Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

[10000Fireflies]

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! . Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

knicky sounds like you're having it rough. Broken sleep is the pits. You forget what it was like. I'm starting to realise the human brain has an amazing ability to block the bad stuff - disturbed nights, the sometimes endless crying. It will get easier in time. What's the score with DD - does she have any time in nursery so you can catch up on sleep when the baby dozes? . If not can you get some help while you ride out the rough patch? Don't worry re DD becoming a daddy's girl. We've got that with DS and I think it's pretty normal. She'll soon get back to normal.

We're not so bad. Getting just about enough sleep but struggling with energy from the section and infection. Still can't get DD to latch but am gradually getting more milk. Going to try nipple shields. I hate them but if the persuade her to come to the breast I might be able to get her latched on properly without them after a few goes. The other problem is she won't let you put her down in the day. She cries as soon as you do. Going to keep DS in nursery a bit longer til I've got more energy.

Hope baby K gets into a sleep pattern soon. It will get better. Hang in there lovely.

Knicky, newborn days are those I most dread, babies are so little and don't react much, Mums have not learnt yet to decrypt cries etc... Hormonal roller coaster, sleep deprivation is a killer. But it does get easier, you will cope. as othes said, can you get a bit of help with DD ? so that you can sleep when baby does ? Strangely enough, when DH travels for 2 or 3 days, DS behaves much better and I feel more relax with baby, doing things my way at my rythm, somehow it is easier. But I might change my mind completely as DH will be away for 2 weeks and I will have to deal with the 2 of them....

Chairman, re DH's text to his friend !

Midget, you do so much stuff, I m impeessed. How do you do ?
Somewhere, are you ok today ?
Goat, good luck for getting back to work tomorrow.

Omg I just did a massivepost and lost it. Grrr

Chairman, it is always hard for the first born to adjust to sibling, I reckon. They used to be the centre of our attention and now they have to share. I tried to tell DS to wait until I m done without mentioning the baby too much and also get him to help me take care of his sister, like "Oh oh can you check if baby has done a poo (by smelling !) ?" or "why do you think your sister is crying?" "do you mind bringing me the nappy cream please?" Of course, it is easier for me as he is older than your DD, if I remember well. But getting them involved is a way of distracting them and tbh they love it. A month or two ago, I was cooking and A started being upset in the living room, I sent DS to check on her and I could hear him "reading" to her ! So cute.... He was very proud whem I praised him for being so creative and kind with her.
Scarecrow, you are not betraying your first born, they will be so happy to have a sibling to share games and secrets...

Sorry to hear you are struggling Knicky - those early days with a newborn are still fairly fresh in my memory so really sympathise (although I only have the one to deal with - no idea how it works if you have other kids). I was worried too about DP going back to work as it meant I would be on my own for several days at a time, but I quickly got used to it and it wasn't as bad as I had feared.

Chairman good luck with the shields - not used any myself but hope they work for you.

I had a look through the photos on my phone last night and found the very early ones of Baby Eagle - a bloated, bloodied little baby with forceps marks down her poor face. Can't believe how much she has changed in just a few weeks! She's just over 11lb now and very sociable, smiley and chatty. She'll happily sit in her baby bouncer with a toy to play with, or is content just to watch me work in the kitchen as long as I talk to her constantly. The only problem is that we seem to have some sort of regression/shift in routine at night - last two nights she's been fed as normal around midnight and would then go to sleep for a few hours, but now she's decided to be wide awake so then have to spend hours getting her back to sleep. Everything (good and bad) seems to be a phase and passes soon enough, so hoping she'll go back to night sleeping soon.

Regarding the friend with the safety helmet, one thing I forgot to mention is that there has been tragedy in the family and so there are obviously extra anxieties that arise from this. Clearly this is overkill on the safety front, but I guess if you are extra terrified of something bad happening then this is what you have to do to reassure yourself. Interestingly, I also have one friend who hoovered her back yard before letting her DD play out there, and another friend who planned to put up an electric fence in her garden (she kept chickens). "if they touch the fence a second time, then they're very stupid kids", she said...

Good luck for first day back at work tomorrow Goat

morning all. lurking a lot as T takes up to an hour to feed - with lots of pauses between courses...I like to think he is showing a Gallic appreciation of his food :) If I doze off or we get interrupted by guests it can take 2 hours!

however super hard to post on phone and more than once lost efforts, so excuse me if post in mini bursts.

