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Parenting

wwyd - ds pushed (fully clothed) in pool by other kid

202 replies

duplotractor · 27/01/2013 09:16

we are on holiday and I'd been for a swim in the hotel pool with my ds1. After we'd finished I was tidying uo and my ds was waiting for me - quite near the edge of the pool but he is sensible and I had my eyes on him the whole time.

Suddenly a boy - aged about 6/7- raced up and pushed ds in. I rushed in fully clothed to pull him out. I wasn't out of my depth but 2yo ds most defintely was. It was horrifying seeing my child submerged in the water.

My son was not surprisingly hysterical when I pulled him out and coughing etc.

The dad of the boy picked up his son and started hurrying away sort of poking his boy in the cheek as he went. I shouted after them "you could have killed my son". But they were hurrying fast and I wasn't really trying to catch them anyway.

Lots of people from around the pool were watching and staff came hurrying forward (obviously not wanting a scene). Suggested going to the indoor changing rooms to dry off and carried our bags for us. We were both soaking wet.

I just feel really traumatised and shaken by it now. Should I have remonstrated more with the boy/his dad or conplained to the pool attendants?? They obviously knoow what happened but should I have made more of a fuss.

OP posts:

Report

courtsareadisgrace · 27/01/2013 15:11

I have made errors in the past, I am in no way saying I'm perfect - DD was swept off her feet by a wave as a toddler when I was standing right beside her and we were only ankle deep.

But. The toddler was very close to the pool, without a flotation device, and the OP was busy doing something else.

Yes, it was the 6 or 7 year old's fault that they ran up to the toddler and pushed them in (if they even were 6 or 7 - DS is tall and looks much older than his actual age) but they were a child and children do silly things, especially on holiday. The OP also has to take some of the responsibility for not watching her child closely enough.

sweetestB · 27/01/2013 15:32

Why couldn't your son stand closer to you Op?
Why wasn't him sitting on a chair while you were packing?
It doesn't matter if your 2 year old is very sensible, as you found out, the 6 year old were not sensible at all.
And your son could have been pushed by accident by children running around, or he could have slipped.
It's about you teaching him how he can keep himself safe too.
I think you have to accept your fault in this.

seeker · 27/01/2013 15:37

Look, it doesn't matter if the OP was half a mile away swigging gin. An older child pushed her child into a swimming pool, and that child's father swept him off without trying to do anything to help, apologising or getting the child to apologise. That is completely unacceptable. And it staggers me that people are excusing the child. If a 6 year old I had brought up had done this I would be furious, embarrassed, mortified and seriously questioning my parenting. It is not normal, excited impulsive behaviour in a 6 year old, it really really isn't.

WhereMyMilk · 27/01/2013 15:42

What Seeker said...exactly.

To be fair, it also would be the same in my eyes, if it was a very tall 4yr old, such as my DS. He knows you don't push anyone into a bloody swimming pool ffs-even when they are in their swimming kit, unless it is within a game being played, and the person being pushed is expecting it and can respond accordingly.

WhereMyMilk · 27/01/2013 15:44

Also cannot get over "I wouldn't make mine say sorry" No wonder we have so many self entitled twats around.

CalamityKate · 27/01/2013 15:46

If this child was in fact a NT 6 year old, here's whet I'd have done:

He'd have been marched up to you and made to apologise. I'd have apologised to you myself. I'd have told him, in front of you, that there would be no more swimming for him until I was satisfied he'd learned to behave properly around water. And I'd mean it because at 6 there is NO WAY a child should think it was ok to push anyone in the water, much less a toddler and much less a fully dressed one.

courtsareadisgrace · 27/01/2013 15:46

As I read the OP, by the time the dad arrived, the toddler was out of the pool? And how do we know that the child was 6 or 7 and not a big 4, or that the family spoke English? There were others dealing with the OP and her child, the man took his child off and seems from what has been said to be ticking him off.

The man didn't react perfectly. He should have got his child to apologise. But people don't always think straight when they're panicking and shocked.

The Op still made a mistake by having a toddler inadequatley supervised at the side of a pool.

I have seen boys impulsively push other children into the pool. Today. At the swimming pool. And they were a lot bigger than 4 or 5 or 6 or 7.

CalamityKate · 27/01/2013 15:46

Absolutely agree with Seeker ^

DeepRedBetty · 27/01/2013 15:53

any sign of an apologetic dad yet?

And I agree with Seeker.

