15 And pregnant what do i do?

[memz9090]

I am 15 and just found out that i am pregnant and i do not know what to do, i really wont to keep it but need people to talk help?

That must have come as a shock..how are things with the father? How far along are you? You'll need to make an appointment at the doctors as soon as you can

I have been in a relation ship with my boyfriend/father for nearly 10 months he is aware of this and wonts to keep it i am 6-7 week and i found out and went as soon as i make my decision i have to go back what should i do ?

It depends where you see yourself.

If you imagine yourself concentrating on your A-levels, getting the best grades you possibly can, travelling, going to uni, meeting loads of people and living away from home, then going on to a fulfilling high flying career- don't continue with the pregnancy.

If you're happy being 2 years behind in your education, going to college later than others, being stuck more or less with your boyfriend as a co-parent/or partner, having you and a baby crammed into your teenage bedroom and missing out on the best years of your life- go ahead.

waits for someone to come along and say that they had a baby at 15 and went to Oxford and became a brain surgeon and is now minted

You're 15. You're a child, this isn't right or fair on anyone- most of all on you.

Make a doctors appointment to discuss your options thoroughly, and I genuinely hope it works out for you no matter what you decide- but I will not tell a confused 15 year old child to 'go enjoy your bubz' as the amount of ultra scans I have from children on my Facebook feed makes me want to die.

Memz,is your Mum around? Can you talk to her? I know this must be a difficult thing to bring up with her, but the more people you have to talk to in real life can make all the difference.

I agree with EuroShopper, except that I don't think you necessarily have to be working hard at school or having a high flown career in order to get a lot from life (without a baby) right now.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, but my son is 15, and I know he and his friends are not ready to be parents. Being a parent means constantly having to consider another demanding, unreasonable, person, and putting that persons absurd needs way ahead of anything you want. Then you have to be incredibly patient, and then, when your child is unhappy or does something bad, you feel guilty and responsible and worried, even though you did the best you could for them. Then you have to feed that child every day and earn money to pay for a million things. Some people your age are really good parents, but they would have been great parents when they were a few years older too.

Of course it's also wonderful having children and I am not saying this is an easy decision, or that anyone can tell you what to do. I think that it can be incredibly hard at your age to have an idea of what the point of life is; school might seem like bullshit to you (often it IS shit to a lot of people), and you might not know what work you want to do. Your boyfriend and the idea of having a baby might feel real and meaningful to you, but you don't lose anything by waiting, and you can gain so much: freedom; time to make sure you are in the relationship you want; the chance to figure out what you want to do in life, the chance to be irresponsible if you want; the chance to travel.

An abortion at your stage of pregnancy is not a difficult medical process. You probably know that the embryo is still tiny (about 1 cm or less I think), and that you can take two pills to terminate the pregnancy. I am not saying this is easy, as your body and hormones will be telling you to stay pregnant; nature wants every living thing to reproduce- that's why there are 7 billion of us.

The best of luck to you, what ever you decide to do.

I am nearly finished grade ten, and my boyfriend is amazing with kids we wouldn't be crammed in my room i would get a apartment, where i live it is very easy and also i can rely on boyfriend to babysit whilst i attend school (College) ect.. My mum currently knows of the situation and is supportive either way i choose, my plans will not stop at this baby occuring but i do believe that i wont to keep it. Unfortunately you are right the amount of kid getting pregnant is very high but i would like to keep my pregnancy secret and personal and no upload on facebook just in albums. If i choose to keep my baby do you believe this is wrong? And what do i need to get sorted out?

I only just read you post it is quite clear what you all think... But i think i will keep this baby ?

Keeping the baby isn't wrong but its possibly the harder option long term. How would you cope if the baby's dad suddenly wasn't as reliable as your expecting him to be? Or you split up/ didn't live together.

If your going to get an apartment where is the money going to come from and what do you want to do about your education and future?

Nothing is impossible but having a baby is hard hard work for anyone and will make everything complicated for a very long time.

You will not be free to do what you want for a long time.

It doesn't really matter what we think. There are lots of people who think either keeping or ending the pregnancy would be wrong. You are the person whose opinion here matters.

I was just trying to talk to you as I would talk to one of my son's friends, though of course it is much better to do this with actual talking than writing.

I guess I was trying to get you to think about some things which might not seem as important to you as the feeling you have of wanting the baby. I don't actually think people listen to this sort of advice though.

One little detail; if you do have the baby, don't think of your boyfriend (or you) as "babysitting". You are the parents, and are equally responsible for the baby. If one of you thinks of taking care of your child as "babysitting" they might end up feeling like not an equal parent.

I got pregnant at 17, had my baby at 18...then went all out and thought dd needed a sibling and I didn't want a massive age gap so I had dc2 22months after dd. My dp works hard in a good job, we have our own home, I carried on with my college course, got my qualifications and now work part time while bringing up my dc :) ...it was hard to start with as dd was 2 months premature so that complicated everything! It's good you have a supportive family. Having my children young was easier than what dp and I have just done, which was to move half way across the country! Good luck, sure you'll do just fine :) but that's me saying having a life and an education around having a baby is possible :) (sorry for lack of paragraphs, iPhone won't let me!)

Hi,

I had my first baby and the choice is absolutely yours. Do not let anyone influence your decision because at the end of the day you are the one that will go through the pregnancy and will have to look after a baby, then a child and then be a parent of an adult.

Be prepared for hard work and making a lot of sacrifices. It's great you have support but make sure you could cope without it, as things may not work with your boyfriend or he may have to go out to work so college may have to go on hold.

