Eating with the kids - who actually enjoys this?!

[choceyes]

Because I don't!!

After having two DCs (now 4 and 2) I have realised that eating uninterrupted is very very important to me and I get pretty when the DCs constantly keep getting in the way of my meal.

The constant requests, more of this, less of that, dropping cutlery, dropping food, spilling water, won't eat this or that, tugging me on the arm while I'm trying to eat, standing up in the chair, trying to get down, me trying to cool down their food by endlessly blowing on it while my own food gets stone cold in the meanwhile (how does that happen?!)...argh all this gives me the rage. I end up eating really quickly and not enjoying my food and I hate that.
If I had a choice I wouldn't eat with the kids, but we try to eat as a family in the evening, and I'm too hungry to wait to eat later anyway.

I'm not alone in not enjoying family mealtimes am I?!

I'm pleased to hear its not just me that dreads meal times with DC! I eat with her when she's not at nursery but I relish the days I can get dp to do it (rare) . We havefamily meals once or twice a week, usually at weekends, and it's usually v stressful as dd will invariably dick about and not eat much-- and dp will then (despite my protests) give her toast in front

of the tv.

We have always had the family tea, if it has been possible, right from day one.
Now ds1 has practically left home, but he is still here for tea whenever he can.
For us it is a chance to catch up, spend time together and an important part of family life.

dd1 is a pretty good dining companion - ok table manners for a six year old, and generally unfussy
her sister (2.6) is hard work though - messy, suspicious of any new food, veg-dodging

in fact tonight I commented that it was the first time in ages that everyone has enjoyed everything and eaten without moaning, other than when we have ASDA pizzas.

We only eat with our kids at the weekends or on holidays.

They have their meal at about 6pm which is far, far too early for us, then dh and I have a nice relaxing chat over our dinner at about 9pm.

One or both of us will be with them in the kitchen when they eat - so we have that same sort of 'tell us about your day' chat.

Me!
Mine are 4, 2 and 5 months (he just sits with us while we eat :) )
We chat a lot at the table (no car so none of those long journeys to chat) about the day, what we're going to do tomorrow and other silliness.
We didn't used to have a table to eat together so we're really enjoying it now we do.
If I try and eat at any other time my DS1 wants to eat whatever I have and literally stands in front of me with his mouth open until I put food in it! (He's the 2 year old, not the 4 year old) that annoys me far more than any interruptions at the table.

When my husband is working late I save him some dinner but eat with the children. I can't really imagine regularly leaving them on their own to eat and eating later although since mn I realise lots of people do!

We've always eaten with ours. And I have honestly forgot what was like when they were toddlers.

Its alright now mine are older. They are 12 and 9. I didn't used to like it and I couldn't bear the alternative - cooking twice. Now it is a time to have a chat without electronic devices (except the telly occasionally).

I agree with those who say it is worth the effort to stick with it. If you don't eat with your DC much it will take longer for them to become civilised as they won't have any behaviour to model themselves on. Table manners are important and I didn't want mine to be the naughty children in the restaurant and other peoples houses who couldn't use cutlery because they had never seen people doing these things properly regularly enough.

Not all parenting tasks are fun and/or easy. Sometimes you just have roll with it in the knowledge it does get better.

Of course if you can't eat together for reasons of logistics you just can't and that is a shame, but it certainly helps.

I enjoy it. Dds are 17 months and 3.5 years. There's a bit of getting up and down but not so much that I don't get to eat myself. We have dinner during the day when DH is at work and that can be a challenge to get it on the table, but once it's there everybody calms down again.

I'm surprised I'm in a minority as I get stressed by a lot of this parenting lark. We have the dining table in the kitchen. Maybe that makes a difference?

Definitely less stressful as they get older. I love sitting round the table for a meal together now.

I agree - it is less stressful now they are older - mine are 10 and 12 and it is great to catch up on their day - for them to listen to what we have been doing etc.... we have always eaten together at the table whenever possible -

I don't want to make more work cooking twice etc, and do think that because they have always eaten what we have, it has contributed to a lack of fussiness... (I know - everyone says "you are just lucky" etc... but it's my opinion!)

