Before I had a baby I never thought I would....

[octanegirl]

Come on, this will be fun! Before I had a baby I never thought I would:

Pick another human being's nose for them.....for example

Come on girls! Let's 'av em! :)

Enjoy picking bogies out of someone's noes SO much
Take 5 mins to get the baby in the bath so DH can wash her whilst covered in wee and poo
Wipe the drool from babies mouth and just dry my hand on my jeans
Put my hand out to catch someone else's sneezes
Get my boobs out in front of my mum, dad, sister, nan and two nieces (not all at once!)
Do the sniff check

Get so much joy from such a little person

Need to keep spare clothes in the car for projectile vomit incidents.....for me as well as the baby!

Stand at the front door pressing my car key at it

Every day!

A new dad friend just told me he was so tired he tried to squirt ribena in the washing up bowl. I can totally relate to that.

Rock an empty shopping trolley back and forth like a pram

Be awake for 20+ hours at a stretch, and do a full day's work somewhere in the middle. Often thanks to night owl DS and teething DD.

be so happy and also say "I'm not asking, I'm telling!" incessantly. Also pick at another human being with such satisfaction - noses, cradle cap... you name it, I'll pick it.

Clean a shreddies poop nappy --more than once glutton for punishment-'

Talk about poo soooo much - seriously, my bf and i spend most of our time on the phone talking about our kids bowels

Worry so much about one person - ds had a jippy chest so i am forever panicking about weather appropriate clothing plus where his inhalor is and of coarse his excema flare ups and infections. It never stops.

Take a dc to hospital for eating an anti fungal bathroom paint - he looked like a smurf!

With dd watch barney from 9am every morning for around 3 hours without noticing it was the same dvd and i wad singing along the whole time.

Be so proud of anyone learning to crawl/walk/talk/climb in and out of buggies. I remember getting teary eyed at dd doing buttons up on her winter coat!

Pick a baby up, and smell its bum.?

Wipe someone else's nose with my fingers and then wipe it on my trousers...

Lay back down on a wet bedsheet to sleep next to baby as although he has wet through his nappy he is finally asleep and there is no way I'm waking him up - it's just wee, right? And I'll be having a shower in the morning anyway and he can't tell...

Wipe poo off a carpet. Twice...

Think 'Oh it's just a bit of sick, I'll clean it up later'

Have cbeebies on and then realise that the children aren't there for the weekend!

Leave the house with no shoes on.

Love another human being so completely and unconditionally.

Be able to recite large chunks of every episode of fireman Sam.

Spend the morning at work singing the theme tune to Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service.

Wipe snot on to my clothes without batting an eyelid.

Peel a small person off their bedsheets because they have been glued there by snot.

Inset a suppository in to another person

Start a thread on a public forum asking for advice how to get runny poo out of the crack between the floorboards...

On a less poo and snot obsessed note, I never imagined I would chew food before giving it to the baby. I remember seeing an article about some actress doing it and thought it was disgusting. But then I had a weaning baby and it just seemed so easy to bite a bit of fruit, chew it a little to soften it, and then feed it to her. Though I am aware I'm in a minority in this one.

Turn down oral sex in favour of sleep. I really honestly NEVER thought that would happen.

shiraz yes! I'm lost without a pushchair!

Calm myself by rocking/swaying. In public.
Being able to spot other new parents (even if they don't have their kids with them) as this is something that everyone does. But you only realise when you've been there.
Not be totally freaked out when DD vomited up her entire milk feed into my bra, which then acted as a pool. I had to clean her face while asking DH to wake up as it was the middle of the night. Got up, went to bathroom, bent over toilet, poured sick out of bra, got clean clothes for DD so DH could change her. Only then did I consider that a shower was in order. Before I had DD I would gag if anyone was sick in my presence.

Run into a room to look at the colour of my babies poop :)

Oh these have made me laugh. The one about cheering on someone who is doing a poo really resonated. I've also found myself giving my DD gushing praise and hugs and kisses when she manages to push out the big trump that has been giving her grief for an hour. Oh clever girl, what a lovely smelly trumpleton! Ohhhh good girl! Dear god.

Never thought I'd so willingly give up sleep, baths, clean teeth, two handed meals, clothes that don't have sick on them, and small handbags, for the mess and tiredness and grime and noise and general loveliness that is having a 4 week old daughter.

Go out for dinner in my tracksuit bottoms as I was too tired to cook and too tired to change.

Give up half of my dinner as I was so excited by my LO trying something new.

Be getting up at 5am. I was used to going to bed at that time

Yep I regularly tipped dd2's sick out of my bra. Dear god

Actually like it.
Pick babies noses
Not get bored
Feel love like this.

Wipe sick off myself with my hand and think "you can't tell"

Walk through town with raw chicken in my hair and not notice...... Had made a casserole before leaving the house in a mad rush to get to baby group :)