Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Did you deliberatley sabotage your breastfeeding?

95 replies

NewYearNewHat · 27/12/2012 01:13

Am curious. Am bf my toddler still, but I don't want to bf any future children. However, I come from a very pro-bf family so I would feel the pressure.

DH is pro-bf but more along the lines of not seeing any other alternative iykwim. He just sees it as the natural next step and has no idea about bottle feeding/formula etc.

So I was thinking with my next baby I would start out bf and then sabotage it as much as I could, introduce formula/dummy/bottles etc.

Has anyone done the same?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ChristmasKnackers · 27/12/2012 08:42

If you hate BF why are you still BFing toddler?

GTbaby · 27/12/2012 08:47

oP have u ever thought maybe other women in ur family are hiding how hard they found it?
I never realised ppl struggled to bf until I had problems n I was told tips others tried when they bf.

FivesGoldNorks · 27/12/2012 08:52

You don't want to bf your baby at all?
I do not understand why this is an issue though, stop feeding your toddler (gently). Feed your baby as you want to, it really is no one else's business other than your Dh. However do you actually know what bottle feeding a tiny baby entails? Why do you hate bf?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Welovecouscous · 27/12/2012 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viewofthehills · 27/12/2012 09:01

Why don't you want to breastfeed at all?
I would say we are a bfing family, to the extent that when someone gives me a baby and a bottle I feel a slight rising panic. As such I have watched my visitors faff around with bottles and formula all Christmas with bemusement. Why would you sign up for all that fuss when you can have it ready-made, fresh and on tap whenever you need it?
Assuming bfing is straightforward for you that is.

diddlediddledumpling · 27/12/2012 09:13

Really a newborn would benefit much more from bf than your toddler currently does, so don't get why you are bf your toddler. Also don't get why you can't just be a grown up and tell family your decision. Also, you say 'any future children', so am I right in thinking you're not even pregnant?
A non-issue, don't get it.

lagoonhaze · 27/12/2012 09:21

what a insult to the midwives using them as a lie.

If you dont want to Bf dont. But dont take up health care professionals time or insult them with your game

exoticfruits · 27/12/2012 09:27

I don't get why you are still feeding a toddler who doesn't need it and don't want to feed a newborn who does. It doesn't make sense. However it is your choice- just be straightforward - there is no need to 'sabotage'.

needsadviceplease · 27/12/2012 09:32

saycheeeeeese · 27/12/2012 09:35

Why don't you want to BF? You're obviously doing a good job at it, plus to me BFing was much less hassle, ready made feeds, no bottles to sort out, I BF until 6weeks when I gave up for health reasons and believe me bottle feeding was a PIA!

It's no ones business how you feed your baby so just tell them so!

VisualiseAHorse · 27/12/2012 09:35

Why do you dislike BF so much? And if you don't like it, why are you still BF a toddler?

This post has me confused.

FadBook · 27/12/2012 09:39

Struggling to get my head around this OP. something doesn't add up to me.

Perhaps I had too much wine last night...

AmberLeaf · 27/12/2012 09:39

Do what you like, I wouldn't start lying about it as lies have a way of coming out and making you look silly.

Make your decision confidently and stick to it.

It is no one elses business what you choose to do.

Onezerozero · 27/12/2012 09:40

Yes, I agree, if you make up a lie about being incapable, the second time, you are just begging for everyone to try to help and fix. Why waste their well-meaning energy and your time? Be an adult, tell the truth, do what you want to, don't make up a story!

inadreamworld · 27/12/2012 09:43

I don't understand - why bf a toddler and not want to bf your new baby? Obviously do what you want and why bf if you don't want to but it does seem a bit odd to me.

I only lasted about 10 days attempting to bf DD1 as had so many problems with it so not keen to try bf when I have DD2 in a few weeks. But if I could bf easily I would do it.

mummybare · 27/12/2012 09:51

Feed your babies however you like. Just tell relatives it 'didn't work out this time' and change the subject if they ask. But don't drag HCPs into it and certainly don't EVER let your baby go hungry to save face.

