15 And pregnant what do i do?

[memz9090]

I am 15 and just found out that i am pregnant and i do not know what to do, i really wont to keep it but need people to talk help?

...posted too soon, realised my point makes no sense (I blame the newborn who kept me awake all night, OP!!)

I hope everything works out for you, though, whatever you decide to do.

I am actually Australian... basically the only helpful person on here is ruby and i would like to thank her.

The ONLY helpful person was Ruby? I am not sure that is fair.

I've read the thread and saying only ruby is helpful is unfair, you asked for opinions and got them, if you wanted peop,e to just give you the pro choices you should have phrased your op differently.

That said, I believe it's completely your choice, but please don't think it's all hearts and flowers, I'm messaging now as my 12 week dd has just had a feed, it's the first time since birth she's gone eight hours. I'm now 30 and thought a baby would be soooooooo easy, it isn't, it's hard work, tiring, hell tiring doesn't even cover how I've felt. My DH has been amazing and it's the first week I've not been going to bed for a few hours every afternoon when he arrives from work, my uni course through work has been put on hold and I haven't got a clue when Ill have the energy to resume that.

I just wanted to point out that it's really really tough and this baby was planned.

Good luck in whatever you do.

Heh heh. Good luck memz. You'll need it. I would suggest that continuing your education (or getting some) might be a better idea, but if you want to set yourself up the hard way for life, you crack right on.

We are commenting (largely) from the position of having had children and dealt with a lot of life. To dismiss our opinions negates asking for them. Jog on and hope you get everything you want out of life.

Don't put all your eggs in the pregnant basket, though. A lot can happen over the next few months. Get thee to the doc, not a bunch of Internet sprites, and have anther chat to your supportive mother. Is your boyfriend's mum so pleased about him giving up school and shacking up with you? How are you intending to work to pay for all this between you?

As parents, presumably you have sat down together and calculated your budget?

Young mum does not equal bad mum and similarly having a child does not necessary equal an unhappy life in your 20's! Plenty of people hate university and partying and want different things out of life. I agree that having a child has a big impact on your lifestyle but not necessairly for the worst... Its your decision- no one can prepare you for how difficult having a child is, but thats the same whether you're 14 or 40. Being young presents added challanges in terms of money, isolation, judgement etc but they can be overcome if you want it bad enough. Best of luck whatever you choose :) I got pregnant at 19 and sometimes have days where i think about what if i hadnt and wish i hadnt missed out on things etc but most the time im happy with the decision i made. I know a few people who regret their abortions too.

I think people should stop posting about this she's obviously still quite immature and wanted everyone to tell her she's going to be ok. At the end of the day I am pro choice in the srnse that you choose to have sex you deal with the consequences. Having a baby is hard no matter your age and if she wants to believe that everything is going to work out for her then great I hope it actually does because the reality of the situation is coming in less than 9 months.

I said basically, you have all expressed your opinion and my boyfriend has completed school.. I asked at the start for your opinion than said I am keeping and asked what should I organise first and she was the only one that commented with a response helping me.

You are not helping with all these opinions I know it's going to be very hard but I need this in my life.

If you feel like you "need" a baby in your life at 15. You really don't need a baby in your life.

If you think you are going to get any kind of love or affection from a baby you are mistaken. They don't "give" anything to you for a very long time (years). The first year especially is just take take take, until you want to cry. That's in the best of circumstances when you haven't got to worry about money or your relationship with your partner and you're old enough to live alone. Post natal depression is real, and harsh and affect many more women that you probably realise. If you feel like you "need" a hole filled in your life it will not happen with a baby. It will get worse.

Where in Australia are you? I'm in Australia and I can't think of anywhere where it's easy to get an apartment...
It's a tough road ahead but if you are dead set on this good luck to you. People here are giving you wise advice though, don't get stroppy and turn your nose up at it just because its not what you want to hear.

I was pregnant with my first child at 17, gave birth just after my 18th birthday.

