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Original poster

Putting baby to sleep in another room

32 replies

WestieMamma · 02/06/2013 10:54

Is this a complete no-no?

Baby is 6 weeks old. Currently he's in with us and I'm getting no sleep whatsoever. He sleeps very well and wakes up to feed once and then goes straight back to sleep. The problem is, it's like sharing a room with a gremlin. He's so noisy in his sleep that he keeps me awake.

He had his own bedroom (no in use yet) and I was wondering if it would be safe to put him in there instead with a monitor (with the volume turned down a bit). The room is an adjoining room, so his door is next to my bed.

Yes or no?

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Lala29 · 02/06/2013 13:41

Different people feel very different about this and there are various guidelines that also keep changing and it's up to you how you want to interpret them. We put DD into another room on day 2. We all slept better for it and I believe I was a better mum for it.

Vividmemories · 02/06/2013 14:30

Read up on the SIDS guidelines and make your own choice. Personally I wouldn't, we still have DD in our room at 7mo.

Vividmemories · 02/06/2013 14:31

They get less grunty after a few weeks by the way!

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 02/06/2013 18:32

We kept DS in our room for six months as per the SIDS guidelines. The whole point of keeping them in your room for sleeps is so they don't fall into a deep sleep and forget to breathe.

We saw it as a risk not worth taking, if I'm honest.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 02/06/2013 18:33

Oh, babies are noisy in their sleep, but it settles.

lifesobeautiful · 02/06/2013 18:41

I couldn't sleep either (I'm a very light sleeper) - and being miserably tired every day is not conducive to a happy mum or a happy baby.

So, even knowing what the guidelines are (which change frequently) I would do it, but use a movement monitor for peace of mind. (Avent do a brilliant one, or even go for a video and movement sensor monitor - I've just bought one for my next baby - a Tommy Tippee one). Or if you want to be double sure, you can buy a clip on movement and breathing monitor which clips onto the nappy and monitors breathing.

lifesobeautiful · 02/06/2013 18:45

Oh I've just remembered something else. You could try white noise next to your bed - ie for yourself. I used to put the tumble dryer on so I wasn't hearing only the baby grunting. I'm 38 weeks pregant and I've just got an app for my iphone which is called White Noise. You can listen to thunder, rain, trains, etc and it just dulls other sounds - but you can still hear crying obviously. If you're too anxious to move her out, that might help! I moved my DS out at 8 weeks. But I intend to move my DD out at 2 weeks.

Hadassah · 02/06/2013 18:53

From the beginning. She is 6 months and absolutely fine. There are guidelines from the government for everything, of course.

QTPie · 02/06/2013 19:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Kafri · 02/06/2013 19:22

I had all these plans for when DS arrived - he was going to be in with DH and I for 6 months was one of those plans. Well, that quickly went out of the window. We ended up doing the first 6 weeks as shifts as DS would only sleep upright so one of us always had hold of him, then, gradually, (once we got his milk and meds right) we managed to be able to put him down to sleep but only on his tummy. I still insisted on doing shifts at this point as I wasn't supposed to let baby sleep on his tummy, so there we were in the living room watching him around the clock while trying to get him to sleep on his back.
He would also only sleep with white noise on as well so no chance of sleep in the same room as him. By 10 weeks, I had slowly started to sleep a little in the same room as him but was more dozing than sleeping. At this point we moved him into his cot in his room and I spent a week sleeping on the floor beside him to keep one eye on him.
Then I moved back into our room with the monitor so I can only hear the hum of the white noise rather than the full sound which is fine. DS will still only sleep on his tummy. I have tried and tried and tried to get him to sleep on his back but he's having none of it. He's 6m (nearly).

Wasn't anything like the ideal I had planned out but had to go with it...

Thurlow · 02/06/2013 19:27

DD went in to her own room at about 8w. We were all struggling to sleep. DP also worked shifts, so between me going to bed, him going to bed, him getting up, me getting up - poor DD was being woken all the time, it was far too disturbing for her (I know they need to be disturbed a bit, but this was too much).

Only you can make this decision. Read all the SIDS guidance and decide if you are happy to move them. You certainly won't be the first to move your baby young, but because of the guidelines you should be comfortable with your decision.

Strokethefurrywall · 02/06/2013 19:32

I would put him in his own room with a monitor - if it makes you feel better perhaps you can get one of those video monitors that keep track of their breathing.

We had the same issue, DS slept well from the start but by 2 months his squeaky noises were keeping me awake! We put him in his own room as soon as we finished swaddling him, which was when he could roll over.

MortifiedAdams · 02/06/2013 19:35

Put some ear plugsin. Advice says babies should sleep in the room with someone so they hear you not the other way around. Ear plugs will block the grunts but you will hear the cries.

lurcherlover · 02/06/2013 19:43

The worst is incredibly unlikely to happen - really it is - but if it did, and baby had been in his own room, would it play on your mind forever that it might have been a factor? If it would, it's not worth the risk to your peace of mind.

The monitor will make no difference. It's baby hearing you (specifically your breathing) that's important, not you hearing baby.

