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Original poster

do you have funny "principles"?

75 replies

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 03/05/2006 20:10

that are actually pathetic attempts to assuage your overall guilt about your lack of parenting prowess? I was thinking about dds' upcoming birthdays. Every year so far (5 for dd1 3 for dd2) I have made their birthday cakes. I come from a family where food was always home-made and bought cakes were considered devil's work, a waste of money, and generally lacking in wholesomeness and flavour. (now that we've all left home mum contents herself with making cakes for WI events and stocking up the freezer for our visits - you get the picture). I could never reach my mother's dizzy maternal now grandmotherly standards but 5 years ago I decided birthday cakes were non-negotiable. A random choice, but something I felt I could do. I wondered if anyone else does this and if so what about and why?

OP posts:

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picnikel · 03/05/2006 20:13

Dd only gets lovingly made home cooked food made from mainly organic ingredients - it makes me feel better about my miserable failure to breast feed her for any length of time!

Littlefish · 03/05/2006 20:17

Snap Picknikel - the guilt lives on. DD is 17 months old and has only ever eaten organic, home cooked food. I gave her some chocolate on Easter day for the 2nd time in her life and she spat it out!!!

picnikel · 03/05/2006 20:18

Hope it was green & blacks !!

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PanicPants · 03/05/2006 20:20

Snap both of you! I think the home cooked food is definitly a quilt thing over stopping bf s early.
Ds spat out chocolate at easter too!

Elf1981 · 03/05/2006 20:24

I have vowed that dd will always have a birthday party as I never had one when I was growing up (shared my bday with my mum and we'd always go on holiday the day before, so I'd wake up in Cornwall at my birthday but when you're six, it isn't as special as a party!)

SenoraPostrophe · 03/05/2006 20:25

ahh, twwtswah - that's very funny and also quite sad.

in answer to your question though, errrm, no.

CHICagoMUM · 03/05/2006 20:28

I vowed that I would be alot more relaxed about tidiness than my mother was (not cleanliness mind you) as she was/is anally houseproud and that doesn't mix well with children (also a good excuse to get out of housework ).

SenoraPostrophe · 03/05/2006 20:30

mind you, maybe I found it funny and sad because I can't remember having a home made cake after about my 8th birthday. they were brilliant before that. dd wants a cake that is pink on the inside and purple on the outside this year. I imagine I'll have to make that.

SenoraPostrophe · 03/05/2006 20:30

not cleanliness in that your mother was relaxed about it or you aren't?

CHICagoMUM · 03/05/2006 21:12

Mother - anal about cleanliness, tidiness, politeness and any other ess's you can think of (love her to bits but she is a bit "Stepford"). I do cleanliness, but rather sloppy on tidy (due to lack of space and 2 small children - and an addiction to mn of course ).

cod · 03/05/2006 21:24

psml lol abotu the chocolate
fgs this wont turn into a smug fest w ill it?

Lact8 · 03/05/2006 21:42

I have principles until about 9.30 am each morning and then I think 'Oh F*ck this' if having a Viscount biscuit and watching cbeebies means that you will stop yelling Mummmeeeeee at me for 10 minutes and I'll be able to wash clothes/dishes/me then I'll willingly sacrifice the rule of chocolate is only for a special treat.

And I don't feel guilty about it either

Hallgerda · 03/05/2006 21:49

There's nothing pathetic about a preference for homemade birthday cakes. They are nicer. Admit it - you make them because party guests don't actually eat birthday cake, so there's quite a bit left over that parents have to consume, and it's better for you if it's actually palatable.

WelshBoris · 03/05/2006 21:53

Birthdays are a special occasion, good on you for making the effort. I know you didnt want this thread to turn into a "lets pat you on the backfest" but it's a tradition that is well worth keeping up.

Hope dd enjoys her birthday
(and if its chocolate cake Ill have a slice please)

MissChief · 03/05/2006 21:54

shockingly un-anal about cleanliness but almost obsessive about home-made stuff (yes, all has to be so for birthday parties etc)..also organic everything to make up for being impatient and unwilling to play with ds1 much

wannaBe1974 · 04/05/2006 14:19

birthdays are definitely a special occasion and I always make them special for ds because I never had a birthday party when I was little, and when I turned 5 I went to boarding school so was never at home for my birthday.

wishfulthinking · 04/05/2006 15:29

I have yet to make a birthday cake for dd (now 2.2) but have made a mental note to make them from next year's birthday onwards, along with all the other lovely party food I remember my mum making for me and my twin brother......laid out on my dad's wall papering table (with a table cloth of course!) ....happy days....mmmm

FrayedKnot · 04/05/2006 15:36

At the breakfast table on Saturday.

DH offers DS some of his Tropical Fruit Crunchy Cereal.

Me "Could you not give DS that please, he's only supposed to be having cereal without added sugar, and if you give him that, he'll always want it"
DH "FGS, he's eating toast with marmelade on. What do you think marmelade has in it?"

That's how totally pathetic my principles are.

babyonboard · 05/05/2006 14:15

I have a big thing about eating together..which means i'll eat lunch even if I don't want it when ds is due his..
we sit at the table and i 'chat' with him (he's only5 1/2months)

same for our evening meal..we have our starter with ds then bath him, put him to bed and then have 'grown up' dinner with just me and dp together..

Jessajam · 05/05/2006 14:27

DS is only 8 mo so I still have a few naive principles left to be destroyed! Mind you I have failed on my "no formula" principle and my "no hideous plasticky toys with multi coloured bits will ever make my lounge look like a branch of ToysRus " principle (although in fairmess to me 80% of offending articles were gifts!)

geekgrrl · 05/05/2006 14:31

I'm v. strongly principled about TV & music - dd will be 7 this year and still watches CBeebies ok- sometimes a bit of CBBC, but it must be appropriate!
Was shocked when her cousin (same age as dd) came over at the weekend and was singing some song about "being a love machine going all night long" - dd just sings Wiggles songs. Sheltered life here!

MrsBadger · 05/05/2006 14:40

babyonboard, am v impressed you have a starter as part of dinner every night!

[skulks away to unsophisticated plate of lasagne]

sugarfree · 05/05/2006 15:00

I am in awe of Babyonboard

Do you put a dress on and refresh your lipstick too?

cod · 05/05/2006 15:01

yes btu ocmoe on he is only 5 and ahlf months
so she will soon get hakced off hwen he lbs food at her and then rubs it in her hair when she is on the floor trying to pick it up

cod · 05/05/2006 15:01

lobs

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