Bloody hell. Back to work for the goat? Good luck Goat - I am sure it will be fine but I am shuddering a little for you.

goat - best of wishes today, even a hug if I may presume. in sleep broken state forget if you have other DCs, ie if have done this before. to the day my second maternity leave began I never stopped missing DD on work days, but it does get easier, I promise.

Knicky - I so feel for you. I think you are almost in the toughest part. the novelty has worn off for guests, helpers, the hormonal euphoria has worn off, the broken sleep is catching up with you, and then paternity leave ends too. Be reassured as others say you will emerge, but it will be. happier speedier emergence if you have daily respite - from memory DD is 4 ish so guessing she is in nursery?? I think somewhere has DS similar age so she might have more wisdom on this... Like you though my older sibli g is a DD and part if my issue is half wishing she was less interested in T - she constantly wants to hug, touch, cuddle, put covers on and off, give him toys (often in his face) and so on. I'm relying more than I'd like on Postman Pat/Ben & Holly and my sister made an amazing feeding time game - a bag of " cards" (laminated bits of paper) with challenges from doing actions to incy wince spider to hopping like a bunny or whatever many of them mire suitable for your DD than mine prob ad things Luke counting to ten ) I 'll PM you about scones in JL x

Omg it didn't post again. F the app Ill have to do it on the Internet. ! B*!

Ok for the THIRD time!

eagle the NHS insists on keeping babies cool for safety reasons and I'm sure this is right statistically but I am now suspecting -who have thought- that babies prefer to be warm. Evidence: I kept ds cool - hands outside blanket, no hat, low heating, etc - and he slept appallingly. Note to knicky. Baby SBR is being swaddled in fleece and sleeping much better(for now). I will switche to summer swaddle me and calibrated extra layers as weather gets warmer though.

knicky you have all my sympathy. Ds was the same - every 2 hours and it felt like every hour cause it was such hard work to get him down again, took at least half an hour. Terrible relationship strains - storming out of house and the like (me).

Is baby k warm enough? (See above) Have you tried swaddle?

My ds did his longest sleep 3 hours or something when he first went down but my dp insisted I watch telly with him so I'd miss it, any missed opportunities like that?

Re dp going back to work Can dd go to nursery an extra day or even afternoon to allow you a nap with baby? We're sending ds 3 days a week for 1 month to ease me in then back to two.

Also think bbd spot on - oddly easier without dp's opinions to contend with, or at least that balances out the lack of help.

chair your dp sounds like his heart is in right place. A text sort of sabotages the intention as imposs for the guy to take it seriously - but is this not the purpose of dp's partly, to be berks with less intuition than us?

scarecrow I have heard the cheating metaphor from another mum. I did feel so sad for my ds cause I felt he didn't even know my heart was shared so I think I know what you mean. Briefly I felt less interested in him but then my love rebounded fiercer than ever and I also felt he has had a sort of promotion which is bringing out new depths in him so feel better.

Re the midwife story I am far too paranoid to let my kids wander so can't totally relate but what a great line - they'll bring her back when she wakes at 5am!

Sorry if I've missed people losing will to live here.

AFM Week 1 day 5 can go out with pram. Some pain but taking my painkillers religiously after slacking off and even a brief sit down on a bench resets pain to zero.

Question - girls anatomy, they said don't go into vagina when cleaning bum. But what if you can see poo in there? Experienced girl bum cleaners - any thoughts? It's so much more delicate and scary than boy parts!

Xxxx

Ps I decided to wrap baby SBR up warmer than advised cause otherwise she'd end up in the bed - also a risk.

Somewhere, I now clean A under the tap, if I can instead of using wipes or cotton but I m sure if you separate a bit the labia to remove poo and then go down to rectum, you would not bring any bacteria up. What does every one else do ?

somewhere - totally sympathise re posting/losing/swearing! we need to ask MNHQ for a Save function perhaps?
good to hear from you and inspired you are pram pushing. putting my feet into socks sore still, but I def feel stronger every day - by small but definite amounts. weather is helping too...
on poo, I was time you should leave and it self cleans. I do usually however gently woe out, top to bottom as BBD suggests, being careful not to push indude. so far, touch a forest, has worked. Meanwhile I've had my first couple of mini fountains!

