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Original poster

anyone got 2 under 2s?

35 replies

joanna1985 · 29/05/2013 07:56

ive just found out im pregnant again, my lo is only 8 months and tbh i am absolutely petrified.

has anyone been in the same situation? what is it like?

my partner thinks its great to have them close together but im worried about my money/sanity/career/
and i feel a pang of guilt already thinking my lo will feel jealous or left out :(

OP posts:
mummy2benji · 29/05/2013 08:24

Not personally as mine are a bigger gap between them but I have two friends who've survived it! One friend had 5 children under the age of 5.5yo... Shock (twins). She lived to tell the tale! She said she simply lowered her expectations, didn't fuss about house cleanliness and had an extra large pair of jeans that she could pull on over PJs for the school run! You find ways to cope, I think. My other friend found out she was pregnant when her ds1 was 6mo and had a 9 or 10 month gap between them. It's going to be fairly tiring but actually your lo is really too young to feel jealousy at that age, so that shouldn't be a problem. Once you're past the tiring stage I think it will be lovely to have 2 children close together in age who will happily play the same games and entertain each other. Sanity is overrated anyway Wink I replaced mine with coffee and chocolate.

Original poster
joanna1985 · 29/05/2013 08:31

lol thanks, if i have twons i think i would have a heartattack.

i actually feel quite upset, i know thats really horrible :( i just dont feel at all ready for another one, i was just getting settled into being a mum to my lo and being back at work.

OP posts:
flanbase · 29/05/2013 08:41

It's hard work but any age gap is really. You'll be really busy dealing with the them at similar stages but it will go quicker with the second as they'll copy the 1st. The key is organization - have stocks of supplies at home to save of trips to the shops, keeping things stress reduced.

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Original poster
joanna1985 · 29/05/2013 08:56

im the most unorganised person in the world too. :)

god this is going to be crazy

OP posts:
notso · 29/05/2013 09:00

I have a 16 month gap between DC3 and DC4, they are 2.5 and 13 months atm.
DC4 was unplanned and I spent the whole pregnancy petrified, we didn't tell anyone until I was nearly 20 weeks. Then he was born and I wondered what I'd been so scared of.
It has been a challenging couple of years, DC3 is in the full blown terrible two's and now DC4 is mobile the jealousy is kicking in.
A lot of my problems stem from having the two older ones too which you won't have.
If we didn't all have to be up and dressed for the school run and have tea at 5.30 on the dot because of after school activities then things would be much easier.
I hope that they will be close, everyone keeps telling me they will be. I think once they are 3&4 or possibly 2&3 things will get easier.

Locketjuice · 29/05/2013 09:03

I am currently almost 30 weeks pregnant and have a 16 mo so will let you know in 10 weeks Smile

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 29/05/2013 09:07

Watching with interest. Got a shock BFP and am now nearly 8 weeks pregnant and DS is 6 months today so there will be 13 months between them.

I'm shitting myself and we paid fr a private scan at the weekend - partly to to check that it wasn't twins as, like you, I would have had a complete breakdown

Now I've got my head around it a bit, I'm trying to reassure myself by thinking that any gap has its pros and cons and that things might be a bit easier as DS won't be steady on his feet and able to run away

Feelslikea1sttimer · 29/05/2013 09:08

I have 2 boys aged 13 & 14, my eldest was 8 months when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd.... At the time it was a bit crazy, and the 1st few months of ds2's life are a bit of a blur BUT that aside, I am so glad I did it that way, they are now incredibly close, have the same interests and are good mates (don't get me wrong, they can bicker with the best of them sometimes)

My only advice would be, try and get a bit of a routine in the hope they have their naps at the same time, as your house will never be tidy again otherwise!

Oh and one last thing... Jealousy, I found the only time when there was a tiny bit of jealousy was at bedtime when that was mummy time, my eldest used to say "no baby mummy" so I used to make sure the baby was in bed 1st and then it worked wonderfully :)

Good luck and congratulations

CouthyMow · 29/05/2013 09:10

Not any more, but I did have - there's 19 months between DS1 and DS2.

However, they are now 9 and a half and 11!

I survived! Grin

(I also had an older DD with SN's, when DS2 was born, she was 5 and a half)

It wasn't that hard when DS2 was first born. The hardest year was when I had a 2yo and a 3 and a half year old. Two toddlers...

Now, though, they share a room, watch dvd's together, play computer games together, and generally keep themselves to themselves and don't annoy me!

CouthyMow · 29/05/2013 09:14

I used to be the most disorganised person in the world. I have a theory. My theory is that you somehow manage to get more organised with each DC you have.

DS1 now doesn't even remember a time when DS2 wasn't here - in fact he seemed to feel like DS2 had always been here by the time DS2 was just 6mo!

I had far more problems with that with DD, as there was a 4 year gap between her and DS1, so she remembered just fine what it was like before DS1 was born.

I think the things that you are worried about would have been far worse with a larger age gap, IME.

It's lovely now to have DC's so close in age.

mummy2benji · 29/05/2013 09:14

My MIL had 3 lo's under the age of 4 - she said that having them so close together actually meant she didn't have to get anyone out to school when the youngest was a baby, so she didn't have any time pressures regarding getting them dressed etc in the mornings and that made it easier.

whilewildeisonmine · 29/05/2013 09:15

I'm 17 weeks pregnant with DC2 and have a nearly 1yo DS. There will be 17 months between them. I'm excited about having them close together but petrified at the same time! I wasn't a fan of the baby stage and the thought that I'll have that all over and done with in a few years makes it all worth it.

Eskino · 29/05/2013 09:16

Did have a few months ago!. I'm just about getting into the swing of things, getting out most days but I don't worry if we just potter around the very messy house and garden.