Good luck with it all xxx

I meant to say I had my first baby at 17.

*student; not teacher

Thanks guys i know that there is alot to think about i am keeping this baby i will be a amazing MUM not babysitter i have always loved kids since i was little and have many difficult experiemce i know my boyfriend very well and if in the long run it don't work i hav alot of family on my side thanks guys

! what do i need to organise and 6-7 weeks??

There really is a huge difference between 17 and 15 though isn't there?

OP how do you know you can get an apartment? Benefits are changing in the UK and housing will become more difficult to get, also the kind of housing won't be nice. I had a friend in accommodation and it was shit. Really shit. Not the kind of place you want to have a baby.

My second baby woke up every hour on the hour for the first few months of his life. No, seriously. and he could be awake most of that hour. I'd wake up with a baby hanging off my boob and barely know how he got there. And I'd be petrified I's fall asleep on him I was so knackered.

You don't want a kid. You'll miss out on your 20's which are categorically the best time of your life, or should be.

My cousin was pregnant at 15 and the baby at 16. Complicated pregnancy meant she was hospitalized for weeks and couldn't get as many GCSEs as she'd hoped to. Dont assume you'll have a great pregnancy. She has now finished her education at 28. Are you prepared to wait that long to even start a career? It's ok to be just a mum. But children may not fulfill you as much as you think.

She was very much like yourself from what youve said, believed she would be a great mum and her boyfriend would stay with her forever, that family support would keep her going.

It was lovely for her for awhile, just s she imagined. But he left her when she was 17, she was devastated. she started to realise that there is much more to life than being a mother, and was bored at home all day with the baby. Lots of different thing meant she couldn't start college again til she was 21/22.

She has been a single mum now for 10/11 years. She has not had another relationship in this time. She has had about 4 holidays in this time. She has had to go without new things for herself, clothes make up etc. She has had to work bloody hard to keep a roof over their heads. (50/60 hour weeks min wage) cos benefits just won't cover her bills. She has gone into arrears with phone bills etc and had baliffs around. There's been a lot of desperately hard times for her.

Perhaps you should ask your mum about how many of her school friends are still with their 15 year old boyfriends to get some perspective on that aspect. None of my friends are btw.

At 15 youve got so much growing up to do yourself. You need time to figure out what you want from life. Fuck, I'm 27 and still have no idea. I know people who are 40 and have no idea.

Think carefully before you proceed with this pregnancy. Try find other people who've been there. I think maybe try find a different website that has a specific teen pregnancy section. Talk to more people who've been teen mums and see if they'd do it again. I don't think many would.

I also think if you're determined to have this baby, why are you coming on here to discuss it in the first place? You should be confident enough to just read through the forums about what to get/ what to do rather than asking for advice. There's no-one to ask at 4am when the baby is having a screaming fit. Youve got to be mature enough and confident enough in your abilities to just deal with it. It's flipping hard and scary.

You seem decided already to have this baby.
But the way you write, shows your views, your naievity, and your childishness.
But at 15, I still consider you a child, with some much potential, and fun years ahead of you.
I had a blast, best years of my life 17 - 21.
I am worried, that you are a very big mistake. But by the sounds of it, you have already decided.

The OP said she was in 10th Grade, so I'm guessing she's in the US, not UK.

JESUS! She's clearly stating she wants to keep this baby, please just give her the advice she needs rather than trying to change her mind, you lot wouldn't be saying this if she were in her late teens.

1. Go to doctors
2. Start taking pregnancy supplement ASAP in the UK we have pregnacare
3. Talk to your school about whats realistic in terms of education.
4. Start getting ahead nutritionally, quit anything you should be quitting and start eating properly.

Btw, I was two years behind due to illness, didnt graduate til I was 25.....it mattered a bit at the time but on the long term or after two or three years it doesn't matter.

Ruby from the OPs spelling of want, I didn't really understand her posts until the second or third read through. She also said "if I choose to keep the baby, would it be wrong?" I think 99% of people would say for 99% of 15 year old's, keeping an unwanted pregnancy is wrong.

Ruby from the OPs spelling of want, I didn't really understand her posts until the second or third read through. She also said "if I choose to keep the baby, would it be wrong?" I think 99% of people would say for 99% of 15 year old's, keeping an unwanted pregnancy is wrong.

I think 15 is young to have a baby but not impossible. I had a baby when I was 15 he is 11 now and I'm extremely successful in my career but it has been extremely hard work. I had a very supportive father who would babysit every evening whilst I continued evening classes. I lived in a mother and baby unit for the first 18 months. Practically what you need to do is think about what you want to do with life, what you want for your child's future and plan ahead to see if you can make it work. There will be times whatever you decided you will regret it momentarily. There will be times you cry whatever you do. Please don't worry about whatever anyone will think, you make a decision on your future and I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide xxx

OP was using mum which is why I assumed she was british, but yeah she did also use 10th grade, so could just be a troll getting it wrong. Ive seen another young MUM one before pretending to be american and getting it hideously wrong.

However if she is real and American unless her parents are willing to subsidize her and her baby she is in quite a bit of trouble. Welfare is not a nice thing to be on here and public housing is horrible. Also if she is considering having an abortion she needs to figure it out NOW. She might have to go across state lines depending on her situation and the legalities of her state and she needs to keep it very quiet if she does as that can be illigal in itself.

Also, school is already out for summer holidays in America, though the OP has said she's "almost finished."