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Original poster

My newborn wont sleep at night!

29 replies

AlmondFrangipani · 09/08/2013 11:21

Our DS is 8 days old and he is our first. He was quite poorly after the birth so we've only just come home from hospital. The days are pretty consistent with long ish feeds followed by sleep which can be up to 15 mins - 3 hours long. However at night he won't sleep. He feeds almost constantly, fussed or cries. Any tips to deal with this or just some reassurance that this is normal and will improve as we're completely shattered already!!!

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tywysogesgymraeg · 09/08/2013 11:25

Normal I'm afraid. It will pass, to be replaced by another, equally tiring and enfuriating stage

Mabelface · 09/08/2013 11:26

It's very normal. It takes babies some time to work out what's day or night. Just make sure that you catch up on sleep in the day as much as you can, and remember the phrase "and this too shall pass". Oh, and congratulations. :)

BoohPear · 09/08/2013 11:30

Normal!

Try and have a bedtime routine to help him learn when nighttime is.

We bath dd every other night but generally we do: bath, dry, put in vest, lay in cot or on our bed and play her mobile music, put in sleeping bag, feed until asleep.

He will soon learn, and at 8 days old all they want to do is feed and be cuddled.

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BoohPear · 09/08/2013 11:31

Oh and dimmed lights. We have a lamp on while getting ready for bed, not the overhead light.

LifeIsSoDifferent · 09/08/2013 11:31

Completely normal I'm afraid

SofaKing · 09/08/2013 11:33

You could try making daytime as exciting as possible, going out, lots of noise, lots of natural light. Then make night Times quieter and darker. He will slowly learn one from the other and be more active during the day, but this takes a long time.

You could also try cluster feeding in the evening, lots of time at the breast or more formula than during the day, babies often feed a lots at night as the levels of prolactin hormone are higher then. He might get tanked up and be too busy digesting to be fussy!

You have all my sympathy, ds1 was a terrible sleeper after he left hospital. But after eight months he was brilliant, and still is at six years so I promise it gets easier.

babybearsmummy · 09/08/2013 14:47

My l.g was exactly the same, she had to have a dim light/ lamp on so she still knew we were there.

Hawkmoth · 09/08/2013 14:51

Sleep in the day if you can. It's hard at first but gradually gets easier as baby works it out. Watch lots of telly and accept that the next couple of weeks will be topsy-turvy.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/08/2013 17:07

Completely normal I'm afraid. Try to not let him go more than 3 hours between feeds in the day. So that's 3 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next. Ideally though I'd try to aim for 2 hours in the day.

I'd also try to get him outside twice a day if poss, especially as the weather is so nice. So in the morning open curtains and make daytime noises. There is some evidence that sunlight can improve sleep.

Why not feed him then make yourself a and take Lo out into the garden for a few minutes? Better still get DH to do it while you grab a shower

DH could also take him out for a walk in the evening either in a sling or the pram to give you another short break, them some time together and Lo some sunlight.

At night keep things dim and quiet as the others have suggested.

Oblomov · 09/08/2013 17:25

Ds1 and ds2 were the same. My HV described it as them having their 'days and nights muddled up, and to try to help them switch it back round'.
Agree with all the advice given, try and limit/ cut back on day time naps, so they are more tired towards the night. And bedtime routine, bath etc. To try and encourage it.
Apparently can take quite a few days for these babies to 'flip around', but they do 'get it', said HV. Not so sure on her advice, actually, but you can but try.

UniqueAndAmazing · 09/08/2013 17:30

yup, they're not meantto sleep at night!
that's why you have maternity leave, so yo ucan be awake all night and sleep in the day if you need to :)

sleep when they sleep - it means taking short napes inbetween feeds, but it's better jsut to tell yourself it's normal and accept it

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/08/2013 17:35

Agree with unique.

Have you worked out how to feed lying down yet? At least that way you can rest a little

Melonbreath · 09/08/2013 20:01

Agree with taking your baby out in the day as much as possible, even if it's for only 15 minutes a time.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/08/2013 12:09

JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/08/2013 08:50

How are you getting on now almond?