TwentyTinyToes · 02/06/2013 19:49

Can i just add that having them in with you to sleep has been a guideline for quite some time, at least three years since DS was born. I have a five month DD and she is in with me.

The advice is also that daytime sleeps should be in the same room as an adult for the first six months. It is a personal issue but for me i just could not sleep if they were not close.

Thurlow · 02/06/2013 19:56

I get very confused about how people manage to have their DCs sleeping in the same room as them all the time for the first six months. This genuinely isn't a dig at anyone who is going it, but I don't understand how.

For example, I had a baby that wouldn't settle in the living room even with dim lights and the telly low, but who wanted to sleep at 8, so one of us would have had to go to bed at 8 - great for sleep, yes, but not so great for conversation, eating dinner, doing any housework. This was also a baby who wouldn't sleep in a moses basket or pram in the corner of a room. That's what confuses me, I really don't understand how we would have managed to eat, clean, occasionally see each other if we stayed with our baby 24 hours a day.

Again, not criticising anyone who does this, just I know that for us (regardless of the baby moving to its own room at a young age) I don't think we, our relationship, or the house would have survived!

honeytea · 02/06/2013 20:23

I think ear plugs sound like a good idea. The thing about the breathing monitors is that once a baby stops breathing due to sids it is too late to revive them anyway, the research I looked at said that the breathing was the last thing to stop working when a baby dies from sids.

WingDefence · 02/06/2013 20:47

I have a 9-wk old DD and she is less grunty since I made more of an effort to wind her after her night feeds. It was far too easy to just put her straight down once she fell asleep in my arms. But winding her had really helped.

As for when to put her in her own room though, we put our 4yo DS into his room at 12 weeks and we all slept better for it - him included. It was because he grew out of the Moses basket and we didn't have room for a cot in our room.

We will have to do the same for DD in the next few weeks although TBH I didn't know the safety advice was because of the baby hearing our breathing, not the other way round and I'm now a bit worried about it. Not much I can do though unless I can magic some more room into our bedroom for the cot :(

TwentyTinyToes · 02/06/2013 22:17

Would a travel cot fit? My babies have liked to feed much of the evening so have slept/fed on my lap and come up to bed when i go. I do remember DS wanted to settle earlier in the evening at some point before 6months and i just stayed upstairs with him, used the laptop or read. We felt it was such a short time in the scheme of things, we are probably in the minority with this though.

Xmasbaby11 · 02/06/2013 22:20

We kept DD in with us for nearly 6 months. I wouldn't risk moving a baby any earlier because of the SIDS risk. The reason we moved her a bit early was because she outrgew the moses basket.

The other advice about earplugs etc sounds useful.

Ragwort · 02/06/2013 22:26

The advice is also that daytime sleeps should be in the same room as an adult for the first six months - really? - surely that is just not practical, most of us need to be doing something else whilst our baby naps, many parents will be back at work etc etc etc. I know people always say 'its for such a short time' but really, I just can't believe that you wouldn't want to do anything else whilst your baby naps - maybe I was lucky in that I had a baby that napped a lot and went to bed happily at 7pm every night .

I put my DS in his own room from about 4 weeks, for daytime naps as well and I never bothered with a monitor - he's always been the most fantastic sleeper .

rowtunda · 02/06/2013 22:30

DS was in his own room from three weeks and I was on a camp bed with him until 8 weeks before retreating to my lovely double. I don't regret it at all.

Guidelines are guidelines and you have to do what it best for your family - there is not an amazing cut off point when the baby reaches 6 months which suddenly makes it safe!

As for all daytime sleeps in the same room the evidence that particular guideline is based on is unbelievably sparse and should be taken with a huge pinch of salt.

Thurlow · 03/06/2013 10:22

Exactly, ragwort. Unless you can just pop your baby in a moses basket or pram in the corner of a light, noisy room and they'll fall asleep, I just don't understand how this would work in RL. I understand the logic behind the guidance, but it's just not practical at all.

scampidoodle · 03/06/2013 10:35

I agree about the daytime sleeps (and even the nighttime, certainly after the very fragile first few weeks) and if you think about it, in order to hear your breathing (which I understand is what they think it might be linked to) you would basically have to be very close to your baby with no/very little other noise whenever they were asleep. That would mean not letting the baby fall asleep in the car or pram when out and about.
At 10 weeks we put DD into her own room with a monitor. She seemed much sturdier by that point than in the early weeks!
OP - have a look at the guidelines and any evidence behind them and decide what is best for you and your famiily, as others have suggested.

TwentyTinyToes · 03/06/2013 14:06

Babies are most at risk of SIDS between 3-4 months when they begin to sleep a little deeper.

My two have never been great sleepers however i have never found the not sleeping alone guidance to be particularly restrictive. My DD naps in a travel cot downstairs, sometimes in the buggy either on the go or parked, sometimes in the sling or bouncy chair. I have a very energetic 2 year old to keep up with, napping in her cot would be harder to enforce and would also limit what my DS could do.

Read all the guidance OP and do whatever you are comfortable with, for me that is keeping my babies close by.

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