Again, though, I'm completely bewildered about why you would plan not to bf future babies when you are currently bf'ing a toddler.

Spero · 27/12/2012 09:52

It's your body, it's your choice. If you don't want to, don't. Or you could go your way and just lie to everyone. That sounds a very healthy foundation for your future relationships and in no way creepy.

Seriouslysleepdeprived · 27/12/2012 09:59

Also think its a bit odd. A toddler vs a newborn would be no contest for me.

Its also odd that you're surprised more people aren't saying 'oh yes I did that'.

Most people that haven't been able to BF haven't sabotaged it on purpose. They've not received the right support. Rather than feeling secretly relieved, they end up feeling anxious & guilty about it, often for years.

Your post is a bit insulting IMO.

laluna · 27/12/2012 09:59

What lagoonhaze said ...
I find it condiderably ignorant and selfish that you would implicate midwives or other hcps in your decision. As others have clearly said - it is your decision.

ItsaTIARA · 27/12/2012 10:45

You could lie to the wider family perhaps but you won't be able to lie to your DH unless you hide the red book and hospital notes from him and ban him from HV home visits. This is mad.

SnowProbs · 27/12/2012 10:49

What a strange idea.

I hated every minute of breastfeeding my first child. I lasted six weeks, three bouts of mastitis, gazillions of useless advice frm everyne frm my GP and BF counsellors to La Leche and NCT to my BF and my fuckng MIL! It was torturous and I felt like my body has been taken over by other people and was no longer my own.

I decided I would give my second child a week for the colostrum and then FF. I thought that was generous, frankly. Lasted a fortnight this time before mastitis and an abcess kicked in, but it was an enjoyable experience this time until that point and I am glad I did it.

Sod what other people think! Your body, your choice. Toughen up, be assertive and do what you feel like doing. No need for childish games.

Original poster

NewYearNewHat · 27/12/2012 10:50

Wow I guess I am alone with this. I am honestly surprised.

My family is very health conscious, earth mother-ish which is why they are so pro bf and I guess lucky as well to be able to do so successfully. Most relatives feed into toddler years for the health benefits and to avoid allergies etc.

I guess people have different families. I would actually love to be surrounded by family who would be keen to bottle feed my babies and babysit for me etc but I'm not. My family are not like this.

Why am I feeding my toddler still? Because I have had an incredibly stressful year and couldn't face stopping. I never wanted to go beyond 6 months but he wouldn't take a bottle and the months rolled on so it was much easier to ignore the situation and continue. I hope to stop soon.

I would never let my baby go hungry or waste hcp time. I was just thinking of requesting no visitors for a while. Dh would be looking after my ds so I would alone with my baby and I would just feed formula, use dummies etc and wait for my supply to fail.

I would never tell any one as I am aware people are sensitive about bf.

OP posts:

SnowProbs · 27/12/2012 11:09

Its just so childish and pathetic, though. Sorry. You are a mother and a grown up. Grow up!

Spero · 27/12/2012 11:12

Unless your family live off grid in a yurt, they are part of the problems of the world - they pollute, they consume. So they can sod off with their earth mother ways.

A baby needs a healthy happy unstressed mother. I know plenty of formula fed babies who grew up to be healthy, happy adults with Phds, blah, blah, blah.

But please don't lie to the people who presumably you want to go on living with, particulalrly your husband. I would be really sad if I had a partner who felt they had to lie to me about this, or anything.

Thumbwitch · 27/12/2012 11:16

Odd thing to do but I agree with posters who say that you should stop when you want to stop and make your own choices as an adult.

I hope (and I'm aware that I sound like a bf'ing evangelist by saying this) that you will bf your next baby for the first few weeks at least; but no reason why you should feel forced to continue until toddlerhood.

Flip

1 2 3 4