Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

Loving the babies chatting and 'looking forward' to the joys ahead
I won't be letting BabyPud on here to get any tips - she has quite enough ideas of her own!

We raided the Mothercare sale today then went for dinner locally. The first dinner out since she arrived (bar the curry house which doesn't count) and she screamed the entire time so DH and I each ate alone while the other walked, jiggled and shushed. We won't be doing that again in a hurry. I did however manage a successful feed in ikea car park and another in the restaurant - both helped my confidence!
Hope we all get some decent sleeps tonight

The baby talk has made me smile! What hasn't made me smile (quite beside the obvious with DH) is that DS seems to be waking every 2 hours again. I started weaning him this week so maybe that's it? He was also up at 5 this morning, so currently on 2nd strong coffee and hoping for a quietish day.

Can't believe baby KK is 6 months today - where has the time gone??

scarecrow I was going to give avocado a go toda y but your tale has made me rethink my plans sweet potato and butternut squash instead! Though this means me and him will be covered head to toe in orange goo......

Hi
Second coffee, 5th feed, washing out and feet up l
pudding re mother care sale [ flowers] re dinnerand big re bbreastfeeding. Feels great when it goes right doesn't it.

Nice while it lasted! !
kk think of you. Hope you're as ok as possible. Stay strong and hold your head high. Xx ( have you tried to loud music crazy baby dancing yet :) )
Bbd. How did all are lives become poo obsessed!!!!

Knicky, T has also been waking more. I wonder if he ( and your ds too) is filling up on purée pear so not taking as much fatty milk and therefore not full for long enough, so to speak. We are doing sweet potato today (made with home made salt free chicken stock - move over Mrs Oliver!) Have done butternut squash and carrot - orange poo fest!! Green beans next, if only to vary the colour :)
I remember vaguely last time that avocado can be mashed with banana, so thinking I might try that next time.

I had eight children in my house yesterday and the oldest was DD, who is 2 and 3/4 today. Do not recommend! DD was a total poppet for once and let the other toddlers riot around her.

Any luck with the ring yesterday?
Dh getting po about me being on phone. .. best go xxxx

Ps scarecrow your a legend.

Hello everyone, yet again I am horribly behind on the thread. Trying to keep up with a non-sleeping baby and a stupid amount of work and a house and just life is a bit of a struggle at the moment. Am at work both days this weekend and won't get to see BG before he goes to bed
So so sorry to hear of the DP difficulties, especially yours knicky. Thinking of you lots. What a tough row to have with two young children. I hope you have lots of support.
Bbd any luck on finding the stone? You describe your dad wonderfully and at least you have him in your heart, but I know that the loss of something so special is hard.
Hello to sparkly!
Pudding you are allowed to feel how you feel about the birth. Only you went through it, no matter how many people were in the room. With BG being prem and all, I really know what it's like to have your hopes dissolve - and it takes time to recover from that. But it does happen!
Rosie and eagle I love your stories! So vivid.
Scarecrow EIGHT toddlers????! You are an angel! And still writing coherent sentences, what a wonder.
Lrm good luck for returning to work on Monday. Dylan will be fine, he knows his mummy loves him and will be waiting for him at the end of the day.
Love the baby chat too... Oh hold on, BG wants a word.

Hello fellow babies. Good to hear that you are keeping the mums on their toes re sleep. It's so hard entertaining adults at night, isn't it!! I have done really well on this in the last few weeks though. I find yelling in my sleep really freaks both parents out and helps keep them up out of bed and amused. Then last night I decided to sleep through forthe first time ever in my life and I believe mum didn't sleep much as she was waiting for the yelling to start. Ha! I might try mixing it up a bit for a while.
Oh, and re food - you know to mush it into your hair, right? And get it all over your hand then lovingly plant said hand on mum's bum as she walks past, preferably so she doesn't know and goes to work with a perfect porridgy handprint on her black trousers.

Sorry to anyone I have missed. Am on phone on way home from work (a rather fabulous concert that was a singing exam). Hellos and waves to all.

Hi all
Another sleep deprived night. Feels like i fed her from midnight till 4 am in the bed got up at 4 and moved to lounge ( dh muttering) she did settle in her basket for a few hours and is having a lazy morning :)
Rosebud has found her face mussels and is obsessed with pulling the funniest faces. It's absolutely hilarious.Dh and have had houhours of fun laughing. She has dh eyes ( think tutumcarmon (??? ?Sp!!!) And has worked out how to open them super wide so her eyeballs look like they will pop out whilst wobbling her bottom lip in and out.