Online grocery shopping is the best invention!
Forget about ironing or even doing anything more than is absolutely necessary. My days are filled with chasing after 2 yo with baby in my arms. Rely on support and get your partner on side to be able to do whatever you can't manage.

The most important thing is to be prepared for the chaos, let it happen. It is what it is and all that!

Congratulations and Good luck!

Ruebarb · 29/05/2013 09:25

Had just over 14 months between my two over 20 years ago - 17 months of having them both in terry nappies!! Eldest did not walk until 22 months so spent 8 months carrying them both around! I have survived to tell the tale and actually enjoyed that time - accepted I could not get out of the house until at least 10.30 am and I just let the day run around the 2 children. Did not have employment outside the home and no school runs to worry about so in some ways was easier than having a pre school/ school age child and a baby.

Knittingnovice · 29/05/2013 09:27

I've got 20 months between DS and DD1, they are now nearly 5 and 3 and play beautifully.
The first year was hard (partly because DH started anew job working nights). But we also have some wonderful memories & I am definitely more organised now ( DD2 is 6 weeks old)

Knittingnovice · 29/05/2013 09:28

And like ruebarb, I had 2 in cloth for over a year, but potty trained DS, and then DD trained herself 8 months later!!

Original poster
joanna1985 · 29/05/2013 10:24

thanks everyone, this is all reassuring. think it could be good craic when theyre a bit older and are so close in age they can play.
just my career and stuff will have to go on hold. im actually considering retraining as a teacher, im currently in media.

OP posts:
li41lh · 29/05/2013 10:35

I've also got an 8 mo and am 16 weeks pregnant...I'm going in with blind optimism, and assuming I'll be fine...

Original poster
joanna1985 · 29/05/2013 12:09

li41lh i think im about 6 weeks, do you work? im starting to be a bit more optimistic as the days going on.

i just think itll b hectic, i found it so hard with my lo at the very start and i still think its hard some days so with two god knows!

OP posts:
ChasingStaplers · 29/05/2013 12:22

I had 3 under 4 and I am not a particularly organised person. My strengths are in being fairly easy going and calm (on the surface!)
I wrote off the first 6 weeks (illness, snow, more illness, more snow) and just gave the DC activities to do in the house.

Luckily, DC3 is a really settled baby and has slotted right in. DD and DS1 play together now as well, which means I can put them in their room together while I bath/feed DS2. We currently do 2 mornings a week at different toddler groups and 3 mornings a week for the elder two to go to nursery. On top of that we attend two classes during the week, which is more than enough of a commitment!
DD is off to school in September, which is going to be very different (she is great fun to have around and keeps her younger brother in line!)
On the other hand, two children seems like a doddle by comparison.

Things are quite hectic and intense but they soon settle down. The hardest part is finding enough individual time with each of them but 4.5 months in and we've just about got that sorted :)
Good luck!

MiaowTheCat · 29/05/2013 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

li41lh · 29/05/2013 16:45

I work part time from home, so occasionally think I'll just continue...but I think 2 of them will be too much to get anything done. Trying to find a job that will pay enough to justify 2 in nursery is another matter!

it has been a struggle with DS teething, and needing more attention than before, plus morning sickness, plus work, plus all the usual cooking, cleaning etc etc.

Original poster
joanna1985 · 29/05/2013 21:38

Thanks guys I suppose ya just have to get on with it and I told my mum and dad and they made me feel alot better saying its brilliant having them
Close in age as they'll b able to play together and u get the whole baby thing out if the way quicker!

OP posts:
WhispersOfWickedness · 30/05/2013 08:20

I have 20 months between my two. It is absolutely fine and now they are three and nearly two, I am very glad I had a relatively small gap Smile The only trouble I had was that dc2 is very clingy, so I sometimes had at least one child crying as I couldn't attend to their needs Sad This would have been a bit easier if I had been able to put dc2 down or at least used a sling!
On the other hand, there are lots of advantages. Dc1 didn't start preschool until dc2 was nearly 1 so I didn't have the stress of a school run until I was an old hand at getting out in the morning with them both. Dc1 is only now starting to enjoy toys with small pieces, so I didn't have the stress of keeping small toys out of reach of the younger one as a baby, now she is older, she is unlikely to put them in her mouth. They play with a lot of the same toys, so I only need to have one set out at any one time. They are already quite close and look out for each other Smile I had the same experience with potty training as someone upthread. I spent a long six months training dc1 at the end of last year. This sparked dc2's interest, so we are now in the process of training her only 5 months later! It does feel like I am on an ongoing treadmill of potty training, but she is getting it far quicker than ds, due to six months of training by proxy, so at least we will get past the nappy stage quicker!

Gooders79 · 30/05/2013 10:30

We have a 20mo ds1 and a 5 week old ds2, I felt the same as op when i found out I was expecting again. I felt quite negative throughout the pregnancy towards the new baby, was just looking forward to the prospect of returning to work and having some time away from my slightly challenging ds1. I also felt guilty that ds1 was still so young and wanted to be able to prioritise him for longer. We had planned more children but a couple of years down the line and it was a complete surprise when I found out I was expecting, was 10 weeks when I got BFP and only bothered to do a test because of persistent nausea...

Now only 5 weeks in but ds1 is very sweet to ds2, he worries if the baby Is crying and took his milk and favourite teddy to the baby the other day when he was upset. It is challenging managing it when they both want or need your attention... I'm lucky that we have kept our nursery place 4 days a week for ds1, I'm dropping him off later and picking up earlier than I would when at work but it a least gives me a chance to spend some 1:1 time with baby and catch up on rest during the day if needed. Haven't had much opportunity for that so far though as we moved house when ds2 was 2 days old....

I do kee telling myself that thousands of others have done it before us and at least ds1 still having a good nap...

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