Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

14 weeks sleep training?

30 replies

eltato · 05/06/2013 22:28

My daughter is 14 weeks old and we are trying to get her to sleep in her crib (I'm our bedroom) at 8pm.

She's normally up with us until her last feed (about midnight) but its leaving no adult time.

Is it too early? I thought the first night was going okay but it's almost time for her last feed and she's only had about 20 minutes sleep between cries. I now think that when I get her up for her last feed she'll think 'she's won" the battle.

Obviously we're not tryin to get her to sleep from 8pm til the morning yet. But just a couple of hours between 8 and midnight would be nice.

Just wondering if we're trying too early or we should wait until she no longer needs a midnight bottle.

I'm trying the 'put baby down, pick up when cries, settle and put back down. Repeat' method.

Thanks for any thoughts.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

YoniBottsBumgina · 05/06/2013 22:30

Too young. Can you not have adult time with her downstairs? That's what we used to do when DS was that age. I didn't find him disruptive until he started to crawl.

She is far far too young to have any concept of "winning the battle". She just doesn't understand where you are, she still thinks you are part of her.

doublecakeplease · 05/06/2013 22:31

She's a bit little to be trained imho. If she's always gone at midnight could you bring it forward by 10 / 15 minutes every few nights?

elvislives2012 · 05/06/2013 22:32

Too young IMHO. just started doing this with DD and she's nearly 8 months and has more awareness of what's going on. At 14 weeks baby just wants to be near you. It won't last forever and it gets better so quickly

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

YoniBottsBumgina · 05/06/2013 22:34

I think the last feed is usually the one which stays the longest BTW - I'd expect her to drop the other evening feeds first. Probably not until 5 months or so or even after weaning, though.

valiumredhead · 05/06/2013 22:34

Much too young. Best part of the day at that age is cuddled up on the sofa in the evenings watching telly with your feet up

KrazyKurls · 05/06/2013 22:35

11 month old DD has just started going down at 7, she is our third DD, it really doesn't last for ever.

There will be loads of 'adult time' when she's a bit bigger.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 05/06/2013 22:38

She has needs. Not wants. She isnt manipulating you and it isnt about who wins.

Adult time is going to have to go on hold really.

noblegiraffe · 05/06/2013 22:40

Too young. My 19 week old was up till 11 I think at that age but she is slowly pulling her bedtime forward herself. Tonight she went to sleep for the night at 9:30.
Just keep her with you in the evenings, we watch films while cuddling the baby.

KrazyKurls · 05/06/2013 22:46

What does she get in the way of really?

At that age I let mine kick around naked peeing on a towel or rolling about with some toys.

Wowserz129 · 05/06/2013 22:51

Way way too young. Quite bizarre you are even thinking about it at 14 weeks old enough to ask the question

5madthings · 05/06/2013 22:55

Far to young, she is tiny still.

SIDS advice is she should sleep in the same room as you until 6mths anyway.

Honestly enjoy the cuddles this stage will pass.

Teapot13 · 05/06/2013 23:09

Shouldn't she be sleeping wherever you are, anyway?

My newborn sleeps in her Moses basket in the living room in the evening -- she isn't supposed to be upstairs in her bed by herself.

poocatcherchampion · 06/06/2013 06:04

too young. adult time comes hen a newborn doesn't need you 24/7

IsThatTrue · 06/06/2013 06:18

I agree with others much much too young. My DS is 6mo and he only started going up to bed a few weeks ago in the evenings, and that was only because he stopped settling in the living room. I would have cuddled him to sleep for a bit longer if I could tbh. But he's my third and I'm much more relaxed than I ever was with PFB. So I understand why you feel this way. But honestly it gets better naturally. Enjoy the newborn snuggles they are gone far too quickly.

Oh and they aren't capable of manipulative behaviour. They have needs and wants. So what if they only 'want' a cuddle rather than needing one, they are a tiny little baby.

CreatureRetorts · 06/06/2013 06:28

Pick up put down is for bigger babies I thought? I would cuddle her to sleep instead.

I know it feels like forever but actually 14 weeks is still only little. You won't be making a rod or creating props or anything like that.
I found that mine were naturally tired at around 6pm and if I missed it (which I did with my first quite a lot) then they'd not go down until a lot later.

PoppyAmex · 06/06/2013 06:37

Too young and should be sleeping in the same room you are.

DangoDays · 06/06/2013 06:43

Gosh far too young! As others have said should be in same room. No battle here or winning/losing. Just needs being addressed. You will get an evening back but try to enjoy this time.

minipie · 06/06/2013 09:56

ok I'm clearly in the minority but we had started 7pm bedtime by then. We didn't leave her to cry at all but would feed to sleep, put in cot with monitor on, then rock back to sleep every time she woke up. it took a few weeks of dashing upstairs frequently to rock her but after that she started sleeping 7-11 then 7-12 etc fairly reliably.

the downside is she got used to being rocked to sleep and would have to be rocked back to sleep multiple times after 12 as her sleep got lighter during the night... so eventually we did CC but not till she was older.

noblegiraffe · 06/06/2013 10:15

My DS started sleeping earlier and giving us our evenings back by staying downstairs with us. No need to dash upstairs for weeks and truly disrupt your evenings, because the baby will probably start going to sleep earlier as he gets older anyway.

Original poster

eltato · 06/06/2013 12:34

Well, she seemed to take to it pretty well actually. She went down fairly easily, and she was a very happy child when she woke up for her last feed.

Usually she will not settle, even with cuddles on the sofa, and is very unsettled until her last feed. We were guessing she was too tired. So this way she goes to sleep between feeds. If she doesn't take to it, then we won't continue, but she did last night.

As for the SIDS comments, I have a night vision camera and she lays on a breathing monitor. She's a very light sleeper and I don't think she will ever fall into that deep a sleep.

We didn't abandon her. I was there with her for a lot of the evening.

I just want to get some sort of routine going. And bed at 8pm seems a good start.

Thanks for your remarks. Even if I do come across as 'bizarre'.

OP posts:

PoppyAmex · 06/06/2013 12:40

Just in the interest of general information, breathing monitors and night vision cameras aren't considered to reduce the risk of SIDS at all.

is some more info.

noblegiraffe · 06/06/2013 13:00

Poppy, that link is about OCD?

PoppyAmex · 06/06/2013 13:03

oh ffs - thanks giraffe!

This is the right link.

CreatureRetorts · 06/06/2013 13:07

You're not bizarre! I think is normal to want an evening back and some routine. You might have better success with an earlier bedtime. Watch her from 4pm - does she want a nap, if so keep it to 45 mins max then aim for bedtime.

stowsettler · 06/06/2013 13:20

Well I'm with minipie, my 14 week old has been going to bed at 7pm since about day 1. In fact these days by 6.15pm she's very happy to go upstairs and start her bedtime routine. Crying when she's put down is very rare, she obviously thrives by knowing what to expect and is usually asleep within minutes. In any case she's never left to cry if she wakes at all.
I am well aware that some of what I do contradicts SIDS guidelines; conversely other things I do are very much in line with SIDS advice. They are just that after all: guidelines. We do what works best for us and DD. I'm hoping we won't even need CC (certainly won't if she carries on like this) but am perfectly prepared to do it if necessary.

Flip

1 2