Hopefully everyone is having a lovely weekend. Lrm hope tomorrow goes well

Ok some advice please
When I got bfp it was a huge shock. No financial planning at all. My contact ended unexpectedly when i was 15 weeks. I havd been the main breadwinner earning about double dh salary. We are getting by but it's tough. All through the pregnancy i planned to go back to work when dd was 3 months. Tbh i didn't really think it through. Just wanted to get baby here safety then sort it out. So dd is just over 2 months and i can't let her out of my site for more than 5 mins with out feeling like my arm is missing. She's still so small and needs me so much. I don't want to leave here with anyone. I've reduced myself to tears just thinking about it. I worked bloody hard to achieve the positions i got and like what I do. I miss working. I'm finding it hard to imagine myself as a sahm again. (I went to uni when dd2 was 4)
Dh would love me to stay at home and is not overly supportive of me going back to work although he wouldnnever stop me ( unless he saw it as detrimental to dd)
How have those of you working and returning to work dealt with it. Should I just forget about it for a few more months ( and pay off credit cards later) the house problem has really thrown the spanner in the works
I'm rambling now so I'll stop
Dh has gone shopping alone again with a slightly more detailed list and instructions to call if unsure. I wonder what surprises I'll get this week. X

Rosie lovely, of course you dread it. We all do! Firstly every extra week or month will help so maybe ditch the idea of three months but aim for five? Or even four: that's her whole life again!

first, what will you do; will it be relatively easy to find work and can you work part time? What are the child care options locally- both on people and affordability?

if you cam work part time you will find that helps enormously.

Also remember the sooner you go hack perhaps the fewer hours you'll have to work if no great bills hanging over you.

Finally find childcare asap; find something where you can think 'yes I have leaving dd but I know she will be as well looked after, loved and nourished as possible without me' ( our cm is like that: she is a national treasure). That way you can separate your v natural grief at leaving her from any actual worry. Also my cm would say 4-5 mo is kindest time to leave them as less or no separation anxiety.

Also keep a mental list of why you work : eg ds will have a wonderful role model with a dm who enjoys and us confident in her work. That it allows her to have your dh as her df. And so on.

Finally it is and will be hard. I feel physically sick when I think of going back to work again. More even than last time when I had the possibility of another mat leave to console me. You will never miss her less but you will get q bit used to it, and dd will grow up with social skills, love from more people, and you will treasure your time with her even more.

((hug))

Just a quick hi and hugs. Thanks ladies for all your well wishes. feeling blue about leaving my little fella I know it will be good for him but soooo sad he will be scared tommorow wondering why I have left him. Bloody work sucks but plus side only part time and very little hassle.
Sending sleep fairy to everyone tonight. Baby monkey managed a 6 hour long session last night first time for weeks. Extra dust for baby goat. Xx

Good luck with work tomorrow LRM. Baby M will get used to seeing you when you get back from work. Time has gone so fast, hasn't it ? Will be thinking of you two.
Scarecrow, you are amazing, 8 LO at the same time, OMG !
Goat, hope you get some rest tonight, baby G is cheeky but so charming.
Rosie, agree with Scarecrow, find childcare you are comfortable with, it will help you to know that Rosebud is in good hands and well looked after while you are at work. Agree too with timing, 4/5 months is better than 8/12, no separation anxiety, and that does really help, for both Mum and Baby, it is hard when baby cries at drop off. She seems to be a happy soul, v glad she makes you laugh and forget a bit about your worries.

AFM, week end has been very difficult re relationship/communication (actually lack of communication), big argument, a bit fed up tbh. No luck with finding the stone either. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Poor you Goat - life sounds really hectic at the moment, and having to work this weekend too - that really sucks Hope you are back home now with your feet up?

Rosie I really sympathise with your dilemma as I'm in a fairly similar position. I do contract work and earn twice what DP does, plus the house is mine. I saved what I could while pregnant and worked pretty much every single day until 8 months pg. I always knew I would have to go back to work - partly to earn again and also to keep my place in the industry I'm in (too big a gap would mean I never worked again).

