toddler and newborn - what is the hardest thing to deal with?

[IAteTheCake]

Dd is 2.1 and dc2 due in 7 weeks. I am really worrying about how to cope with a toddler and newborn. What did you find hard and how did you deal with it? Tips please! I'm trying to be as prepared as possible!

I loved the Kari me and used with dd until she was 18 months. Worth every penny and excellent resale value on eBay. Thereis nothing you can't do with a baby in one if those. Saved my sanity with DC3 as I had a 2 yo and 3 yo to deal with.

Reminds me, breast feeding ds2 a d people tended to point at baby and say to ds1 that's your brother.

My mum said to him one day where's your brother and he pointed at my left breast. That was awkward.

I also found him trying to express milk with the breast pump over his chest, looking a bit confused!

Dd2 is due in 6 weeks, ds is 19 months. Realised today that whilst ds is an excellent walker he is definitely not going to be ready to be buggy free at 21 months as df has been insisting throughout the pregnancy he would.

The twin pram may not get used often but I'm so glad to know it's there for the occasions the weathers too bad to sling dd2/buggy ds and I now know ds won't cope on long days out without a buggy.

Thankfully df is hands on and I rarely have 2 dc with me at once so I know whilst dd1 (8) is at school/playing in the house/at gps I can leave a baby with df and take the other one out whether it's for the doctors, fresh air, I need a walk etc.

So for me, twin pram = godsend

The hardest thing for me was that dd1 dropped her nap for six weeks immediately after dd2 was born. So dd1 was awake all day and dd2 was awake all night...

Luckily this coincided with Christmas so we had plenty of family around to help!

Got BFP today so going to reread this thread for tips!

im due DS2 in October and DS1 is pretty high maintenance so will be following this thread with interest! thanks xx

The hardest part for me is when they are both crying at the same time - it makes me want to put my shoes on and walk out of the front door and leave them to it But the moment passes and one or both of them stops crying and life is ok again.

I always say that my life with a newborn and toddler is hardwork but fine for 75% of the time, very difficult for 20% and hellish for 5%, but it moves from 'hellish' to 'fine' very quickly and then it's all ok again.

I second the top tip about childcare for at least a few hours a week for the older one. Works brilliantly for all 3 of you.

Good luck!

What age do toddlers move from a cot to the next bed (straight into a bed? Or something in between?)

Did you move DC1 from a 'nursery' to a different room then have the nursery for the new baby? Wondering how the logistics worked and whether there was any resentment for the new baby 'taking' older DC's room. I also think I'm going to have to buy another cot but want to avoid too much duplication.

Get a stretchy wrap. Ds lived in one for the first 6 months - he got constant cuddles and boob access (pretty much all he wanted!), dd still got my attention. Made those months much easier than I was expecting. When he started moving and nicking her toys, however....!

Congratulations mortified!

Congratulations Mortified! And all others on this thread expecting lovely new babies :)

Honestly, the thing I found hardest about going from 1 to 2 was the complete lack of mental space. I felt like they were both in my head, occupying every available scrap of thought power during every waking moment. And since DS had dropped his nap before I even got pg and DD was the world's crappest sleeper, that was a lot of waking moments. BUT we got through it all - they are now nearly 5 and nearly 2 and are the best of friends. It really does get easier after the first year. I remember shortly after DD's first birthday, having a feeling of being able to catch my breath at last.

Stretchy wrap (Moby) was a godsend for me since DD was rather a velcro baby. Once you've got it on, you can just leave it on all day and pop the baby in and out as needed. DS was nearly 3 when she was born so was a very confident walker by then, but in the early days I made sure the sling was in my bag so that I could put DD in sling and DS in pushchair when he got too tired/fractious/escapist.

Getting out of the house every day was also crucial to everyone's sanity!

ice DS1 was 19m when DS2 born.Moved DS2 out of our room and in with DS1 when he was 8m so they shared.I bought a second hand cot and kept them both in cots until DS1 was 3!
May not be a popular view on here but worked for me.It meant that I could have a shower in the morning as they were both contained.Also DS2 was safe from DS1 who initially would have tried to get in his cot or throw toys in.
.Sharing works really well and they don't disturb each other.Now I've got DS3 I'm thinking of putting him in there too when he's 6-7 months,but I'll ask DS1 if he wants his own room.I think he'll say no.When little they like the company.

Thanks Beatrix that's interesting! We have 2.5 bedrooms and DS is currently in the 0.5 - it really is only big enough for a smallish cot and chest of drawers. Useless as a guest room as couldn't fit a full size single (let alone double) in. So it's currently the 'nursery', sorry I know that sounds a bit poncey. I wonder if such a think as bunk cots exist !

They do! Hold on I'll find a link. . Www.Thebunkcot.com

Yup. I've seen a version at right angles too, which might work if you have a slightly bigger space. Converted into two toddler beds with a desk space underneath. No idea where I saw it though

I'm going to come back and read everyone elses tips later when dd1 is in bed :).

Mine has to be double buggy. I really enjoy when I am walking down the road I get some peace as both are safe and pretty much quiet and happy the whole time. Well no crying anyway even though dd1 bombards me with questions. It has also made it so easy to get out and about to groups etc to entertain the toddler which in turn makes time at hone easier.

We have one of those bunk cots! It's amaaaaaaazing!!!