Muuuum! Where do babies come from?

[Kia]

I thought it might be fun to discuss what you were told by your parents and what you have told your children! For us the crisis point was 'and how does the seed get into mummy's tummy?' Over to you!!

I remember very clearly reading a book about the facts of life at the library, and thinking "ugh, I could never do THAT". Also later seeing a photo of an erection in a biology textbook at school and spending that evening at a classical music concert unable to think of anything except that every one of the men on stage had one of those!

Yes! We thought we'd got away with it with our dd, "daddy has a seed and mummy has an egg, they mix together and grow into a baby" (it helped that she was present at the birth of her sister). But then a few weeks later, the question came, as Kia says "how does daddy get the seed into mummy's tummy". I was v v happy that it was dh who she asked, and not me! He gave her the facts in as simple a way as possible, basically talking about bottoms and willys. I really don't believe in making up fairy stories, but the in-depth biological facts are a bit much for a 5 yr-old!
The most recent questions we've had from dd are along the lines of "Will the world ever stop?" (ie will all humans ever die?) and asking for explanations of evolution. No-one warned me about this

Azzie - don't forget the Queen did it FOUR TIMES!!!

I reckon everyone should get a copy of Babette Cole's "Mummy Laid An Egg". The double spread on "these are some of the ways mummies and daddies fit together" is absolutely hilarious.

candy - does it show you lots of different positions? Could be just the 'tonic' me and dh are looking for, nevermind the kids!

dd was asking about where babies come from, must have been a year or two ago now. I went through the usual seed thing, when I'd finished she asked so do men and women have to 'do sex'? Bearing in mind that she was only 5 or 6 at the time, I'm sure you can guess how gobsmacked I was. When I told her that you do have to 'do sex', her reply was urghhhh I'm NEVER having babies!

Yes, my brother couldn't speak to my mum for some time when he realised she'd done IT four times!! Just imagine it - your parents having sex - eeew!

message withdrawn

I remember being at a friends house a while ago, and since one of our other friends was pregnant the subject of 'where do babies come from' had been discussed with their 5 year old prior to all the guests arrivals, as she was extremely excited about it all and had been asking questions.
When we arrived, the 5 year old burst into the room and proudly declared to the parents to be, "I know where babies come from! Have you had sex?"
Unable to hide his smile, the husband said, "yes, - but only once..."

I am led to believe that one can buy pop-up books for children on this very subject!! The ones I've seen are definitely top shelf stuff!!! Why is it that we find it extraordinarily easy to discuss quite intimate things with other adults, but the moment a 4 year old comes to you for what my dear mama used to call the 'facts of life' discussion, we go all weak and wobbly?! I mean - the stork? the cabbage patch? or the supermarket? Why can't we just say your father and I had sex, this this and this happens, do you want marmite on your toast?!!

My mother took me out several times in her car to have the discussion in private, and she never got round to it at all! Every time we came back my Dad would say 'did she tell you yet?' and I'd have to say no, we'd laugh and carry on since he had done the needful some years beforehand when I came to him with the seed dilema!!

My mum never told me, when I asked her what a virgin was she just replied "The Virgin Mary and that's all you need to know!" I found a book in my sister's bedroom that had pictures in, but for a long time I thought that the man weed in the woman. Later on my best friend gave me a little red book that had all the facts of life in it, that was a real eye-opener!

I think honesty is the best key, but I would be wary of telling them too much when they are too young, let them enjoy their innocence without having nightmares about men's willies!

Hijacking this one a bit, my daughter has started asking "Who made God?" and "Where do you go when you die?". Pretty tricky, when you're an atheist, to not sound brutal - particularly when I copped out a few years ago, explaining that her dead granddad was with the angels!!! She also thinks heaven is in the loft - not got that one from me. It's got horribly complicated!