Tigerbomb · 27/01/2013 15:53

SSS

courtsareadisgrace · 27/01/2013 15:54

If the worst accident that ever befalls one of your DC's is that they are pushed into the pool and hoiked out in seconds by you then you'll be bloody lucky.

Mine have had tons of bumps and bruises and bashes and scrapes. Shit happens. Kids do stupid stuff. They're kids. It happens. The 4 or 5 or 6 or 7 who was the pusher didn't think it through, they just thought it would be fun, I'd guarantee it.

OP, wait til DS1 is the 6 or 7 and is battering seven bells out of DS2 on a regular basis.

DeepRedBetty · 27/01/2013 15:56

And the toddler was adequately supervised - when the child was deliberated pushed into the pool, the parent rescued him immediately.

A lot of holier than thou-ing going on in this thread .

5madthings · 27/01/2013 15:56

The boy shouldn't have pushed the toddler and the dad should have aspologised.

Other than one poster I think everyone has said they would have apologized and that their child would have been told off.

A child may know not to push another child especially a younger one into the pool but sometimes even the best behaved child does something wrong, for all we know he could have just seen some older children larking about and pushing each other in and then copied them in an attempt to join in.

The child is something wrong, he and his dad should have apologised but as others have pointed out maybe they didn't speak English?

People are not blaming the op in saying its perhaps not the most sensible thing to let a two years old stand by the side of a pool whilst you are bust doing something. This time he was pushed, another time he could slip or even impulsively jump in as children can be impulsive.

courtsareadisgrace · 27/01/2013 15:57

If the toddler hadn't been standing within a foot of the edge as the OP has said, he wouldn't have got pushed in.

I think the OP is panicking because she feels guilty and that it's partly her responsibility. I do that. If it's partly my fault I deflect the panic on to the other person.

courtsareadisgrace · 27/01/2013 15:58

I agree with 5madthings

seeker · 27/01/2013 16:01

Actually, I think that a fully clothed non swimming 2 year old being unexpectedly pushed into deep water is potentially up there with the worst things that could happen.

Boys pushing each other in is normal, impulsive behaviour. Pushing a strange toddler in is not. At 6 or even at 4.

JenaiMorris · 27/01/2013 16:04

I'm not excusing the child. But the level of supervision is relevant, because had the OP's son not been right at the poolside it wouldn't have happened!

If the toddler had been in a park and the big kid pushed him, he'd have been hurt. But in this situation he could have drowned.

I don't know what I'd have done if my own child pushed another into a pool, other than that he'd have received an almighty bollocking. Chances are I'd have removed him to do this, or sent him to stand elsewhere and then dealt with him. We simply don't know what happened between that boy and his dad.

LadyMargolotta · 27/01/2013 16:05

Agree with seeker. A very nasty thing to happen. And not normal behaviour for a six year old.

Duplotractor I hope you and your ds are ok and can enjoy the rest of your trip.

seeker · 27/01/2013 16:10

"I'm not excusing the child. But the level of supervision is relevant, because had the OP's son not been right at the poolside it wouldn't have happened!"

No. If the other boy hadn't pushed him it wouldn't have happened!

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 27/01/2013 16:12

Ffs, if your child hurts another in your presence, you apologise, it's manners and decency.

TheSecondComing · 27/01/2013 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarshaBrady · 27/01/2013 16:13

The hotel manager should say it was very dangerous and ask him to apologise. That should stick in the mind.

5madthings · 27/01/2013 16:16

If the child hadn't have pushed him he could still have slipped or even jumped into the pool himself.

The child shouldn't have pushed him, the dad should have apologized.any child of mine that did it would get a bollocking and I would apologize.

But I don't think its unreasonable to suggest to the op that perhaps keeps a two year old away from the edge of a pool whilst she packs bags etc.

courtsareadisgrace · 27/01/2013 16:18

It was a kids pool.

Although kids can drown in centimetres. But it was a kids pool. He was hoiked out quickly. But if he hadn't been standing within a metre of the poolside it wouldn't have happened.

He's 2. He could have decided to run to his friend and fallen in. He was too close to the poolside. And the OP was putting stuff into bags and therefore could not have been watching him all the time.

DoctorAnge · 27/01/2013 16:23

Absolutely bang on seeker.

If it were my 6 old I would have gone ballistic actually and explained that what he did to a baby could have drowned him. I would have made him apologise to op.

How could anyone NOT reproach a child for such awful behaviour. The mind boggles.

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