Need to confess

[trinityrhino]

I buy my kids milkybars(so not boycotting nestle)
I drink when they are in bed
I shout at the biggest one sometimes
I have managed to create a shite bedtime routine for the baby
I buy tesco value and asda smartprice stuff
I was glad that dd2 weaned herself at 9 months
Sometimes I feel so angry when I'm tired I am ashamed of myself
I don't watch the news, cause it makes me cry
My baby sleeps in bed with me sometimes
I can't remeber the last time either of the kids had a bath regularly
I spend too much time on the puter
I smoke
I am addicted to books
I'm still on antidepressants

I obviously don't take enough time and effort to try and put the world to rights
BUT sometimes I just find it had enough to keep my kids happy and well and try to keep my marriage happy and myself sane

thanks fob and everyone fr making me feel better
I should look after my own before punishing myself for not looking after the whole world

Oh and dd1 is actually 6 whooops

here here!

Ok point taken, but you will notice that my original post was a question, just thought that maybe because a big deal is made of drinking coffee or having a fag whilst breast feeding that water may be the same?

Wasn't defending anyones actions, on the surface it sounds like a good thing to do. I understand now, and am sorry if that offended anyone.

Trinity, just want to join everyone else in agreeing you sound like a great person - will you be my friend? My dd is a bit young for the milkybars (only 12 weeks!), but I am with you on pretty much everything else - and I sometimes have a drink before dd goes to bed!!

Oh, and I smoke, and I know I shouldn't , but I dindn't during the pregnancy, and I don't smoke in the house or when I am with dd (pathetic attempt to justify it to myself as " not that bad then"!)

Sometimes i get that feeling on Mumsnet too, that i'm doing things wrong and am not good enough! Then i remind myself that people lie

I am sorry, Xavielli, my post was a bit snide and I apologise. I hope the link helped :)

Link was really enlightening! Thankyou for posting it!

Would like to grab hold of whoever told that poor lady she couldnt BF two babies at once and stamp on them!!!!!!!!!

its a bit like internet dating on here. you can only go on the words written. you only have to look at the reponse to trinity confession to see how imprefect we all are and hey our children are fit, health and loved who cares about the dust, washing and the easy route!:)

Aw Trinity, please don't give yourself a hard time, I'm with most others on this thread in that most of your list applies to me too!!

You said yourself that your kids are well loved and happy, that means so much more than an immaculate home. I once read in a magazine 'doing the chores when children are growing is like shovelling snow when it's still snowing' - I bear that in mind most days

I also read a poem - something about settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm holding my baby, and babies don't keep' (sorry that's the only part I can remember) I use that one to justify not doing the housework!!

Just typed the begining of the poem into google and came up with a web ste for it www.thriftfun.com. sounds a lovely and very apt poem for this thread

don't think it's on purpose but the picture built up on mn isn't complete - for example i tend only to post when something has happened to me or a thread triggers me so my mn picture is of a civil servant camper with a lot of gyny probs. not sure that's how my rl friends would describe me...god maybe it is?

thanks nicnack2, heres the \link{http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf24426213.tip.html\link} to the poem, theres another on there that's quite nice too.

I have "I hope my children look back on today..." on my bedroom wall. I sometmes glance at it as I race from one job to another .. and occasionally I drop everything and do go do something with the kids instead. Not often enough though.

Gosh, Trinity, I was happy when my son weaned himself at six months ( I hate breastfeeding, so sue me) My son is still co sleeping with me at age 2. I shop only at Tesco's. I shout at my kids all the time. I am sure I have bought Nestle products sometimes. I don't recycle at all.

All the things you do sound perfectly normal to me. Don't get in a bate over nothing. Or perhaps give up the Milkybars, if they really worry you.

Gosh, Trinity, I was happy when my son weaned himself at six months ( I hate breastfeeding, so sue me) My son is still co sleeping with me at age 2. I shop only at Tesco's. I shout at my kids all the time. I am sure I have bought Nestle products sometimes. I don't recycle at all.

All the things you do sound perfectly normal to me. Don't get in a bate over nothing. Or perhaps give up the Milkybars, if they really worry you.

Trinity - sounds to me like you are doing a fab job! I try not to buy Nestle, try to recycle, try not to shout at the kids, try to spend quality time with them, try to have a clean house, try to keep up with my friends and acquaintances......

and then I beat myself over the head with a bog stick when I fail resoundingly most of the time.

Mostly I know that I am doing the best job of this parenting lark that I can

Don't feel gulity about wine after the kids are in bed, or getting engrossed with a good book - we all need little treats. Have you considered joining a book group? Ours doesn't cost a lot,, we share the books round, and usually have a takeaway or cheese and wine at each others's houses when we discuss the book. Might give you a bit more me time!

My aunt used to have a theory that 'good enough' parenting was all that kids needed. Any more just added to the pressure they felt!

err big stick that is!

Anyway you sound perfectly normal

trinityrhino, I do at least half those things - but the point is: why do you think they're bd things? They're not (apart from the smoking and that's not a judgement, it's bad in that it's bad for you btu you know that).

I can't do the Nestle thing full-time - it's too big. They own nearly every company that makes anything in the western world (it feels like). I try but need a packet of maltesers sometimes.

I drink when ds is in bed and when he's not.

I shouted this morning.

Bedtime routines can be changed.

I don't go to Tescos or Asda and I like to think I wouldn't even if they were nearlby but the truth is they are miles away from me. I am ded cheap though.

9 months b/f is fabulous.

I completely identify with the bit about being tired/angry/ashamed.

I haven't watched a full news bulletin since ds was tiny for exactly the same reason. I am woefully incapable of having a conversation about current affairs.

Babies like sleeping with their parents and there are all sorts of advantages.

Pah! Baths are optional - we manage about twice a week atm (and hair washes about once every fortnight).

I spend hours ont he computer

Am so bad at sitting down with a book and am envious of the fact that you can!!

xxP

TrinityRhino - I'm one of those often seen on any discussion about boycotting and various political threads, and honestly, the idea that a woman on a parenting site where we are here to support each other might feel guilty not to take part is as upsetting to me as the wider things in the world. YOU matter, the fact that you 'sometimes feel so ashamed' matters, and the time you take to look after your kids is the most important thing you can do.
You've got young kids, and they sound delightful, you have a baby, you sound as if life is getting you down...be proud that you are keeping your kids happy enough, well and in a secure home.

XXXX

I love the poems, but I am going to print out this thread and put it on my wall for when I am beating myself with that bloody big stick. Thanks for making me feel wonderfully normal!

thnks guys

I am feeling down at the mo but geting help so trying to look forward

Phew, what a thread - why do we do this to ourselves? I do a lot of this stuff too and more. Milkybars are ok - I drink when the kids are in bed and sometimes I have a spliff! I shout at all of them and consider it a great achievement if I've put them to bed without shouting all day. Routines work but are hard to put into action, if baby happy, who cares. I buy cheap stuff, all three of my babies weaned at 3 -4 months, so you beat me. I'm always ashamed and guilt is my middle name, I don't watch the news, but listen to Radio 4 when I'm making the kids tea ( partly to drown out their noise). All mine slept with me sometimes and still do (6,4 &3) It's not good for their skin to bath them too often (my 6 year old likes showers). I read too many mags. At the weekend we lie in and leave the kids watching TV eating cereal bars til 9.30 - 10. BUT are the kids happy - yes, do we have a good laugh most days - yes, do I have a happy marriage - oh yes and we all 5 of us KNOW we are loved. Whats to worry about? - still do though and thats what makes us great mums.