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Parenting

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Original poster

When did you want no. 2?

30 replies

ivanapoo · 14/02/2013 22:34

Just curious really - just had my first and can't imagine having another. Both for emotional and practical reasons. But I know v few people who only have one child out of choice.

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MrsMarigold · 14/02/2013 22:35

after 6 months

stargirl1701 · 14/02/2013 22:37

After 1 hour.

BikeRunSki · 14/02/2013 22:37

Me - 6 months
DH - was finally swayed after 2y 4 months.

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AThingInYourLife · 14/02/2013 22:38

After a year.

MySonIsMyWorld · 14/02/2013 23:17

i wanted another straight away because i loved ds so much BUT i do want a 6+ year gap - but its not going to happen like how i wanted for me because dp has left us again...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 15/02/2013 10:36

Sorry to hear that myson

DS was totally exhausting but I knew I wanted another and didn't want a big gap. Both me and DH have big gaps with our sibling and while we love them, we aren't really that close.

We tried to have a 2 year gap but had various troubles along the way and ended up with a 3 year age gap. It's lovely. They are both very close and DS was starting preschool when dd arrived so I got some me and baby time.

HeadFairy · 15/02/2013 10:38

Ds was approaching his first birthday (he was 10 months) when I finally talked dh round to trying for number 2. He wasn't keen. I'd made my mind up when ds was about 6 weeks old :o

Disclaimer: I wasn't nagging dh for 8 months... we discussed it during our summer holiday, it was the first time I'd mentioned to him.

HeadFairy · 15/02/2013 10:40

Sorry, should have added - in the end, after two mcs dd was born when ds was 2.3. Hard work for the first year, but really paying dividends now. They're lovely together when they're not bickering

GaryBuseysTeeth · 15/02/2013 10:40

Sorry to hear that myson
We wanted another one straight away & felt ready to try when DS was 3 months, took 10 months & a mc to get pg so we're looking at a 20 month ago gap (fingers crossed).

Flisspaps · 15/02/2013 10:48

When DD was 14mo and had slept through for a week.

Tolly81 · 15/02/2013 11:30

I wanted a small age gap before I got pg (2yr or less) but hated being pg and had a horrid pregnancy so aiming for about 2.5 yr age gap as that would fit in best with my work and can't face TTC before she's 18 mo + anyway. At the moment I don't feel like having another at all (dd is 9m) but I would like her to have siblings. She is a lovely jolly baby and not high maintenance - think is she had been I wouldn't even be contemplating another!

rrreow · 15/02/2013 13:45

I knew I wanted another one straightaway (I literally said that about 5 minutes after the birth "that wasn't so bad not to do it again" not sure why because it was by no means pain free!), but practically and emotionally didn't feel ready until DS was about 14 months. Expecting DS2 in June when DS1 will be 25 months.

Original poster

ivanapoo · 15/02/2013 15:04

I feel like I'm happy with just my DS, he's lovely and fairly easy so far. Another child would put pressure on us financially - i would definitely have to go back to work full time - and I'd rather bring up one child well than two or more with mediocrity (not saying parents with more than one kid are mediocre just that's how I personally feel I might be).

But I'm only 8 weeks in so I'm guessing things might change! And it would be nice for him to know what it's like to have a sibling.

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paperclips · 15/02/2013 17:50

I always wanted 2 children. Straight after the birth remember thinking I just couldn't imagine doing it again, but even in those difficult first few weeks I knew I wanted to.

Now DS is nearly 5 months and so gorgeous. I think about it a lot. I had an easy pregnancy, I loved being pregnant. I love being a Mum. I love it. Babies are just great. I would hate to get pregnant less than a year after having him though. I'd like to carry on breastfeeding till ds is around 10 months to a year, and i want a bit of time of drinking wine having my body to myself again, and being back at work, before i get pregnant

I'd like roughly 2 years between children. Which would mean getting pregnant at the end of this year. However I probably have to do a course at work next january, finishing in summer and I don't want to do that while pregnant, and with a toddler- too stressful, so would maybe wait a bit.

