/2004/jul/08/schools.uk

I'm not trying to say you're a bad parent, but...
It's the absolute worst thing you could do
Stay home with your own child?? .

Maybe in her case it would be... She sounds like a bloody loon.

Around 10 months. I am probably going to keep him in the lovely private nursery until he has to go to school as all the picking up and dropping off is going to be a nightmare when I am in work so the longer I can keep him there the better. He's three in December and really enjoys nursery. I don't get 'free hours' anyway as it's a bit rubbish in Cardiff.

I think you just need to do what you think is best for your own situation and ignore people saying one thing is better than the other. You definitely don't want to get yourself into a situation where you are the one going about telling people that they are damaging their children by doing one thing and not the other. People who do that generally end up sounding like complete knobs.

ds went 2 1/4 to a 2 hr pre school session twice a week then more when funding came in ... it was great for him and nice for me to have a couple of free hours too- we had always gone to the playgroup next door and it seemed a natural move - he loved loved loved it and if we ever see any of the staff he always goes to say hello - esp the play leader he adored - as an only pfb it was good for him to have company/different ways of doing things and independence- he also made friends he still has now (8) but do what suits your family

I didn't think there was much benefit before 3 if the child is in a caring environment at home andgoing to toddler groups etc.

I have the two year old funding for my currently 20month old and am thinking about a childminder rather than nursery. The pre school we use now takes 2 year olds (there's an increase in funded 2year old places) but I can't see its an ideal set up before 3.

...and you definitely don't want to get involved in long internet discussions where people start posting links to studies to prove that they haven't damaged their kids but other people have.

Honestly you don't. Those kind of threads tend to be full of knobs.

Childcare is such a mine-filed, obviously kids are influenced by an awful lot more than the childcare they have. For example their parents could be horribly abusive knob-heads, or something. They might be calling them 'little shits' or doing a hundred other destructive things to their children while they are at home. other kids might benefit hugely from being in childcare.

Honestly - get out of the debate while you can.

I am not too late am I?

Ah shit.

I think I am too late

When funding kicked in for us! that was 3yrs 3months. We had free Granny childcare (and still do) so why pay when you don't have to?

He took a week or two to settle but he loves it now!

She sounds like she's trying to re-assure herself here. Nothing wrong with nursery if you can afford it and you need it any earlier, but just ignore her.

woah woah duelingfanjo before you get all "these people are knobs" I don't have a child in nursery, my son is still a baby, no decisions have been made for his future nursery career. I don't give a flying shit if people put their kid in nursery or not. Ours will probably have to start aged 2.

OP has just been told shes a terrible parent for not putting her son in nursery. I don't think that giving her some ammo to put her conscience at ease or tell to this crazy cow is the end of the world... jesus

"Of course people who have no choice justify it to themselves that sending them at 2 is best "

see....

knob-head thing to say.

Listen OP, ignore your stupid friend. Play it by ear and you will find a way that is best for you.

DD1 2 and 9 months (that was the min age for preschool and, back then they had to be toilet trained, which was a very close run thing). Preschool increases mornings 3,4,5 as DC get older, government start paying.

DD2, one full day a week from 18months, then 2, 3 and finally for a couple if months 4 mornings at pre school from the same age as DD1.

Preschool weren't particularly impressed that I refused to send either DD on Fridays until the very last preparing for school sessions and that DD2 kept her Wed, all day nursery session.

I'm a SAHM, Fridays we went to toddlers and I had coffee and caught up with the village gossip. (I don't live in the village and it's the sort of place where it really helps to know what is going on. I did PTA for years for the same reason. Oh and it's nice to see other adults and chatter too!)

DD2's day at nursery started so I got a child free morning to shop and get things done and an afternoon with DD1 doing big girl things. And DD2 escaped mummy.

DD2 is very sociable, she adored nursery, the staff were lovely and the site much bigger and better equipped than preschool. No way was she giving it up to do another morning at preschool.

I liked my days peace.

DD2 liked nursery so much she did bits of their holiday play scheme for years.

My DD is 17months and I have recently put her in a creche for a couple of hours a day 3 times a week whilst I go into the gym. I could't really afford nursey but the creche isn't too expensive and DD has loved going somewhere that has millions of toys and started mixing with other kids.

There's no real benefits before the age of 2 (though lots of children go before then for childcare reasons and do fine in high quality settings).

High quality, part time nursery from 2ish has been shown to be of some benefit for children (look for the EPPE study). If you don't need it for childcare, using your free hours from 3 is fine though.

In my opinion that is early enough. Still a full year before they start school.