TheFallenNinja · 11/08/2013 08:56

This too shall pass, hang in there.

Original poster

AlmondFrangipani · 11/08/2013 19:12

Hi,

Thanks for all the advice. We have been making sure he doesnt sleep for too long periods in the day. We have had slightly better nights but he seems to be restless from midnight - 4am and then sleeps at 7am - 9am! I am sleeping when he sleeps which is helping and have mastered feeding lying down which is a god send. In the day he has a pretty regular 2 hour sleep/feed cycle so if he could do that at night that would be brill!! Thank god for maternity leave!!

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/08/2013 13:29

All of that sounds totally normal. Nw hen he is unsettled in the night, does he just want to feed?

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 12/08/2013 14:00

Would you consider cosleeping? Go out lots during the day, as mentioned above lots of natural light. Tuck in with you at night. Use safe cosleeping rules and then when you've latched him on just let yourself float off to sleep. By the time he's a couple of months old, he'll be able to latch on himself and you'll barely wake.

It's the only way I survived with DS.

It will get better. All babies are different and the non-sleepers are really difficult.

Original poster

AlmondFrangipani · 12/08/2013 19:54

I never thought I'd be a 'co sleeper' but we have just slipped into this since feeding lying down. It definitely helps but he thrashes a lot and wakes me up. We've tried swaddling but he thrashes out of it. Bought a swaddle thing with a zip to try tonight. He slept for 5 hours (2 stints) today as we were out and about so not sure how tonight will go. Last night we were very close to giving up breast feeding!!

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HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 12/08/2013 20:11

Sleeping 5 hours in 2 stints is very promising. 5 hours is still not that much daytime sleep, and don't forget that unlike adults babies sleep better at night if they have good daytime sleep. Try to never let him be awake for more than 2 hours in the day or he'll get overtime. But also not sleep more than 3 hours in one go in the day.

You could also try adding in a bottle of formula in the evening if not averse to combination feeding, lots of people swear by it. It doesn't have to be forever. In a couple of weeks you could start expressing in the mornings and giving that in the evening.

Ds woke every 45 mins at night then fed for and hour and a half for 5 months so i truly do understand the hell you're going through.

It does get better. DD is 15wks and though waking every 2 hours still, she is so very much better than her brother that i think this is great!

Offcolour · 12/08/2013 20:16

I think they go through a (hellish) phase in the first couple of weeks where they want to be awake and feeding in the wee small hours. Something to do with hormones and best time to build milk supply. It doesn't last, hopefully it will settle down very soon.

Original poster

AlmondFrangipani · 13/08/2013 17:48

I have wondered about adding formula at night but the midwife was really against it or expressing as she thinks if we add a bottle then he will slip out of breastfeeding. Last night was better. He had a 4 hour period of being awake but not wanting a feed so he thrashed a bit but wasn't demanding.

Interestingly we went to a cranial osteopath today and she said he was colicky. She said that the reason for the constant feeding was to suck (apparently he is a very sucky baby) and help settle his stomach rather than feed (which will explain the short, frequent feeds at night). Her suggestion was a dummy rather than constant feeds as this is just filling him up and making the issue worse. I am not sure about this as I have always been a bit anti them but it may be worth a try...She said he would probably find his thumb or finger otherwise and at least we could wean him off a dummy.

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 13/08/2013 18:04

And what bfing training has she had Almond. From what's she's said it sounds like none. I'd seriously run that one past a BFC before believing it. Short frequent feeds are just what newborns do.

I'd also have a read of this and talk to a BFC before introducing formula. The formula could have a serious impact on your supply plus most mixed fed babies decide fior themselves which they prefer, then its usually hard work getting them to take the less preferred option. Which is fine if its fine by you but it may mean an early end to bfing, earlier than you may have liked.

Original poster

AlmondFrangipani · 13/08/2013 18:11

Thanks Jilted. It doesnt quite feel right to me to introduce a dummy so I needed to have a reality check! I was planning to go to a breastfeeding support group next week and get some proper advice. It is difficult to know who to listen to on all of this.

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