DD(5) CANNOT follow instructions, rude and grumpy. Please tell me I am not alone!

[PointlessCow]

DD is 5. She started Reception in September.

She may or may not have learning difficulties related to a diagnosed medical condition, we're waiting and seeing on that one. It may or may not be relevant.

We are really struggling with her behaviour at the moment. Well, me in particular, as I have a shorter fuse than DH and DD saves her very worst behaviour for me.

Every morning is the same old story: 'Can you get your shoes on please?', 'Please DD, can you go and find your shoes?', 'DD, shoes please!', 'DD, here are your shoes. Will you put them on please?', 'DD, shoes!', 'SHOES!' ad infinitum. You get the picture.

She seems utterly incapable of following instructions and as I understand it, this could be a result of a LD, which is why I feel so awful going on and on and on and on about getting dressed, getting undressed, eating breakfast, staying at the table, leaving her sister alone etc. etc.

I try to give simple instructions as I know she would struggle to understand a whole ream of 'do this, do that'. I try to remove distractions her sister, but I swear she could find something to distract her in a plain white sealed cell.

I am miserable. She is miserable. Our mornings are traumatic. She is grumpy and uncommunicative when she gets up. She is grumpy and uncommunicative when she comes home from school. I KNOW she is exhausted. Continually exhausted. We need to slow down some and get her into bed earlier. We spend most of our weekends doing stuff. But just family and friends stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary: shops, birthday party, Grandma's for tea etc. I haven't started her with any swimming, dancing or whatever because I know she is knackered. She is usually in bed by 7:00-7:30 but is up by 6 every single bloody morning without fail. Occasionally I try to squeeze in a nap over the weekend (DD naps, not me. I should be so sodding lucky) and she is like a different child when she wakes up.

She is sunny, and kind, and funny and charming, but by God she is bloody awful too. Please tell me I am not alone.

It is so true that you are only ever as happy as your unhappiest child and our house is a pretty unpleasant moany, whingy, shouty place to be at the moment.

Any tips?

Poor you (both)! Remember it's nearly the end of a long hard term, her first. Maybe her teacher has some good strategies? Also, the QuickKids app might be a useful addition to your armoury. Good luck!

Thanks Blue, I have moved this over to Behaviour and Development Seemed more apt.

Will google the QuickKids app

Sympathies - sounds v hard.

Firstly, I think reception is very hard work for children at first - many of them are absolutely shattered, particularly at this point at the very end of the first term.

Secondly, my DS is going through assessment for LD at the moment and one of the things he struggles with is following instructions. When I mentioned this to my two closest friends, they were both shocked that I made him dress himself on schooldays - they have NT children in year 1 and year 2 respectively and they both dress them every morning to save time.

So that might help. If you don't want to go down that route, I found a stopwatch helped with DS when he was in reception - I would do a running commentary like he was in a race. It was no quicker than getting him dressed myself really but at least he can do it now as most of the time I don't have time to help him (I work).

Oh, Dowager, that is interesting. I do help her alot or we'd never leave the house, and I feel that I shouldn't IYSWIM. I feel that I should be encouraging her to help herself, as that is the only way she will get better. Perhaps I am expecting too much from her.

I know the feeling pointless, DS is also 5, has ASD and possible LD. It's hard not to get frustrated, especially in the morning. Try PECS, I found them very helpful.

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these are very cheap and is what I use for morning tasks: get dressed - shoes on - brush teeth - etc.

Also try and use only one or two layered commands at a time like go to your room. then when they're there say Get your shoes. and afterwards say Put them on. all in stages rather than go get your shoes and put them on. which is a few commands at once.

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Hello my ds is also 5 and in first term of reception. He has no ld though. you are not alone. I feel like I am talking to a wall most of the time, he doesn't appear to listen, is constantly squabbling with his little sister. Have lost count of the number of times I said his name over the weekend. all I do is nag and have turned into shouty mum . Like your dd he is in bed at a reasonable time, but wakes early (anytime from 430). I am hoping that its just tiredness and the whole moving to big school thing. Interestingly he listens well and behaves at school. Maybe he does it at home because he knows its a safe place too iykwim. But you are not alone.

My friend has a boy in year two, she said she only had to stop chivvying him along to do every last little task about six months ago.
It sounds familiar to me too, so I would guess it is just a normal (albeit irritating) thing!

Thanks Mockingbirds, that looks interesting. Something similar was suggested on the other thread.

I hear that DD does behave at school too, Shelley. But I think although she behaves, she is still easily distracted.

Just bumping this to thank CatchingMockingbirds for the PECS cards suggestion - ours arrived yesterday and they've already made a huge difference - DS has got dressed and said 'oh are we going to school straight after breakfast?' this morning because that's what on the card instead of his usual meltdown.

He is really excited about them too

That's really good news dowager, I'm glad your DS had a good morning. They can make such a big difference can't they?

Honestly - they were like magic today/last night. Let's hope it continues!

Happy Christmas