I worked bloody hard to continue my education and to provide for my daughter. The stress of a baby resulted in her dad and I splitting.

For a good few years I had to study part-time and work part-time to achieve my career goals but I got there.

I was 32 when I gave birth to my second baby 6 months ago.

This time I am able to enjoy my baby a lot more but nothing can ever prepare you for just how hard it is.

My baby wakes at least 5 times in the night and up until recently, he woke up every hour.

I am sleep deprived and add to that the general baby stress and money worries, my relationship with my partner is being tested to destruction.

The strongest of relationships will be tested by the arrival of a baby.

Now, this is your life, your body, your choice. No one else has a say in what you decide.

I just want to be honest with you about difficult it can be at times. However, my children are my world and I don't regret one second of their lives.

Good luck

OP, you say your mum knows and both she and your boyfriend are supportive. I suggest you show them this thread, and get their opinions again.

As ruby said up thread, go and see your family Doctor. When you are there, I think you also need to talk to him / her about Why you need this baby.

In practical terms, I think you should start looking at the "becoming a parent board" and start adding up all the practical things you need to buy for the baby, at least for the first year and how are you going to pay for it all:

Basics:

Nappies you will need about 200 a month, which according to this site will cost you about $60-70 AUD per month or 800 for just the first year

Will you breast feed, or formula feed (then add bottles and formula - say 4 boxes a month)

Babyclothes - s/he will need new ones every 3 months
Moses basket / crib
Pushchair
Carseat (can your boyfriend drive/ do you have a car?)
Babybath
Highchair
Sterliser

This is just a tiny list compared to the huge amount of equipment babies seem to need. Will you be able to buy it all? You say you want to keep it a secret, but you may need friends and family to lend you things.

Also for yourself, you will need maternity clothes, nursing bras.

Are you prepared for your changing body shape, stretchmarks?

I was pregnant at 16 and had my daughter just a little after I was 17 I'll be 18 before she is 1 though. It's entirely up to you if you do want it though don't let judgemental people force you to abort your little baby. I was about to do level 2 at college but got kicked out for being pregnant. Not sure how it works with school though but you can always do gcse's at college if you wanted it's just like having a break and most colleges provide free childcare anyway if you have under a certain amount of money so it wouldn't matter if the father did leave. All you have to be sure of is that you want this baby and you can care for them and support them emotionally and financially for the next 18 years even if the dad leaves. The father of my baby left and I've coped it's incredibly hard but rewarding too just understand you won't have money to treat your self probably, you won't have any free time or spare money and you will be tired but being a mum is so rewarding and I wouldn't change it for the world. If you keep it get saving now and go to the doctors and they will contact a midwife for you. If you want anyone to talk to or someone to support you I'm here :)

I was pregnant with my ds when I was 16, going onto to 17 in the summer between secondary school and college. I matriculated at Cambridge University last year for law (not Oxford for engineering unfortunately ESED) and am going onto my second year (different uni though after a quick transfer, still law and still Russell Group) and am still with his father. It was, and still is, extremely difficult. I have had the support of my parents, my dp's parents, my dp and a wider network of family as well to make everything work and at times when I am crammed into my room with a law textbook with a toddler flinging play dough at me it really does make me wonder how things would be if I had a child later on in life.

I cannot say what is the right option for you, your personality, your support network and your lifestyle/aspirations will determine that. I know two girls who did not carry on with their pregnancies and they are also doing ok, one of them is at college now and the other at university, knowing that the decision they made was right for them.

I know it can be quite a daunting prospect of being a young parent and I can certainly share some horror stories of people in positions of trust and authority belittling me for the choices I have made. What I do suggest however is taking some time to think about what you will do if you have this child, financially, in terms of housing, education etc and also what your boyfriend will do, will he be there when things get very difficult? How will he provide for this child and will his parents lend support?

I do hope you make the right decision for yourself, like I said, my choice was good for me and the choices of my friends were good for them.