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Original poster

Am I wrong to be a bit annoyed by this?

33 replies

yawningmonster · 02/06/2006 03:36

DS woke up vomiting in the nite and by this morning it was obvious he had a bug. He had been playing with a group of friends on Wed so I thought I would call the mums and let them know he wasnt well and to look out for signs in their lo's. Of the four friends one said 1. "Oh yes J started Wed nite and lasted till late Thursday", 2. Yes, T has it too, he started vomitting on Thursday but it only lasted the day luckily" 3. "Us too he has started vomitting this morning" and 4. "Oh, B had this on Monday and Tuesday but didnt think much of it"

I am a bit annoyed that I was the only one to think to call and let others know though parent 3 admittedly had just got it and really annoyed that B. came to the playdate even though he had a couple of days previous to playing.

Do I just need to get over myself and get a little more sleep or would you be a bit annoyed too?
Do you call others that your kids have been playing with if they come down with a bug?

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Alipiggie · 02/06/2006 03:40

To be honest I'd be pretty annoyed too. The group of mummies and kids here try to call each other when the kids get sick prior to playing together, more often than not we'd had to call off the playdates. But the is very much what the pre-school likes us to do too. Why inflict your germs unnecessarily on other children.

LadyWitchofWaterford · 02/06/2006 07:08

Get over yourself, there will be many more of these to come!

trinityrhino · 02/06/2006 07:09

i would have been a little annoyed at all but parent three Smile

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threebob · 02/06/2006 07:18

Nobody has ever told me that their child has been sick - bottom line would you have cancelled the playdate for one kid who was sick 2 days before a playdate? He could have had food poisoning.

With a group of friends all with children (my mate has 3 under 4) I would never see them if we cancelled every time one of them had something.

Snafu · 02/06/2006 07:25

I think you need to get some more sleep Smile

Sorry for your poor ds, hope it's just a 24-hour thing (sounds like it), but I wouldn't be annoyed with the other mums. It's just one of those things, imo.

FioFio · 02/06/2006 07:51

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gigglinggoblin · 02/06/2006 07:54

i think you only have to wait 24 hours after a sickness bug before you go back to school (not everyone waits that long!) so 2 days i would assume wasnt a problem. if this bothers you wait til you get nits repeatedly, then you will be pleased!

edam · 02/06/2006 08:16

Yes, I'd be annoyed with all but parent three - of course children get bugs but it's rude and thoughtless not to let you know so you can decide whether or not you want to take the risk.

niceglasses · 02/06/2006 08:29

This happens all the time I'm afraid - in reality they could catch anything at anytime at playgroups, nursery or just around and about so I don't think there is too much point in avoiding it - and anyway, unless they have an underlying illness, these bugs can help them build up some resistance - they don't get them as bad again!!

glassofwine · 02/06/2006 13:12

Sorry, you did the 'right' thing, but most people don't because we'd all be forever phoning up and the children wouldn't leave the house. It's all good for the immune system and what childhood is all about, v true what someone said about nits. Just haveto chill a little, as they get a bit older there aren't so many of these bugs because they've had them all anyway. You too, unfortunately, (and the nits!)

morningpaper · 02/06/2006 13:17

But how do you know WHICH of your friends to call?! Mine mixes with probably 50 families in the average week and you never know how long things are being incubated for - I wouldn't dream of ringing people to let them know my children were ill!

Mum2Ela · 02/06/2006 13:24

Nope wouldn't be annoyed at all.

And also wouldn't think to keep DS or DD in solitary confinement for every little bug they have for fear of passing it on.

Kids get ill, sometimes a lot, sometimes not so much.

What bugs me is that recently every time I ask friends how everything is, in a general sense, they reply by telling me about every little sniffle their kids have had. Children of my friends just seem to be ill all the time!

Elibean · 02/06/2006 14:16

Most of the mums I know will let others know if their child had been ill before a playdate, but not afterwards necessarily - and then not for sniffles and colds, but they would for d/v bugs or chickenpox etc.
More sleep never hurts though, eh Wink

mumtoone · 02/06/2006 22:33

I think you need to accept that young children pick up bugs all the time and you can't expect everyone to phone you when their kids are a little ill.

christie1 · 03/06/2006 04:04

If my kids are or have been sick recently, I do tell the mom before I let them get together so they can make the decision whether to go ahead and meet.

SoupDragon · 03/06/2006 08:54

Well, B would have been allowed back to school 24 hours after being ill so no, I wouldn't have been annoyed.

bloss · 03/06/2006 09:06

So 3 out of the 4 didn't specially ring you to tell you that their child got sick after you last saw them. And one didn't tell you that their child had been ill earlier in the week but had been fine for 24 hours before you saw them?

I can't understand the issue here. I mean, even if someone rings you and says 'my ds who saw your ds 2 days ago has been vomiting today' what on earth are you going to do differently anyway? You can only sit and wait to see if yours gets it. A bit different with chickenpox or similar, as there is long incubation period and you need to know to look out for rashes etc. But not for mild gastro.

And if my child had stopped vomiting for 24 hours I wouldn't worry about a playdate. Probably wouldn't take them to visit a newborn or something, just in case, but apart from that it's just par for the course IMO.

Esmummy · 03/06/2006 09:08

I'd be annoyed but mainly because if DD is poorly i always contact the mums of kids she has been playing with to let them know and to keep and eye out for theirs

FloatingOnTheMed · 03/06/2006 10:25

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bloss · 03/06/2006 10:37

yes, but 3 of the 4 people she is annoyed with had children that only fell sick AFTER she saw them.

morocco · 03/06/2006 10:58

if it was something serious like chickenpox or g measles, then I'd expect to be told and would phone round as well but otherwise, no I wouldn't bother if there had been 24 hours between ds being sick and then going on a playdate. Sometimes ds1 is immunosuppressed and then I would ask people to make sure their kids weren't all snotty nosed etc beforehand but you can't worry too much about these things - there are bugs everywhere!

FloatingOnTheMed · 03/06/2006 11:07

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bloss · 03/06/2006 11:10

But she's annoyed with people whose children were healthy at the time they met!

FloatingOnTheMed · 03/06/2006 11:13

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LIZS · 03/06/2006 11:13

Presumably B had been ok on Wednesday in which case no I wouldn't have expected 4 to mention it in advance. Also those whose kids have subsequently got it unless there were plans made to meet which needed reviewing or it was something contagious and potentially incubating like C'pox.

ds had a rash just before half term which was itchy so kept him off school and dr couldn't decide if it was viral or allergic, then I hear from ds' teacher that another child in class had had a similar viral rash earlier in the week. It went after a day or so. I was mildly annoyed that the child was apparently still at school with it but if I'd known maybe I would have just sent ds too as he wasn't actually unwell.

Sorry but I think you'll have to get used to this to a certain extent and as the social circle widens it would be more difficult to pinpoint the origins of every bug anyway.