I always loathed it, but we stuck at it until the kids were about 9 or 10.

They're now teens and we only eat as a family about once a week. Ds shovels his food in as if he is eating with a spade and swallows without barely chewing and dd dissects her food as if it is laced with poison.

I think eating together as a family is vastly over rated and if I had my time again, I wouldn't bother.

It can be really stressful when they are that small. Sometimes I found it more stressful leaving them to it, because that tends to encourage pea fights etc They probably wouldn't notice if you just sat down with a cup of tea or some vegetables.

I do, but we only have one toddler, and as we live in France he has very good table manners (that book wasn't kidding!)

It's crap as family time in the sense of spending time together or some such. It's only important because you don't want your children to go to a dinner party when they are 26 and pick up the butter in the butter dish and bite it like an apple. If you just want to chat to your children and see how they are doing, then don't pick a moment when you are hungry, they are hungry, and you are bawling at them that IT IS NOT A COMB TAKE THE FORK OUT OF YOUR HAIR I SAID OUT OF YOUR HAIR NOW PLEASE

I hated family dinners when I was younger, because they happened EVERY SINGLE DAY with no respite, I hated being made to feel guilty about how much time and energy they cost my mother, I hated helping with all the work while always knowing that my paltry efforts didn't touch the sides and did not mitigate the guilt, I thought sitting bored for hours over enormous bowls of spuds was making me fat (true), and - this is the bit that I did not articulate till years later - I hated that I was really desperate and lonely, had no one to talk to, and 5 people sitting around a table making polite conversation despite the fact that at least 2.5 of them actively hated you at any given moment did nothing to bring me any significant relief from this loneliness while allowing my mother to congratulate herself on Spending Time With The Family, and it was the only time I got, and it utterly insulated her from having to deal with me or my extreme unhappiness.

So we will not do them every day and they will never stand in for real time with my children. They are just about learning how to have dinner.

I've always loved eating with my kids, it's a chance to catch up with each others' days and generally chat together. We've had each of the boys at the table with us from as soon as they were comfortable in the highchair. When DS3 was a baby I would feed him at about 4.30 then give him a finger food snack in the highchair while we ate. Once he was a bit bigger he ate at the same time as us. My boys are now 19, 15 and 6 and we still make a point of sitting round the table together every night - we eat early (usually between 5.30 and 6) as DH gets home about 5.20 and DS3 goes to bed at 6.50 as it's important to us. I am a rarity among my friends though, most of them feed their kids earlier and then eat later with their husbands even if the husband is home early enough to all eat together.

DD is 2 but I've always enjoyed eating with her. But she's not fussy, likes eating and chatting... I think I'd rather stick forks into my eyes than eat with either of my nephews (2 and 5, different familes) - one only eats marzipan and the other refuses to eat without an iPad.

I eat with mine, they are 6 and 3, hate the mess, they are crap at eating at the table and using cutlery - some days are better than others. Some days, not all, I sit and read a magazine at the table whilst eating my meal with them which I know is rude and defeats the object, sometimes however after a stressful day I have to zone out of their monkey business and fighting.

I find it very stressful, primarily because DH goes overboard on the "keep your elbows off the table" "Fork and knife in the right hand" "Don't play with your food" . DS usually complains about the food and rejects something he ate last week, oh and his friend invariably rings the door bell in the middle of it to see if he can come out and play.

Luckily because of our disparate schedules it doesn't happen every day. Strangely DS has great table manners when we eat out - which we do quite often.

I do it a couple times a week. DP doesn't get home till gone 8 so it's just me mainly, and ds hates anything to eat apart from a couple dishes and will only try anything if it's cold and preferably no-one watching.

He can switch on charming table manners when we go to Grandma's though, so I try to chill out. Buses and trains and walking are our times for conversation.