BadMiss, reading more suggestions about tribunal, have you contacted the Citizens Advice Bureau about it? They should defo help, no?
BBM, sorry about DP. Sure he is not always difficult, but I have found in the past that being married at a difficult time can be one of the loneliest feelings, especially as perhaps like me you worry about explaining things to family and close friends for fear of turning them against him? I know this can be hard, esp when you are lonely and tired at times, but I really found a combination of being much firmer/stronger but also reassuring was needed. I found as maternity leave wore on though DH was brilliant with DD, he got more and more disinterested in me or what I had to say (sadly not entirely ever that interested in me, tbh, but we have a good relationship in other ways) and very lazy around house: I made a point of saying that I understood he was working hard but I was too, however the key point was that as soon as I went back to work I expected him to take on half of all domestic work (it took a while and some further 'chats' but we kind of got there); and also that the reason I regretted him not making time to spend with me etc was because though I loved Lucy I still loved him and enjoyed adult company in the evening, etc.. It's a bit like having another child, the cliche is true, but worth a try? Forgive me if you know all this- you are also experienced - but DH and I went through a much much more terrible patch before I was pg and what I learned from that, and the fact I survived it at all, made me wiser and also determined to make all that effort/hurt worthwhile for the longterm. Anyway, if nothing else, I feel for you, but cannot believe somebody as warm, interesting and witty as you will not hold huge appeal to DP deep down - which is why I wonder about his own insecurities etc.? Fatherhood can be very scary for me viz responsiblity, losing partner, trappedness.... I even wonder if your stay in Paris made him lonely or something? I'll shut up now, but big hugs (and frankly any man who does not fall at your feet for pistachio and honey cake needs his head seen to ;)) )
Goat, hope you get good sleep soon. What systems have you read up on/tried with BG? Has he always been thus? Having had DD regress to two to four waking a night over Christmas/new year (about a month plus :( ) I now remember just who totally awful and truly torturing it can be. Do ask for help if you need it - nobody can cope with that kind of sleep loss, esp if you are doing any BF.