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Original poster

Is it better to bring up children in the country or in the town?

45 replies

rosylizzie · 06/04/2006 18:54

would love to have everyones opinion/experiences on this - we currently live in an uninspiring small town which has a horrible big road through it but dooes have a great sense of community and the kids have loads of activities and friends on their doorstep. Im a country girl at heart and would love to relocate somewhere with views and have a bit of land for a pony etc. Have yuo done this? Pros and cons? Or should we wait till the kids are gone and retire to the country? Ours are 2 ds aged 9 and 7 and 2 dds 4 and 3 months

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SenoraPostrophe · 06/04/2006 18:57

age under 14: country. over 14: town probably, depending on neighbours, local pub and availability of fields that lend themselves to handbrake turns.

SenoraPostrophe · 06/04/2006 18:58

if you and your kids like horses though that's an extra point in favour of country! lots of my friends grew up there and as long as town links (buses etc) are good then that's what I'd choose for mine.

MrsMaple · 06/04/2006 19:30

Think it's a major mistake to make decisions based on what you think the children might like. If you want to move, or dh does, and you like where you've gone then they probably will too! Would agree about ages, but might move 14 down to about 11! Also need to consider what you mean by countryside. We used to live in countryside but couldn't afford acreage, and therefore they didn't really have that much freedom. We're in a town now, with cinemas to walk to, a playground nearby and the countryside only a 15 minute drive. Feel lucky. Getting best of both worlds!

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hulababy · 06/04/2006 19:33

Pros and cons for both.

I personally couldn't move out into the country, but that's me. I like living in a city, albeit a little further out now.

I wouldn't only put the children's views into this view. Look at what is best for your whole family, including you and DH.

Pruni · 06/04/2006 20:00

I grew up in a wee village miles from anywhere and anyone.
Please please don't move so far away from a city that it's a once-every-five-years event to visit one.
I had a bloody miserable time growing up where I did because as it happens I wanted to see a bit more of the world and meet a few more people than a village with a population of 2000 could cater for.
IMO the deep country is great for kids (if you're happy to let them out) but rank for teenagers.
Luckily there are only a few places in the UK that are so far from civilisation though (I just ended up in one of the few).

Sparklemagic · 06/04/2006 20:00

Interesting one Rosy. i also love the idea of views, etc, but think sometimes with kids maybe it can be a bit TOO isolated - they may not have local kids to play with which can remove some of the sense of community I think. Also, when they're secondary age getting to and from school and activities could be a problem, and as they reach older teenage it could be a nightmare!

We've just moved to a small town by the sea which I love love love...being by the sea is enough 'country' to keep me going, and at the same time we can walk 5 mins to the High St for the library, health clinic, and local shops. Schools are also 5 mins away, and the secondary school is only 10 mins or so.

Funnily enough I feel there is so much more for us here than there was in the big city we moved from - we lived a drive away from everything, and half the time I gave up on going to the library or whatever as you had to park, didn't have any money to pay, no spaces, etc etc....

I think a very small town is a really good place for younger to middling kids actually, I love it and wouldn't go back to city life.

bourneville · 06/04/2006 20:04

It's funny cos before i had dd i was a city girl, grew up here, couldn't imagine moving out though partly because all my friends & family are here, but since having dd I do wish for a more peaceful & safer surrounding. Although the older she gets and more links I make where i am makes me happier to be there. It is a long term vision to end up with a nice country cottage near a small town by the sea with the best of both worlds... one can dream! :)

Piffle · 06/04/2006 20:05

rural towns are good compromises, but we cannot see us living here past when the kids have finished schooling...

rarrie · 06/04/2006 20:29

Agree that rural / market towns are a good compromise. The thing is you have to be prepared to do the driving... however, if you have girls that can be a good thing! My friend's dad always picked her up from nighclubs, And when I stayed with her, we thought it was great having a free lift home, not quite realising that he was just ensuring we/she didn't get too drunk!

Skribble · 06/04/2006 20:44

We live in a very small rural village, bad points are 20+ kids roaming the streets in packs, same amount of teenagers who get drunk and have bonfires to keep warm. Small quite road still has lots af cars that speed through at 50+mph.

I would prefer lo live outside a village with a bit of land so kids can play out in safety.

Kids are kept involved in hobbies and activities so won't be getting let loose to roam and get drunk at night. We are only 15 mins to a decent sized town with all the shops, cinemas etc that we need. So not remote, near enough also for A&E, police and fire.

It really depends how you want to live and what your kids are likely yo be up to as the grow up, if they are into horses they should be happy enough in the country as long as you are prepared to taxi them when they are older to cinema and friends houses.

Psychobabble · 06/04/2006 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 06/04/2006 20:50

Hmm. I grew up in large cities. Don't have much experience of anything else. Except I knew a lot of peeps at uni who grew up in the country and they managed to get hold of WAY more drugs than I ever did.

