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Original poster

Is having three one too many?

48 replies

Wembley · 19/04/2006 10:25

My husband and I are in discussions about whether to extend our family. We have a DD 3 and a DS 9 months and we don't know whether to go for one more. We are both one of 3 ourselves and have had mixed experiences.

Our friends of 3 children have given us mixed comments, some say 3 is not much differnet to 2 others say 3 is a nightmare! Help!

I am worried about the time I will have to spend with each child. Having 2 seems great I don't want to upset the family by taking on too much but I would love to have another baby!

Also as I am now 35 when should we start trying for another one if we decide to go ahead. DS is only 8 months!

So all you mums of 3 or more advice please!

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NomDePlume · 19/04/2006 10:29

I have 3, 2 boys, 1 girl. It's great. I have a big age gap between my 2 boys and my DD (10 yrs between DS1 & DD, and 8yrs between DS2 & DD). Go for it !

scoobytwo · 19/04/2006 11:24

i have 3,2ds 1 dd,big age gap with 1st 2,not so big with the last&i do wish i had them all close together as dd&ds2 get on great,one more isnt too much if its what you want go for it,baby will fit in nicely around you all

lockets · 19/04/2006 11:28

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lact8 · 19/04/2006 11:31

Go for it! I have 3, 2 ds's and dd. 7 year age gap between the boys and 22 months between ds2 and dd. I was worried that it would be too much but I find that we feel like a 'real' family now

maltesers · 19/04/2006 11:32

I have three kids, 18,15 and 5 yrs and love them dearly bit to be quite honest i have had my fill .. 3 is too many. big gap or not. Wish now i had just had the one and was now free to persue other interests.. think things happen for a reason and maybe little one came along for a reason.. destiny and all that. ! one or two is sensible , three is silly and four is mad !! IMHO. But if you adore having kids then have more. Its hard work though. best of luck with your decision.

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 19/04/2006 11:34

wembley go for it
I have 6 and asll different ages
every time one was off to school I got caught again iykwim
loved (nearly) every minute of it

zubb · 19/04/2006 11:39

wembley - I'd be one of those saying that 3 isn't much different to 2! I have 3 boys - 4, 2 and 7 months - and it's great. The older 2 amuse the baby, and play brilliantly with each other, and are asking for another baby now! There are 22 months between each set (ds1 - ds2 and ds2 to ds3) and it seems to work well. Downside would be that having 3 under school age is very expensive on the childcare front, but I work from home so am flexible with timings. You may need to think about a bigger car maybe, but it's not always necessary.

cod · 19/04/2006 11:40

hola zubb been to mistral yet?

zubb · 19/04/2006 11:44

Hi cod, managed to avoid town all through the holiday, but will check it out this week. Any good?
Any idea whats going on in town for St Georges day? I know that the castle has dragon hunts on.

Chandra · 19/04/2006 11:47

As one of three siblings, and with a family full of two adults-three children families I would say that is better to have 2 or 4, 3 is a bad number as there is always going to be one that is going to be excluded when playing.

secur · 19/04/2006 11:48

Grin 1 too few IMO! I have 4 and love it! If you are the type of person who thrives on action and activity then I would say go for it, however, I wold balk a little at having one so soon after the other - that would seem very brave to me!

Good luck with whatever you decide Smile

wanderingstar · 19/04/2006 12:15

I found 3 fairly easy (20m gap then 3y gap); 4 a bit harder ( OK, knackering for a year!) but even that's great now that the youngest is 2.3.

In your shoes I'd go for it, sometime within the next year.

Tortington · 19/04/2006 12:48

it is if you ever want a cheap holiday

Original poster
Wembley · 19/04/2006 12:55

Thanks for your views everyone. I think we will go for it. I loved being one of three and although my husband didn't he still wants more kids. I think I'll stop at 3 though, you ladies with 4 - wow now that is brave!!!!

OP posts:
rbj949703 · 19/04/2006 13:14

I have 3

dd1 11½
ds 8½
dd2 2½

I wouldn't be without them, even though dd1 and ds are constantly fighting at the moment.

hana · 19/04/2006 13:20

i will have 3, baby is due in October and I'll be 36.
it's such a personal decision, you'll get 50:50 here.
I can't wait!

Anoah · 19/04/2006 14:47

I have 3 under the age of five and I am completely overwhelmed. I also work part time in a highly stressful job working odd hours, with hardly any prior notice of what I will be working. No support system either. It depends on what kind of outside stressors you've got as well.

Original poster
Wembley · 19/04/2006 17:42

Mmmm Anoah that sounds like hard work. I don't have much support in that I live away from my family as we are in the RAF and moving every couple of years and I am a SAHM so I don't have the stress of a job, my job is the children

OP posts:
Anoah · 19/04/2006 19:41

Hi Wembly, I only work part time 3 days a week but I can be scheduled to work days, nights, evenings 8 hour shifts or 15 hour shifts. I don't get more than a few days of notice as to what I will be working. Thank god DH has a job where he can be flexible!

My family all live away as well. Like I said in my earlier post, I don't think its the 3 kids that overwhelm me, its a combination of things. My kids are awesome.

Enid · 19/04/2006 19:43

lol custy

if you want another go for it

don't overthink it

Original poster
Wembley · 19/04/2006 21:07

Blimey Anoah what do you do? Do you work in the NHS?

OP posts:
vickiyumyum · 19/04/2006 21:14

i have 3! ds1 is 8 ds2 is 4 and dd1 5 weeks tomorrow.

it is very hard at the moment, but i'm sure thats down to her not yet sleeping through the night and being quite 'clingy' difficult to put down as she cries and i don't like to leave them at this age.

but it can't be that hard as even though i had a crap delivery and problems afterwards, kidney failure, readmitted to hospital with a cracked rib from delivery which caused me to not be able to breath properly, i am already trying to think up ways to persuade dh to go for another one!

i think the only problem after 3is the fact that we will need a bigger car (currently got a vectra and can just fit 3 car seats in the back) and a bigger house, have just moved to a 3 ned semi and although big on ground floor, with an extension for the kitchen, playroom and conservatory, the actually sleeping area is small, so would either have to extend or move. so for us 3 is a good number as car big enough and house big enough.

cordobagirl · 19/04/2006 21:22

I absolutely love having 3. DDs are 5 and 3, DS is 1. Our 2 girls have always got on really well together and they both absolutely idolise their little brother. It doesn't seem like harder work with 3, but of course it is. I think you put in the same amount of effort, but forget that if you didn't have a baby you would be reaping the rewards of your older ones getting more independent. But for me, having another one is reward enough. Also, now that i have 3 I think I'm more organised and have a better routine. We're planning number 4 now. I always wanted 4, so am very excited at the prospect.

jamiesam · 19/04/2006 21:24

I will have 3 in October, when ds1 will be 5 and ds2 will be 3. I'm planning on it being a breeze lol!

We have already bought a bigger car and are hoping ds's will be willing to continue sharing a room for a long time to come.

Dh is from a family of 3 and I'm from a family of 5. Mainly age (39 in August) stops me from possibility of having any more children.

This pg is going to be a bit stressful because of being higher risk for all sorts of issues for baby given my age. I would balance carefully having a decent age gap between your ds and no. 3 against not wanting to have too many children too young (iyswim)

GDG · 19/04/2006 21:27

I have 3 with small age gaps. All boys, now ds1 is just 5, ds2 is 3.5 and ds3 is 19 months.

Hard, hard work but fabbo. Wouldn't change it for the world.