Eating with the kids - who actually enjoys this?!

[choceyes]

Because I don't!!

After having two DCs (now 4 and 2) I have realised that eating uninterrupted is very very important to me and I get pretty when the DCs constantly keep getting in the way of my meal.

The constant requests, more of this, less of that, dropping cutlery, dropping food, spilling water, won't eat this or that, tugging me on the arm while I'm trying to eat, standing up in the chair, trying to get down, me trying to cool down their food by endlessly blowing on it while my own food gets stone cold in the meanwhile (how does that happen?!)...argh all this gives me the rage. I end up eating really quickly and not enjoying my food and I hate that.
If I had a choice I wouldn't eat with the kids, but we try to eat as a family in the evening, and I'm too hungry to wait to eat later anyway.

I'm not alone in not enjoying family mealtimes am I?!

Ours are 8, 5, 3.5 and the baby is 10 months. Mealtimes can be torture. One or other of us is p and down getting stuff, often the younger two both need to be on laps. Sometimes there are tantrums, and often others eat the food off our plates. We persevere in the hope that in a few years time we will have lovely family dinners. Growing up I was plonked in front of the tv . Occasionally it works and then it's lovely .

I have always loathed it up to very recently. DS1 is 7 and now eats well and can sit still for the whole meal and is good company. DS2 is 3 so not there quite yet but more bearable than he uased to be.

We only eat together once a week, but will make it more often now they are turning into civilised people. Our evening meal is a very important part of the day for DH and me and having the children eat at the same time has always made it far too stressful

I'm with puckertoe on this one.

I find it boring, wearing, annoying and am constantly jumping up and down to fetch bibs, pick up forks, blow on beans etc, but I think eating and talking together over a meal is a vital part of how I want my family to socialise, so I'm prepared to put in the work to achieve this.

It hacks me off to the point if screaming when DP wanders off during breakfast to put on his shoes or something. yes, I'm anal

I admit that I couldn't take this attitude if it was EVERY meal, but for all breakfasts in the week and all meals at weekend this is how we do it.

lol Pucker We have never eaten much with the DC and I find that they are perfectly well adjusted. They both know how to sit and eat a meal in a civilised fashion and actually see family teatime as a bit of a treat!

I'm afraid I never eat with mine (3 and 1). For one, I couldn't imagine eating at 5:30pm, which is when they eat and also I enjoy eating a civilised meal work my husband in a relaxed environment after they have gone to bed! I do sit with them whilst they are eating to ensure good table manners and some (very basic) conversation!

I'm reading some of these getting strangely sentimental about blowing on beans, and picking up bibs

I'm turning into one of those old ladies in the street who come up to you and say

Enjoy them while they're little,
They grow up so fast...

I do, and even when they were tiny I generally did, I like the chance to chat about our day. But there were times I actually felt seasick from the incessant movement around the table. I used to have to stop and lie down. That's got better now.

see Hand the screaming in the morning would entirely outweigh the benefit of eating together. What a stressful start to the day! And if you are screaming and stressed I think you are actually teaching children that mealtimes are stressful, not that they are pleasant occasions to look forward to. I am really glad we have left it until the DC are a bit older and now all enjoy it. Plus DH and I appreciate eating a meal together and having time to ourselves after the children are in bed.

We used to eat as a family when growing up and sometimes the tension between my parents would make me feel like I had a rock in my stomach. Horrid

I don't actually scream - what I meant was it hacks me off HUGELY when DP won't take seriously what I think is an important time commitment to our children.

I agree that if the family implodes over a meal theres no benefit to forcing the situation, but its something we need to learn to do and be disciplined about it.

I 100% agree about having social eating time just me and DP. At weekends we eat tea with the DCs at 5.30 ish, then supper at about 8.30 pm - both light meals, but supper include booze. This is my wind down time.

Mine are aged 3.5 and 5.5 and I find I get indigestion when I eat with them. My five year old is fine but my three year old is a bit of a nightmare. During the week I tend to eat with my DP when he comes home about 7.45pm. I am normally starving by then. We always eat together at weekends.

Funnily enough my DCs know how to behave "properly" at the table, know how to use a knife and fork, how to make conversation without having to have a regime that cannot be broken that we all eat together.
Sometimes we do, it depends on who is doing what that night.
We don't have breakfast together either.

Wow. It's a wonder they aren't animals, what with the lack of parental supervision at meal times isn't it.