I always said I would take a year off at the very most, and so am looking to start the process of returning to work very soon (hence why DD is starting at nursery tomorrow). I'm fine about the nursery bit - it's only a half day a week to start with, and I'm really pleased I've found somewhere I like, but had slightly pinned my hopes on returning to work part time (if I could get a contract where I used to work, based on the fact that they knew me and would want to hire me again). Unfortunately, the structure has just changed there, and the work I do has been outsourced to another company and so I have to look on the open market and that means almost certainly full time work. On top of that, I don't have any close family nearby and DP is away most of the week so my support network is pretty weak. Plus the prospect of working F/T while DD is so young terrifies and upsets me so much!

So I'm afraid I really don't have any clear answers for you, but do know that finding childcare that I felt comfortable with has really helped, along with finding it before the pressures of finding a job were upon me. I second what Scarecrow said about waiting until DD is 4 or 5mo? I really understand the dilemma between SAHM or returning to a job you've worked so hard to get. I spent years in lowly-paid positions with constant debt and like you did a degree as a mature student and then never looked back. I wouldn't say I have my dream job, but it's a good living and I generally work with nice people.

I keep going through all the options - not go back to work and rack up huge debts and maybe take in lodgers, have DP as househusband (prob not a good idea), sell my house and downsize (something I would regret forever I'm sure) and so on. One option I do have though is to do a 6 month contract initially and then take more time off, although would be doing stop/start with childcare which would be really tricky.

What surprises did your DH come back with in the end? Reminds me of the husband on the Fast Show who used to come home with random shopping every time, saying 'even better than that, dear!' when asked if he'd bought a pint of milk or something

Everyone - pleased keep your fingers crossed for DD's settling-in day tomorrow. She's been a screaming, sh*tting nightmare the last few days (and was up virtually all of last night) so fear tomorrow's session will be very short!

LRM massive good luck.and hand holding tomorrow. Eagle too I think.

BBD no advice but special (hug) for dh and ring

Tried to get picture of my parents seven grandchildren today. Comedy. one single pic with them.all in as T needed feeding and as soon as I handed him to my dad DD (who would only wear her Fireman Sam pj top and knickers) ran off and hid in a corner saying "photos are not my favourite ANY-MORE" so we have a pic of the blurred head.of d d leaving and a small riot of children behind. Immediately after T brought up what looked like half a pint of milk on my dad's trousers he was supposed ro wear to a lunch party so in the rest of the pics DD is missing, dad is sulking and looks like he has wet himself mum is.trying to stiffly giggles and the children are variously looking sweet or have lost concentration. We'll I guess it's a record of life with children of 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 2, and "zero"

Eagleray, good luck for nursery tomorrow. Be strong. For baby Eagle. Hope you two have a good night sleep.

Sorry - totally forgot to say all the best of luck to LRM and Baby Monkey - thinking of you!

Scarecrow - never work with animals or children. And if you have to work with children (especially toddlers/babies), glue their feet down and bribe 'em. Photoshop will take care of the rest

Been meaning to tell you about a photography technique that works well with running children - will email you (and apologise in advance if you know how to do it already!)

OMG Scarecrow HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Sorry I remembered it was coming up a couple of days ago and along with everything else have forgotten again

Hope you had a lovely day!

Scarecrow happy birthday
I miss read your post slightly and thought it was your dad wearing fireman sam top and pants! !! Lol
Big hugs to those leaving little ones tomorrow. Interesting that 4/5 months is a good time. .. i have a couple of options work wise. Basically return to nursing (which is what I did at uni) and would prop find part time easy enough (or work agency) but would take dropIin salsalary and hate it. But know it's not forever and a means to an end. Or go back to hospitality management and have to work full time Long hhours lots of travelling expected. ..Writing it down is really
helping maybe a year part time nursing would be worth looking into? ????
Got to dash off as dd will want feed v soon and dishes not washed yet

Dd fed but i can't sleep. Grr i hate insomnia! !
You've all been so lovely with your responses . I suppose i never thought I'd love her like i do. I was happy to be giving dh the child he so desperately wanted. Once done i thought I'd be able to return to old life with baby as an add on. I've found a 'me' I'd forgotten. children are amazing.
in my last job i was responsible for 6 100+bedroom hotels (audits, refurbs, training, suppliers etc) before that I worked for locog. Looking after the accommodation side of the Olympic rowing village. (Which was amazing) now i struggle some days to look after a 1 bed flat and 1 tiny baby! !! Lol.
I had to turn down the contract for Glasgow 2014 ( they called me! !!) as it started in May. That would almost certainly of led to Reo 2016. still i believe 'what's meant for you doesn't go by you. Allah had a different plan for me.

