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Original poster

Is having three one too many?

48 replies

Wembley · 19/04/2006 10:25

My husband and I are in discussions about whether to extend our family. We have a DD 3 and a DS 9 months and we don't know whether to go for one more. We are both one of 3 ourselves and have had mixed experiences.

Our friends of 3 children have given us mixed comments, some say 3 is not much differnet to 2 others say 3 is a nightmare! Help!

I am worried about the time I will have to spend with each child. Having 2 seems great I don't want to upset the family by taking on too much but I would love to have another baby!

Also as I am now 35 when should we start trying for another one if we decide to go ahead. DS is only 8 months!

So all you mums of 3 or more advice please!

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fennel · 19/04/2006 21:28

i do love having 3 but definitely find it harder work than two. and sometimes can't help being a bit jealous of those with just one or two the age of my first two (who are 6 and 4) who seem really free to get on with things, while we are perpetually in the nappies and buggies stage. it does get very noisy and shrieky (sp?) around our house, it can feel like too much.

but it is gorgeous seeing all 3 play together, my first two are very lovely with their little sister. they would like us to have more.

Anoah · 19/04/2006 21:44

Wembly,

Yes, I am a charge nurse on a medical ward at an NHS hospital.

I also wanted to add that I found that a double pushchair is a necessity with 3 kids. I need two of them strapped down if I go anywhere. I would probably be all right with my 3 year old walking if I didn't have the baby as well. But if two of them run off in different directions its a nightmare. Even so, I still find my 3 a joy and wouldnt change a thing.

Anoah · 19/04/2006 21:44

Wembly,

Yes, I am a charge nurse on a medical ward at an NHS hospital.

I also wanted to add that I found that a double pushchair is a necessity with 3 kids. I need two of them strapped down if I go anywhere. I would probably be all right with my 3 year old walking if I didn't have the baby as well. But if two of them run off in different directions its a nightmare. Even so, I still find my 3 a joy and wouldnt change a thing.

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Original poster
Wembley · 19/04/2006 21:46

I know you had to be a nurse, your off duty sounded too close to home!!

OP posts:
Anoah · 19/04/2006 21:54

LOL Are you a nurse too? You must know the drill then. I left my notice anyway and I'm not going back. Yippeee.

Apologies for going off topic.:)

Original poster
Wembley · 19/04/2006 21:56

Yes I am/was. I left the RAF once I had my DD. I think I dragged you off the subject actually!! That's another thing for me though, my registration is about to expire and my optins are go back to my nursing with 2 children or have a third and consider never going back!?

OP posts:
vickiyumyum · 20/04/2006 09:43

i'm a midwife and just had my third, i'm supposed to eb going back to work in october, but i am just not sure howchildcare is going to work out with three children, all requiring different drop offs and pick ups, after school clubs, extra activities, but dh just cannot see that my salary will only just about cover childcare costs and petrol to and from work, childminders etc, he thinks we will be worse off, but in fact we could be better off, as at the moment we don't get any help with tax credits but according to the phone helpline we will get something if our income was reduced.

i know that sounds awful giving up work to claim a benefit, which to be honest is the only thing putting me off!

Auntymandy · 20/04/2006 09:47

I have 5 so..there you go!!! oh my youngest is 18months and I am 40!

mrspitt · 20/04/2006 10:07

I've got 3 under 5's and its brilliant. Bloody hard work but not as hard as i thought it would be though. Dd2 is 14 weeks and i'm already thinking about a 4th but its a huge decision. I didn't find 3 was that different from 2.
Like someone else said 3 fits the car and the house so do i really want to change that?.

amelia02 · 20/04/2006 13:05

I have just got pregnant with number 3 and am v excited although occasionally think we're mad. Mostly dreading telling parents and mother in law as ever since we has 1 ds and 1 dd they go on and on about how we have a perfect family!! Just didn't feel like I'd finished though. I come from 3 and so does dh and both had a great childhood. Good luck Wembley!!:)

LadyTophamHatt · 20/04/2006 13:09

Is having three one too many?

No, I've got 3..... for me it's 1 too less.

(sorry rubbish grammar there but YKWIM)

cod · 20/04/2006 13:09

yes far too many
i snet one back

oliveoil · 20/04/2006 13:29

dh said he would rather nail his knob to the table than have another one.

cod · 20/04/2006 13:30

light weight

flutterbee · 20/04/2006 13:31

My mums had 7 and tells me she wishes she had made the most of how easy it was when she only had 4 so 3 must be a doddle Wink

oliveoil · 20/04/2006 13:32

I said if I won the lottery I might be swayed, my worries are mainly financial.

But then I think that I shout enough at the 2 I have so god help me if I had another. I could go insane!

PeachyClair · 20/04/2006 13:33

I'm with Lady TH, 3 is one too few

LadyTophamHatt · 20/04/2006 13:51

Hi-jack alert, sorry wembley.
I'm constantly hoping Dh will change his mind again Peachy. I'll never happen though.
Sad

PeachyClair · 20/04/2006 14:03

Think my Dh will give in one day, apparently it depends on whether he can afford a bigger car.
I've told him if it's a no when i graduate, I'm going on sex strike Grin

LadyTophamHatt · 20/04/2006 14:08

Funnily enough that whet my Dh says too.

It makes me feel even worse TBH. having to get a differnt car isn't a good reason not to have another one.

I thing Dh, no actually I know he would like another because he has said so befroe but he has silly reasons (like cars) not too.

I'd hate to get to "whatever age" (ie, too old) to look back and regret no having No4.

PeachyClair · 20/04/2006 14:11

That's how I feel too- I know when D?4 was / is here we'll both be glad, and I'd hate to look back and regret later.

Aero · 20/04/2006 14:33

I love having three (ds1 8, dd 5.5, ds2 2), but find it incredibly hard work. Partly that is down to ds2's overwhelming iron will!! He is much more difficult to manage than the other two put together. He is, however, the most endearing wee chap and I totally adore him (mostly)!

The thing I find is the biggest pain is that the older pair are big enough to do things that ds2 is too young for and because we have quite a small support network, I feel they miss out on things like cinema trips etc and when ds2 will be old enough, ds1 at least will be too old for the same things iyswim.

Having said that, I'd never change it and the others love having a little brother, but we definitely won't be going for a fourth!!!

Having another one just to even things up (imo) isn't a good enough reason to have another when you think you've got enough on your plate.
Dh and I were both one of four and loved it, but neither of us feel we could handle another child, so the three we've got will just have to work out how to not leave each other out!

poppiesinaline · 20/04/2006 15:55

Wembly - I have 3 (was only planning on 2 and no 3 was a 'surprise'!) I think 3 is more work than 2 and does make a difference but that is my personal view. Only you will know whether 3 will round it off nicely or tip you over the edge! LOL Although it is harder work it is more fun too.

I suppose you have to ask yourself this question - what will you regret more in years to come - having one more or not having any more

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