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Parenting

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Original poster

OK, so twice in the last couple of weeks I've been reminded why I don't like putting young babies into routines

105 replies

hunkercaribou · 17/05/2006 13:07

Twice, I have seen babies screaming for a feed and their mothers "trying to make them wait for it" because "it's not time for a feed yet".

[heart breaks]

What would you do in this situation?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Thiswomanswork · 17/05/2006 19:45

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SoupDragon · 17/05/2006 20:08

Um... HM didn't say nor insinuate that the fact that they were bottle fed made them unloved and not nurtured.

kiskidee · 17/05/2006 20:11

uuum, now where is that balll......

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fob · 17/05/2006 20:19

thats a really unfair post tww.
hunker is not making judgement on parenting skills, merely commenting on what can be an uncomfortable situation to be in.
i couldn't agree with hc carrier more - a babies wants and needs are basically the same in the first year. they are not capable of wrapping an adult round thier little finger. i find these comments cynical.
i b/f on demand also, and never leave my 8m ds to cry - and guess what - he is neither clingy or demanding, but in fact a happy, funny little boy.
however - each baby is different, but all babies need cuddles and attention at such a young age. my god, it's the most natural thing in the world........................sheesh!

Thiswomanswork · 17/05/2006 20:32

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fob · 17/05/2006 20:45

surely a mothers instict is the most powerful thing going - not setting your babys' needs by the clock?

Caligula · 17/05/2006 20:46

Good lord how ott. Hunker hasn't said they were denied love or attention. She's just complained about the clockwatching thing. What d'you want, every single post to be caveated with "Well of course, I'm not passing judgement on other mothers, everyone's got the right to do it whatever way they choose, but I don't like it because..."

Because if so, it would be very irritating (and long). I think we all sort of assume that in RL, none of us are mad enough to be going around actually commenting about all the things everyone else does which we don't like, but that's what mumsnet is for, isn't it? Somewhere we can come out with the stuff that's been bugging us for hours or days...

dinosaure · 17/05/2006 20:46

God, hunker. Why on earth are you friends with these women?

Thiswomanswork · 17/05/2006 20:49

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SoupDragon · 17/05/2006 20:50

But she does know; isn't "when the mother is rocking her crying baby in the car seat, looking at her watch and saying "I can't feed you yet, it's not time" " denying them??

edam · 17/05/2006 20:54

I don't think it's sanctimonious to feel sorry for a crying baby - especially who is being told by an adult 'it's not time for a feed yet'. What a bizarre world we live in where books and experts try to make us deny our tiny, helpless, babies food, comfort and reassurance. Four hourly feeds aren't natural, they were merely the fad when our MILs were young.

I saw an elderly woman being interviewed for a documentary once. Back in the 40s (I think) her husband had insisted they follow Truby King, the original 'routine' expert. Who also believed in leaving babies outside to cry 'to exercise their lungs'. Her poor baby developed pneumonia and died. (Being chilled does make you more susceptible to colds and chest infections.) She was crying as she told this story, decades later.

Ledodgyherring · 17/05/2006 20:56

TWW I don't think you're being fair to Hunker she simply started a thread asking what others would do in this situation and I can't see anything wrong with that. I bottlefeed my ds (not that that what this thread is even about) and I assume when he cries he needs something whether that be a bottle, cuddles or whatever so leaving him to cry because I feel I should feed him a bit later is not an option, God i don't have my lunch at exactly the same minute everyday so why should babies? This it seems to me is all Hunker is querying and TWW I don't understand why you seem to be personally attacking her.

fob · 17/05/2006 20:56

Is this some sort of personal attack on Hunker?
You certainly have a point about Mums making up thier own minds - that much is obvious - but you sound so bloody angry! You obviously wouldn't leave a baby to cry if it was hungry - why is that? I assume it's because you agree that the baby needs tending to - so what's yr beef?!

alex8 · 17/05/2006 20:58

Maybe they read the bit in the Miriam Stippard book that said you should never over-feed a formua fed baby. She then went on to say that it would lay down fat stores that the child would have for lifes, never be able to shift and would be a fat adult which would be both unhealthy and embarrassing. It was one of the most horrible things I ever read in a baby book. (never read that book though).

Caligula · 17/05/2006 21:02

Blimey Miriam Stoppard's a bit OTT isn't she? I know FF babies are more likely to be obese than BF ones, but that's a bit of a loony scaremongering thing to say. I always thought she was just boring, now I know why she was controversial!

beansontoast · 17/05/2006 21:04

im so ambivalent aout this one....

i know two perfectly adorable good natured sweety little happy lovely secure,confident (all subjective terms i know) kids who were "raised by the book"....(with me looking on curious as ...well very curious as to what all this book stuff was about)

and yet my little fella was demand fed ...'used me as a dummy' etc ...because i just cant listen to my tiny one cry...hungry or not let em suck.

tangent.
sucking helps other stuff too ...like clearing eustachean tubes or something.

on balance id leave them to it...probably.

alex8 · 17/05/2006 21:05

It was one of the things that kept me breastfeeding though as I know I used it to stop him crying and got scared that I may not be able to do that with formula! My nct group were all on very strict routines; one baby dropped to the 2nd percentile cos it was so hungry!

hunkercaribou · 17/05/2006 21:07

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FrannytheGazelle · 17/05/2006 21:08

I think that was fairly reasoned, tbh, hunker

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Original poster

hunkercaribou · 17/05/2006 21:09

Don't worry, FtG, I shall.

Some people just have to see my name, it seems, and it sends them all twitchy.

Ho hum.

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beansontoast · 17/05/2006 21:11

yeah alex8...i remember thinking that my boobs were th esum total of allmy mothering skills

Caligula · 17/05/2006 21:13

tbh I think mine were, for the first 3 months or so...

FrannytheGazelle · 17/05/2006 21:15

It's probably your ruddy great horns that unsettle them, hunker

happybebe · 17/05/2006 21:17

actually apparently there is some evidence to suggest that cluster feeding either by BF or FF can cause colic. apparently babies need roughly 3 hours to digest a full BF and 3 and a half for FF, just something i read somewhere, however i BF my baby for two months and at one stage she was feeding every hour! never had colic though...

Original poster

hunkercaribou · 17/05/2006 21:18

You mean there's something other than boobs I'm meant to be using for mothering?!

FtG, you're right, it must be because I'm horny. Hang on...that sounds wrong...

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