Chairman - how are you doing re coping with 2? am avidly reading replies to you as I think our DCs are v similar gap, ie c 2.25 yrs (DD b just before Christmas 2010), though genders reversed. harder to trust that affection ( and occasionally risk of jealousy) will not lead to disaster when so young, I think. we are putting a small hook and eye on bedroom door so I can shower or whatever without fear DD being over affectionate. I hope, like me, you are feeling less overwhelmed with every day that passes. Though I have childcare 3 days a week so that helps mentally a lot.

eagle - your last post was beautiful: inspiring after some of the exhausting struggles you had. also a curious reminder of how quickly this nb stage ends and our LOs begin to visibly (and audibly!) change.

BBD your sweetly worded wisdom makes you seem like the snug sage! it is always so helpful and reassuring.

by the way, what happened to VQ and FF? I remembered them from before grads thread spin off...

Thank you all so much for your wonderful words especially given that you're all feeling more than likely feeling dreadfully sleep deprived too.

Things done today....

have bought a miracle swaddle blanket off amazon.
Organised my mum to stay a few days next week. Although she won't be able to help with DS, she can keep DD entertained whilst I will nap when DS naps.
Listened to all your wise words - I know in my heart of hearts these times won't last but it sometimes needs a bit of a pep talk to remind yourself (or me!) of this.

Have told DH that I'll take DD into town at the weekend for our old routine of a trip to the library and a coffee and muffin in costas. DH has said he'll look after DS and to enjoy some me and DD time. Think it's just what I need. It's funny how you can miss the relationship with your first child. It all takes time to bed down I think. Bless DD though she tells me often that she loves her baby brother very much. She won't hear a thing against him.

I am lucky that DD goes to nursery 3 full days a week. I think the thing which feels me a bit with dread is negotiating the morning run with DD and DS in tow, then bed and bath routine on my own. DS seems to be particularly grouchy from 6 till 8pm just in time for DD's bath. Suspect it will be a case that when DH goes back to work, DS will just have to get on with his grouchiness whilst I deal with DD.

goat hope your first day back at work went OK. No doubt you'll be racing back to the childminders to see DS again. I remember driving far faster than usual to get back to see DD again the first whole day I left her in nursery. That said, I also remember the first time she cried because she was having so much fun and didn't want to come home with me. We still sometimes have those days!!
scarecrow you hit the nail on the head. I think weeks 3 and 4 can be the toughest. you're still not getting any response from your LO - no smiles (except windy ones) from DS yet plus the hormonal euphoria has worn off. Hopefully within a couple more weeks we'll start seeing some genuine smiles which helps ward off any sleep deprivation blues.
somewhere god I remember the poo in DD's front bits. Think we just used a wipe from front to back very carefully - almost using the wipe to pick out the poo from her front. Yuck though not something to relish .

Thank you all so much for your wonderful words especially given that you're all feeling more than likely feeling dreadfully sleep deprived too.

Things done today....

have bought a miracle swaddle blanket off amazon.
Organised my mum to stay a few days next week. Although she won't be able to help with DS, she can keep DD entertained whilst I will nap when DS naps.
Listened to all your wise words - I know in my heart of hearts these times won't last but it sometimes needs a bit of a pep talk to remind yourself (or me!) of this.

Have told DH that I'll take DD into town at the weekend for our old routine of a trip to the library and a coffee and muffin in costas. DH has said he'll look after DS and to enjoy some me and DD time. Think it's just what I need. It's funny how you can miss the relationship with your first child. It all takes time to bed down I think. Bless DD though she tells me often that she loves her baby brother very much. She won't hear a thing against him.

I am lucky that DD goes to nursery 3 full days a week. I think the thing which feels me a bit with dread is negotiating the morning run with DD and DS in tow, then bed and bath routine on my own. DS seems to be particularly grouchy from 6 till 8pm just in time for DD's bath. Suspect it will be a case that when DH goes back to work, DS will just have to get on with his grouchiness whilst I deal with DD.

goat hope your first day back at work went OK. No doubt you'll be racing back to the childminders to see DS again. I remember driving far faster than usual to get back to see DD again the first whole day I left her in nursery. That said, I also remember the first time she cried because she was having so much fun and didn't want to come home with me. We still sometimes have those days!!
scarecrow you hit the nail on the head. I think weeks 3 and 4 can be the toughest. you're still not getting any response from your LO - no smiles (except windy ones) from DS yet plus the hormonal euphoria has worn off. Hopefully within a couple more weeks we'll start seeing some genuine smiles which helps ward off any sleep deprivation blues.
somewhere god I remember the poo in DD's front bits. Think we just used a wipe from front to back very carefully - almost using the wipe to pick out the poo from her front. Yuck though not something to relish .

knicky in same boat. This too will pass- it just doesn't feel like it!

