What age were your kids when they went to nursery?

[nightowlmostly]

I'm feeling confused about this at the moment. My first DS is 16 months old so we haven't put him into nursery yet. My DH is a SAHP so there's no need to from a purely childcare point if view.

I had just assumed that we would send him to preschool at 3, when we qualify for the free hours. Is this what most people do? I mentioned it to a colleague the other day, who proceeded to give me a pretty hard time about it, saying "that's the absolute worst thing you could do"!! She reckons its really good for them to go earlier, her daughter went at 18 months and she says she thrives. But they have childcare issues, which is why she went in the first place, so part of me thinks maybe she is so positive about it because they had no option iyswim?

I try to ignore people's opinions for the most part, and do what I think is best, but it's hard sometimes. She seems to have made me doubt myself, she even said "I'm not trying to say you're a bad parent but..."

I did always say that I'd play it by ear and wait and see how he is, if he seems to be getting bored and I think he would benefit then I'll consider sending him. I'm just not sure now what to do for the best!

And OP do what's best for you and your child.

As I say DD2 loved nursery at 18 months, DD1 would have hated it.

Even at almost 3, I get the feeling, she was inclined to sneak off on her own, slip off and climb the school wall bars, get craft stuff out of storage (more climbing) and avoid what she was meant to be doing at preschool.

Preschool teacher, was always very diplomatic, but I think DD1 was a grade a pain in the neck.

Mine started at 7mo but that's because I went back to work.

But for a couple of SAHM I know, their children started a day a week at nursery before 1yo. I suspect it's so they can have a day free doing their thing, instead of educational benefits for the child. Another who has her child with the parents started them at nursery for 2 days a week from 2.

Both my dc's went for 2 three hour sessions a week at 2.5 years old and did that till there 15 hrs kicked in at 3 years old, they did benefit from and enjoy it.

My DD massively enjoyed it once she settled in, from around 8-9mo. She still does. But that's different from whether it's of any benefit, isn't it?

Our LO starts nursery tomorrow 2 full days because there are no other children where we live and apart from a playgroup with much older children which runs term time only for an hour n a half once a week that's it
it's also so I can return to work studies schmudies my LO needs other children

Mine started around 18 months. Despite having used childcare, imo they don't really benefit hugely until around 3. If you use high quality childcare I don't think it's necessarily damaging before then, but if I had a choice 3 would be about right.

Do be prepared for them still to take time to settle though. Just because they are ready, they'll still need to get used to being away from home.

Thanks everyone. I'm really not against nurseries in general, and if I needed the childcare I would be fine with using one. It's just whether there would be an actual benefit for him, developmentally. I'll wait and see how it goes, and try and encourage DH to take him to toddler groups. If he seems like he's not getting enough stimulation from that then I'll consider it.

If you don't need to use childcare then don't. They will get enough "stimulation" and socialisation though regular stuff.

There are masses of studies out there all of which say different things. To contrast with the EPP study cited earlier you could look at the Perry Pre School Project or the abcdenaian study.

My DD has been looked after at home - split between my mum, me and DH. She is 3.8 and starting the nursery class of the local primary school next week. In theory she should have gone at 3, but there were no spaces in the class and we didn't want to go to a different village for the sake of 2 terms, so we waited.

What we did do was pay to send her to a playgroups 2 afternoons a week since last Sept (2.8), which has broken her in to being away from us (I hope - we'll see how next week goes!) It was really hard on her starting it and there were a lot of tears about us leaving her and not getting one to one adult attention. However, I think that is more to do with her personality than not being left sooner - other children I know in a similar position adapted much more quickly. And she loved it after the first term. Not sure I'd actually say it benefitted her educationally through (I think it is having lots of one to one time with family that has done that) but I do feel she is more ready for school / nursery socially.

Perhaps if you are concerned you could do something similar - not every day but leaving him pt? However, I don't think anyone can say it would be bad for him not to go before 3. A couple of deades ago when less mums worked, most wouldn't go before then!! I think it is all down to individual children and what suits them, which I don't think your colleague can comment on!!

Depends on what you feel comfortable with. There is research out there.....I feel comfortable at 3 but my son starts tomorrow at 3.8 .......

Ignore opinionated woman at work.......just one of these knobheads who thinks what they have done is best.
And if you don,t follow exactly what she has done......bad mum....usual defensive bollocks that goes with all the parenting options out there.
If you are home with your kid the is no need to put them in nursery but if you want to I found a lot of stuff I suggested said 3 is an appropriate age.....in an ideal world an all where childcare up till then is sorted. Of course the need to make a living means many do not live in the ideal world.

DS1 started at 2, went for two mornings a week. I didn't need it for childcare (although I did later start using this time to do Avon and mystery shopping and I was pregnant with DS2. He was obviously very ready by 2, very sociable, I spent a lot of time taking him to toddler groups, children's centres etc, but got to the point where it wasn't enough.
DS2 started at 2 and a half. I felt that he wasn't ready at 2. He went for four mornings as it was getting harder to do my work with him in toe. It has been fine, although he did take longer to settle. In two weeks he will be starting school nursery (3 years 7 months) and I will also be usng a childminder for wraparound care 2 days a week.
Dont think you can every compare or say whats right or wrong cause everyones child and situation is so different. For DS2, I think he would struggle starting school nursery he hadn't been to any nursery before, as it is I am hoping that he will settle in fairly quickly.

The biggest difference between what he will pick up at daycare vs at home at 16 months is vomiting viruses. Se is trying to justify her choice by denigrating yours (it's crap like this that distracts us all from fighting the real issues like 200,000+ missing school places!)

There was a great article about this in Slate recently where a journalist (also a mother who uses daycare) looked into loads of research and it seems like there is not much in it, except for children who are already coming from disadvantaged homes.
plus.google.com/115248624467441270705

I think the quality of childcare is far more important than the amount of time spent there or the age they start at. For some that's home care, for others it's a cm or nursery. Depends so much on personal circumstances too. Ds has been ft at cm since 10 months, in a very small group of children. He will continue with her for 3 days when he turns 3 and will go to a nursery for his free hours.

Various studied will tell you different things, but they do not necessarily allow for variables. All they do is generalise. If you are the kind of parent who is determined to do the right thing for your dc then chances are they'll be fine; whatever your choice.