Thats definitely the trick isn't it - how far to go in what you tell them. I must admit I cant ever remember thinking it had anything to do with weeing1 No imagination, I suppose! I remember being absolutely shocked to the core when someone explained what 'golden showers' meant! Everyone had a very good laugh at the expression on my face for days afterwards!

I haven't had many God questions from my two who are now teens. My daughters classmates are a quite wide mixture cultural mix and she doesn't seem to have any questions like 'Does God have a double bed for the rest day?' that her brother came out with! Or, 'Look at that man in the purple dress' when we saw our local bishop at the airport one day!

LisaV, your virgin story reminds me of one my mum told me about her friend. This happened back in the Second World War. Marjory, aged about 18, went out with a chap and at the end of the evening he asked her if she was a virgin. She said no, and he started getting up to 'funny business'. Marjory objected vocally and he asked her again if she was a virgin. Same answer - no. He realised something odd was going on and asked her if she knew what a virgin was. "Of course I do." said Marjory, "It's a girl who's only had one baby."!!! Her mum had told her nothing whatsoever about the 'facts of life' and she'd had to come to her own conclusions. Luckily, the boy was really decent and spent the rest of the evening giving her a lesson in human reproduction.

message withdrawn

My mum and dad didnt tell us anything, I learnt from school. Im still pretty naive and shy about the whole subject. Dh was given a video to watch and is really upfront and thinks about it as part of life, which I suppose is true. I will try my best to tell our child/ren, but I think dh will be doing the job, he will make it an easy, unembarrassing chat Im sure.

You could always try "what do you think dear?" when they ask awkward questions. And then say that's right. Funny how it always seems to be the girls that are so interested. R

I don't remember ever being told anything by either of my parents but I do remember a stage when I knew where the mans willy went but couldn't work out how! The thing is, I knew that willys hung downwards and so had thought up a complicated position which would involve the two people's heads being at opposite ends of the bed with one person turned round slightly, legs in each others' faces...it seemed the only way that the two relevant parts could meet! Couldn't see what would be enjoyable about it!

message withdrawn

When I was about 8 my parents gave me a book about cats which not only had pictures of different breeds and how to look after them but covered the whole reproduction thing - pictures of sperm, eggs and dividing cells up to the birth of kittens. I loved the book and even used it as a base for a project at primary school (carefully copying those pictures of sperm - oh my gosh, what did the teacher think!).
It was a very natural way to discover about reproduction, the 'human' angle was a natural progression which I learnt about so gradually I can't actually remember the occasion.
It was years later - when my (adult) brother said something innocent and my mum laughed 'Oh, we'll have to get you a book about cats', that I realised the book had been a ploy.

I was told nothing as a child. As an adult I am still learning! Sorry to be coarse here but perhaps someone can enlighten me with this one!

With regard to homosexual men, they seem to split themselves into 'givers and takers', sorry to be so gross but how do they know who does what when they're out on the town?

My mother told me that I was born through a hole between her legs. For a long long time I thought I cam out somewhere near her knees!!

When my nan started her periods, she had never been told about the facts of life and was actually thinking she was going to bleed to death.

Whenever I asked a question as a young child, I was given an honest answer and I am doing the same for my children (girl of 9, boy of nearly 5 and baby of 3 months).

One funny thing happened just after my daughter was born 3 months ago - I was in the toilet and my son walked into the bathroom. We have a fairly 'open' household.

When I came home from hospital after having my new baby, he liked to have "important jobs" to do like getting a nappy, clean babygro, clean breastpads, etc.

When he came into the bathroom on this particular day, he asked me "why I had a breastpad in my knickers".

The only thing I can add to the gays out on the razz debate is that I was once told by a gay colleague that leaving the top button undone on his flies was a sign he was available. This, after me as a mumsy sort told him his flies were undone - completely oblivious to the fact that everyone else knew he was gay!!

Yes, the golden showers shook me too - it makes you wonder how did someone find that out - that it was a turn on for them? sorry!

There's a restaurant near me called The Golden Stream!