So many lovely posts from you all! It is so wonderful to see the differences and similarities between all our tinies, and think oh yes, I remember that well, or conversely think that things were/are a little different... They are such individual personalities.
Sleep ebbs and flows... We had a couple of pretty good nights. Then I went back to work today. Thank you for the good wishes - I was fine, unfortunately and alas, BG was not. He exploded at the bottom end this morning all over the CM's living room... She rang me to inform me, but kept him for the day as all seemed well after that. But then tonight he has done the most massive p&s ever from both ends. A whole day's feeds all over the kitchen floor, mostly undigested. (Sorry for info). As DH is a teacher and is doing speaking tests with his students this week, it is down to me to stay home with my poor lamb. So one day at work and home again for the 48 hour exclusion!
I hope the sleep deprived get some sleep soon.

been a bit post-tactic, sorry to hog.

couple if thoughts, Knicky, do you use a feeding app? I have Android so forced to use Baby Connect. Find sanity in looking at daily charts and seeing interval between feeds creep up and or time taken to feed rise or fall, etc.
Also my NCT group motto was always "could it be a growth spurt?" When we got home T switched to a feeding pattern or an hour to feed followed by an average one hour til next feed demanded. On Sunday mw said he had lost only 3.3pc of body weight (which given the flood if meconium he passed us a miracle, but also much less worrying than DD who had lost c10pc) and also that he is a bit jaundiced: then it occurred to me he had automatically adjusted to "self-medicate", so to speak. clever

Morning all,

Hope the new babies are behaving themselves and giving their poor mums boobs a break from constant chowing. Master Midge was a nightmare when little and a devil on a growth spurt - the four hour stints he does now seemed like a distant fantasy. I think life with 2 children is only just settling down in the Midge household. It is so hard making sure you have time for number 1 and being able to trust their little hands to he stroking and not pinching. Once you get there it is lovely though.

I am going to desperate measures and starting the 5 2 diet. And poor master midge has woken with an awful chesty cough. May take him to the quacks although fairly certain there will be nothing they can do. He no doubt got it as yesterday I was smugly thinking how well he has been apart from the odd cold....

Big wave to all, love the idea of BBD being a sage. An appropriate description. Where is VQ? I miss her.

I hope baby goat is on the mend - sounds rather unpleasant for goats big and little.

so when do they "wake up"? I'm loving the sleep-eat-sleep-eat phase as feel I can regain some humanity, even a veneer or civilization, but seem to remember it got harder last time

also do other mummies with girl/boy combos (either way round) notice they use different language with them? This gender business is mire subtle than toys and punk/blue. I'm half fascinated by way u have skipped into calling him "little man" and "mate", and half wondering if I should be challenging myself.

for the record I did pass some exams at school, so am not totally illiterate. My garbled posts are a daily reminder of the value of paying more than a tenner a month for a smart phone

Hi just a quick one.

Sorry if last post a bit crispy - I was getting a tad frustrated with failure to post.

goat hope Bg better soon. What a dizzying experience to brace yourself for work then be sucked straight back to child are. Hope you acclimatise and find a lovely new balance.

scarecrow good question. Baby SBR did 7 hours (awake) then 2 then 5 then 5.5 and counting (today). I'm braced for it to end. What is baby t doing?

midget when are you going to attempt your first fast day? Good that sibling is getting more trustworthy - what a relief.

AFM baby SBR started to caress my arm with her feet when she feeds.

Agree bbd sage like!

Xx

Never get MN time at the mo, baby S been a bit poorly for a week, but just wanted to say welcome baby where and baby scarecrow - (any more I've missed ? fab to have such a busy mums thread now) I'm already envious of those lovely newborn days, and am seemingly rose-tinted re the utter awfulness of that sleep deprivation / feeding every 10 mins / everything hurts stage - the wonders of memory loss! I'll be back to catch up properly and get to know new mums one day soon! x

ps am starting diet too. Did not get off to good start with 2 cakes today.Plan is no particular plan, just cutting right down on sugar, staying off alcohol and red meat, loads of fruit, veg, chicken, fish and some complex carbs. Cake is going to be my weekness - its seen me through the first 7 months!