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Parenting

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Original poster

I feel like a bad parent for having lay-ins everyday

35 replies

ineedaspartame · 04/02/2013 13:38

My daughter is 3 months old and she is my only child. She will sleep in every morning until about 10.30am and I am getting up at this time as well. Sometimes I will pop her dummy in her mouth and she will wake-up at 11am. Am I bad Mum for getting up this late? I suffer from a bit of chronic fatigue and can get up early if I have a serious reason to but I really have to drag myself. My daughter falls asleep about midnight and I take about an hour to fall asleep. It's just that most Mums I know seem to be up super early.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SPBInDisguise · 04/02/2013 13:39

Not if it worksfir you. Are you happy and coping otherwise? Are you getting out and seeing people or are you struggling to get out in time?

N0tinmylife · 04/02/2013 13:42

No you are not a bad parent, enjoy it! I remember those days, DS used to wake up for a bottle about 6.30, then go back to sleep until 9.30ish, and I'd do the same. It didn't last, he has been up by 7am every morning for years now!

Tryharder · 04/02/2013 13:42

I would enjoy it while it lasts personally.

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Original poster

ineedaspartame · 04/02/2013 13:42

I get out if I need to. I never miss things like hospital and doctor's apts and I do most of my shopping in the afternoon and evening. I also meet friends and family in the afternoon or evening.

OP posts:

MrsBucketxx · 04/02/2013 13:42

I'm seriously jealous cause even when I dont have the kids I'm up early or I get head ache.

if your coping otherwise enjoy while you can.

the only issue could be less playing time for your baby,

is your baby up late, does she have a nap in the day?

BumgrapesofWrath · 04/02/2013 13:43

Definitely enjoy while it lasts!! My DS did this, but stopped by the time he was 6 months old.

HanneHolm · 04/02/2013 13:44

Yup. That's crap.
Are you ok?

firawla · 04/02/2013 13:45

It's fine, its just that your babies sleeping schedule is different than those who sleep at 8 and get up at 6am for example. If she doesnt sleep til midnight its just the same but adjusted backwards?

SPBInDisguise · 04/02/2013 13:46

Hanne was tht to the op?

5madthings · 04/02/2013 13:47

Sounds fine for noiw, you may want to adjust the sleep pattern as she gets older so you can go to toddler groups etc, they are normally in the mornings 10-12am.

amirah85 · 04/02/2013 13:47

why would u get up if she's sleeping?enjoy!i used to do the same,not anymore now i got to get up for the school run!

sleepyhead · 04/02/2013 13:47

I don't see a problem with that at her age. Eventually you'll need to adjust, either because she will or because real life doesn't cater for night owls and there will be places you need to be first thing in the morning, but at 3 months I can't see any harm.

There's no special virtue in being an early riser.

SPBInDisguise · 04/02/2013 13:48

They say sleep when the baby sleeps. Which for me with ds would have meant sleeping in my mother's arms for 20m till she dared try to put me down...hang on...rewind 30years and all becomes clear!

HanneHolm · 04/02/2013 13:50

In just worried that it sounds a bit like a symptom of depression.
Plus of this becomes a habit wil impact on your social life and time alone with your husband sans baby

But in you're happy.

SPBInDisguise · 04/02/2013 13:51

Well yes but the op doesn't get to sleep till 1ish
And I doubt this will be the same in 3m, but for the moment if it helps the op to cope then no bad thing

sleepyhead · 04/02/2013 13:58

It's only a symptom of depression if the op is usually someone who is bright and breezy in the mornings and usually manages fine on far less sleep. Funnily, having a baby doesn't in itself suddenly change your sleep habits, having a baby that gets up for the day at 5am does though...

Would you think the op was depressed if she was going to bed at 9pm because her baby was up at 6am?

Op, in the early weeks I coped with interrupted sleep from night feeds by sleeping as long as I could in the mornings. It's a perk of having one child. My mum used to get antsy about it as I was returning to work and she didn't think ds would be able to adjust his sleep patterns for nursery. That wasn't at all the case as his sleep patterns had naturally adjusted long before then.

Liveinthepresent · 04/02/2013 14:05

I remember doing this with DD too when she was tiny - it was heaven! Really hoping I might get as lucky second time round when DC2 arrives- but not sure DD is going to allow me any lie ins.
Enjoy it while it lasts I say!

HanneHolm · 04/02/2013 14:10

Fair enough then. :)

OscarPistoriusBitontheside · 04/02/2013 14:12

Make the most of it!

WowOoo · 04/02/2013 14:15

Sounds like bliss to me!

But, I'd want to sleep for a little bit and then get up to get stuff done while the baby is asleep.

That's me...I've never been able to sleep much once it gets light. Actually, when the dc were tiny I could've slept anywhere!

(HanneHolm - love the name!)

ThreeWheelsGood · 04/02/2013 17:59

I'm in the same position, 3mo baby sleeps midnight/1am to 9/10am so I do too. I used to be an early riser but I find the days so exhausting that I've adjusted my sleep accordingly. I'm sure it'll all change again soon! I wake up earlier if I have to eg GP, BF support group.

justhayley · 04/02/2013 20:32

I say whatever works do it! I think it would be dif if you were waking up at 2/3 in the afternoon but 10.30/11 isn't a big deal.
I would personally want me LO going to bed earlier but that didn't start happening in my house till DS was about 4 months.

I would try & wake your bubba earlier when it comes time to wean otherwise it's hard to fit in all the meals - but you have a while until that yet. Also if you want to take her to any groups as they start around 10/11ish.

Hope your doing ok xx

CrapBag · 04/02/2013 21:11

Sorry but people who are saying they wish they could do that and sounds like bliss etc, FFS read the OP. She said she has Chronic Fatigue.

I have had M.E./CFS for about 11 years. Its a fucking shit illness and you do whatever you have to do to get through, especially when you have children.

OP, you do what you have to do to get through it. This won't last forever and there will be times when you have no choice but to drag yourself up earlier. I know what its like, mornings are a complete killer for me but I have a strict routine and DD (2) has a 2-3 hour sleep not long after I get back from the school run so I go back to bed as well then. I may not get much done at all in the day but I don't care. My energy levels are far more important than other people possibly thinking that I am lazy. They don't anyway as people who know me, know about my illness and they are fine with it. If I can join in activites with my friends in the day then I do, if I can't because I need to rest then I don't.

bigmouthlala · 04/02/2013 21:19

Sounds fine to me - do what you need to get by. I know loads of people who have done similar with their babies. Actually, isn't it young babies' natural sleep pattern? Cluster feed all evening and then stay asleep well into the morning? That's how most of the babies I know are, aside from the few odd ones who seem to be on the 7-7 setting .

Has the chronic fatigue been going on for long or just since you had your baby?

MerylStrop · 04/02/2013 21:22

Sounds lovely

I expect you've been woken in the night a few times, the lie in will sort you out

So long as it doesn't stop you doing other things you want to do....

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