If we were younger and money was no object, I'd have loads of kids more than two.

AScorpionPitForMimes · 15/02/2013 21:20

I was talking about 'When we have our next baby' to DH in the immediate aftermath of a very difficult delivery after which I had a PPH. So I'm mad.

We both agreed to go for a two-year-ish gap, were more or less planning on 2.5 because it took us a while to conceive DD1 and then ended up having them 2 yrs 15 days apart.

Went back to work f/t after 6 months both times due to shorter mat leave back then and the cost of childcare was horrendous even then (now we would not have been able to afford a second DC), spent about 5 years being utterly broke but with the lovely DCs we wanted.

Pinkflipflop · 15/02/2013 22:10

My ds is 2 weeks and I wanted another one the day he was born!

I went from wanting none to one to two in the blink of an eye!

DoNotDisturb · 15/02/2013 22:17

I get broody hours after birth but am not fertile for over a year due to breastfeeding

Bonners · 15/02/2013 22:29

DS is 2.5 and I'm swithering about it. sometimes I really want another one because I love DS so much and would love to try for a girl. mostly, I'm so knackered and at the end of my tether that I'm not sure I could cope with a newborn and a toddler. DS was a nightmare with reflux, colic and thrush (him and me) and cried from 5 pm to 12 pm every night for 3 months on top of unsettled naps and epic night feeds. DH is adamant never to do it again now that DS is settled and just sooooo lovely(most of the time).
TBH I think we missed our window. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of free time and sleep and can't imagine going back.
it still makes me sad that he won't have a sibling because I have such a great relationship with my sister but DH can't see it since he doesn't have a good relationship with his brother.
Most evidence points to more than one child being bad for general happiness in spouses and that only children are happier.... dunno about that one.

DontCallMeBaby · 15/02/2013 22:42

Never. Not even for a moment. Did consider a second, but never actually wanted one.

MumofWombat · 16/02/2013 01:00

DS was in neonatal ICU for 3 weeks when he was born. I can remember sitting by his side, turning to my husband and saying 'even with all this, I'm not done. I want another child'. We waited over a year to start trying and am now due in 7 weeks.

AnathemaDevice · 16/02/2013 13:45

I knew straight away that I wanted more- I was talking about 'next time' in the car on the way home from hospital after DS1 was born.

I knew I wanted quite a small age gap too, before I got used to sleeping/having a life again. There's 22 months between DS1 and DD, and 23 months between DD and DS2. I know I'm finished now. I have no desire to be pregnant or go through labour again, which is completely different to how I felt after the first 2- with them I'd have had another immediately.

MB34 · 16/02/2013 14:19

DS is 3 months old and before he was born there was no I was having another one as I hated being pregnant.

Two weeks after he was born I was talking about having another one! I would like a small gap of 1-1.5 yrs but as I'm bf'ing I don't know when I'll be ovulating again!

Snowfedup · 16/02/2013 14:59

I was never having another after ds1 he was hard work but when he turned 3 I felt I wanted him to have a sibling (also had forgotten the hard work of first months I think) plus fuom 2 1/2 onwards he has been such a joy !

Ds2 is almost 8 weeks and to be honest I have really been struggling again! I really hope another few months and I will be happier with my decision

GraceSpeaker · 16/02/2013 18:25

ivanapoo, I've just had my first as well and feel exactly the same! Straightforward pregnancy, but never in love with being preggers like some people seem to be. Very medicalised and slightly complicated birth, although I've recovered quite quickly considering. Absolutely determined that DD will be our only one at this point, but worried that this is selfish... My DH is an only child and seems to have turned out alright! I agree that there seem to be very few voluntary parents of one child about (and certainly on here!). I can't bear the thought of another round of interrupted nights and a crying newborn, lovely though DD mostly is.

Figgygal · 16/02/2013 18:27

After a year but now he's 13mo and teething never again!!!!!!

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