Exactly the same as Thea's18 said in first reply.
Being a parent to 2 and 4 yr old can be hard work, but it's SSoooooooooooooo worth the groundwork you put in now, to have family mealtimes together when they are older, and you want to stay in touch with everything going on in their lives.

For me, eating together as a family is extremely important. We do most evening. DSSs 17 & 19 and DD 18 months. They boys think DD is hilarious and we have fun.

She is trouble when they visit their mum but if she isn't hungry we just let her down. I hate giving her food on her own and I like her to eat what we eat.

Oh god, I can sympathise. Mine are 5 and 7 and it's hellish. As soon as they sit down they say "Errrrrrrrrrrr, what's THAT? It's disgusting, I'm not eating that!" Then within 60 seconds of sitting at the table like Pavlov's dog the oldest one goes for a 10 minute poo. Then comes back and the other goes. Meal goes cold. Cue more whinging. Eldest will then spin round in his chair and lean back all the way through the meal because he literally can't sit still, and they both arse about arguing, dropping food and chewing like llamas. No actual eating is done.

I hate it.

We eat breakfast together every day, and then try to eat most meals together at weekends. They are 6 and 8. They aren't too bad, and generally I quite enjoy eating with them. We are quite strict on table manners (not that DS2 listens) and make them try new stuff now and again. We also eat out maybe twice a month - the local curry house is the favourite at the moment!

I do but my DC are now 11 and 8. It's a good chance to catch up on the day it makes sense for me to just cook one meal.

Whichever DC finishes first gets to entertain us on the piano (unless it Archers time )

I used to loathe it with a passion. And I hated family mealtimes throughout my childhood and adolescence. Now, however, I enjoy eating with a nine and 12 year old.

It's horrible, but important.
It's the same things that make it horrible and important - that the little buggers have to be taught to be civilised.
We used to do it all the time when I was on mat leave and it nearly broke me.
I think you have to do it sometimes but it is fine to acknowledge that it is not the same as a nice meal with an adult and sometimes you can just give them tea and eat nicely when they are in bed.

Remember, you don't have to enjoy it. Like Curryeater says, you can do it with a smile on your lips and secret loathing in your heart.

I agree curry we have always made an effort to do it sometimes, usually once or twice a week at the weekends. It's not practical to eat together during the week anyway, but if we did I think I would be a gibbering wreck!

We eat together (DCs 6 and 8) but we don't eat the same thing necessarily - either variants on a theme or me and DH eat something else completely while they have something quick and easy. I guess it's more effort but they don't like that many things so it stops me getting bored! Also, it gives them the opportunity to try new things if they fancy it.

bornagain 8yo appears to be incapable of using cutlery - laziness rather than inability - drives DH bonkers!

I do like it and it saves clearing up twice. I also like separate meals occasionally though preferably at a nice restaurant with no kids in it .

We eat with the dc (7 and 5) most evenings, and definitely every weekday. It used to be a bit of a pain, but they are slowly getting less fussy. They are amazingly slow eaters, but then I eat too fast! We all eat at the table - no tv in the room. Hopefully us eating together and eating the same food has helped them become less fussy and broaden their palate. If they had been eating separately from us, the temptation to just feed them beige, breaded, oven-crap with beans all the time might have got the better of me!

We can't eat together every night because my DP doesn't even finish work until after 6pm then a commute home. So, it is far too late by then for the children to eat. I agree it is great to eat together, but it is more of a nice to have in my family due to our lifestyle. This has not hindered my children's palate at all or their table manners. I always sit with them for a chat when they are eating anyway. We get to eat together at the weekend and we usually eat out somewhere nice, so we make up for it .

I don't enjoy it!I posted somewhere else about my 3 year old's inability to sit at a table for more than 5 minutes.And often the baby wants a feed so I sit at the table bf helpless as DS1 runs around and DS2 eats an entire yoghurt with his fingers.And as for meaningful conversation?Forget Advantage is cooking once,cleaning the kitchen and putting on and unloading the dishwasher before bathtime so have more of an evening.
But family tea time is my least favourite part of the day.

We rarely eat together but DC do sit at the table and one or both of us sit with them. They have managed to master table manners and conversation without a morsel passing our lips. No delegation to the TV. There are many reasons we don't eat together, not least because neither of us enjoy our meal, but it doesn't mean they have no "skills".