Eagle dh is a legend. I have endless story's. He's done so many 'normal' things for the first time in the last 2 years. .. like put up an umbrella in the rain . dig the garden and plant flowers. ( which he watched grow every day and got really upset when the slugs , which he didn't know what they were, ate them all) Go to a supermarket. Use a bank account. Take a train, eat with knife and fork ( ok he had done this before but
naturally eats with bread and fingers) he also can't say
P and uses B instead Which has ccaused no end of
hilarious miss communications.( dh out car window to police man ' I want to bark. Where can i bark. )
Time to try sleep again.

Grrr pm not working on phone. Will reply tomorrow. Thank you. Xx

Good luck for today LRM and Eagle. BBD, sorry you've had a crap time with your DH - we're all here if you want to talk about it (or not, whatever you like ). Happy Birthday Scarecrow! Rosie, your DH's "barking" story make me smile.
All the talk of going back to work takes me back to when DS was a baby. I had to return to work full time when he was four months old. The plan was that my mum would look after him, but unfortunately just before, she fell and dislocated her elbow. DP managed to take a few days off a week and my employers were amazing and gave me compassionate leave for the other couple of days, temporarily. However, it soon became clear (like Rosie) that I just underestimated my feelings for my little boy and couldn't cope with being away from him or the nature of my work after having him (I worked in a prison doing groupwork with sex offenders). In addition, I was told that they were changing the programme we offered and so I'd have to go away for 2 weeks residential training, twice in a few months, and to my total embarrassment, I burst into tears in my treatment managers office. So that night, DP & I went through everything and managed to find a way that we could cope financially if I gave up work. I handed my notice in the next day, and for me, it was totally the right decision.

DP had the snip on Thurs so he's still recovering and he had a rotten cold so felt very sorry for himself. Rosa also caught his cold although she seems better now, but I've woken up with a very sore throat. At least DS is OK so far...

Happy Birthday scarecrow. I hope you had the wonderful relaxing day that you deserve.

Good luck to those starting nurseries. I echo what knotty says. Although, we weren't in a position for me to give up work, I changed my mind about how many days a week I'd put DD in nursery for when she was 10 months old. She was due in 3 days a week but we worked out we could manage (just about) if she only went in 2 days a week. Of course, now she's nearly 4, most days at nursery she asks to go in on the days she's at home - it's where all her friends are and the fun is

BBD hugs my lovely. It's tough going when things are strained between you and DH. I do hope you're able to get communications going. We're off to relate on Thursday. my DH came home yesterday and he couldn't do enough to help round the house. I truly believe he's sorry but we need to get to the root cause. I still love him and think for our children we have to give a reconciliation our best shot.

In the meantime, had a better night's sleep with DS, though he stirred from 4.30am onwards. More coffee today then....

Belated Happy Birthday Scarecrow !

Morning.
Thinking of you all as you drop your little one off
knotty kk thank you for your stories from further along. it's good to be reminded that this is a time that passes quickly and they grow up.

Dh asked this morning why i hadn't slept last night (as i complain all day I'm tired) i told him i was thinking about going back to work. He just laughed and said 'why we're doing ok
This is a great country and we'll never want for a roof
to sleep under or food to eat. You stay home and be
happy' I love his simple needs.

Oh and ladies rosebud will not be joining baby chat in future. Since speaking with your babies she has done a night poo and just now snuggle right underneath her big fluffy blanket in her basket (heart in mouth moment) lol that's the first time she's moved by herself

Happy belated birthday, Scarecrow!

Oh, the going back to work dilemma... I chose to go back "full" te in April as I am lucky and am allowed to work from home on Wednesdays. I don't, I have BG, but I make up for it by working evenings when he is in bed and a bit on weekends (hence have just spent most of this last one at work, that's unusual though). I really wish I could cut down, but DH cut his (through health necessity) so I really can't go down at all. I really really want time to do the things I want to do career-wise - I used to perform so much more, but just finding time to keep the practice up is almost impossible. And that's not because of BG, that's because of work! Is it possible to have life just as one would like it?...