Original poster

rosylizzie · 06/04/2006 22:01

I grew up in country about 4 miles from market town I went to school in. loved it till 16 or so (into horses) but then desperate to leave home for uni. think control parents had due to location good now im a parent but v frusrating at time
telling myself that all 16 - 18 yr olds are frustrated and want to leave home and it wasnt to do with the country. certainly loved my city years at uni in Newcastle though as Ive got older hankering after the country again
t

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brimfull · 07/04/2006 01:01

rural isolation will be too boring for teens,you'll end up driving them everywhere.We have chosen to stay in rural market town because of this.

katyp · 07/04/2006 07:50

I grew up on the edge of a small rural town (not in the UK), surrounded by fields, etc. I do have lots of memories of roaming the countryside as a child but not sure I would let my kids do it now without adult supervision! There wasn't a whole lot for teenagers to do but I don't remember it being a huge problem, at least during term time - we got lots of homework. There are a lot more activities available for youngsters there now. Had a few friends who lived further out from the town and their parents would either allow them to stay with a friend on a weekend night or collect them from wherever they were in the middle of the night so they wouldn't miss out.

Lived in various cities after leaving home and loved it. Couldn't imagine spending my late teens/early twenties in the country....

I now live close to the centre of a large market town, within easy reach of London. There is plenty for us and the kids to do, good parks and proper countryside a short distance away. During the holidays, we often don't use the car for days at a time. From what I have heard of small villages in this area, I don't think I would move anywhere more rural at this stage. One of the big issues around here is secondary school transfer - often difficult to get into the school of your choice if you live in an outlying area. Also have heard from people living in different parts of the UK that drug use etc in general is more common in rural areas due to boredom, etc.

schneebly · 07/04/2006 09:26

I grew up a a rural town with a population of around 6000 but when I was 13 we moved 10 miles out of town to a small village and I loved it. My friends lived there and it is a beautiful place with great beaches. We used to have great beach parties in summer and had more freedom than we would have had in town and there was always the excitement of tourists staying at the caravan park in the summer! There were buses to town or our parents would take turns dropping off/collecting us from the cinema etc. I still live there now and am delighted that my children will go to a fabulous school where teacher/pupil ratio is great and the children are very close. Locally there is also cubs/brownies, a youth club, football, shinty, sports club and a great community spirit. This is exactly the kind of childhood I want for my children and do not mind ferrying them 10 miles to the cinema etc when they are older. As for drugs etc - there are some in the town nearby but our village being mainly young families and retired people is pretty untouched by that sort of thing. We love visiting the city for the shops and facilities for kids (soft play etc) but always happy to come home.

hunkermunker · 07/04/2006 09:27

Suburbia, surely

Countryside in seconds, town too.

Everybody's 'appy.

caterpiller · 07/04/2006 10:12

Would agree with Pruni. Nice when they're small, maybe. Remember though, you have to be happy too. Villages and small towns can be cliquey(if that's how you spell it , kids as well as adults. If you're not accepted for some reason, you may hate it.

Pruni, where are you from?

ProfYaffle · 07/04/2006 11:44

I live in a rural market town and I think we've got the best of both worlds. We're on the edge of town so near fields/common etc but just 10 mins walk to shops, pubs, restaurants. 20 min train journey to nearest city and 90 min train journey to London.

I think there's enough to keep dd amused when she's older but there's very little crime here and I'd rather she grew up here than the very urban environment I grew up in.

I couldn't live in one of the tiny villages around here though, would drive me bonkers, not enough going on.

yorkiemom · 07/04/2006 16:28

I love the idea of country village living, but would probably drive me crazy, drving everywhere.Also so hard to think about moving now my little girl is soooo settled at school.

An ideal would be a seasidey village with a big next on the outskirts!!!!!

Pruni · 07/04/2006 20:39

caterpiller, grew up in Morayshire.
Arse end of nowhere.
Not near anywhere of interest.
Town vvv cliquey, nasty place really.
Despise it.

jamese · 07/04/2006 22:43

schneebly, if not giving too much away about yourself, where do you live, as it sounds just what I am looking for for my family. We have definately decided to move out of a large expanding town and am trying to find where to move to. I want just what you have but am struggling to find such a place...

jamsam · 08/04/2006 12:23

not sure where this thread is heading, but i will give you my opinion anyway!!
i left milton keynes 4 years ago and have never looked back. we are now in carmarthenshire, at the foot of the black mountain, in the brecon beacons national park.
the kids go to the small ( 100 kids) welsh school, im now a scout leader inthe closest town and the kids are happily bottlefeeding a lamb from the farm where i work. so...if you have the family support, are able to make friends and have a bit of cash incase something goes wrong i would asy move.
you dont need a wonderful home, a dry barn with good kitchien/bathroom is enough to start a whole new life.
when i moved i thought all my city friends would flock to me every year for free holidays, but so far only 2 have visited and all the others are out of contact after 4 years of me trying my hardest. so dont think that the city friends you have now will follow you...it easier for them not to!

notasheep · 08/04/2006 13:00

jamsam-you are in the same country as me-we did a big move-20 minutes from London to middle of nowhere.Like rural,but not isolated,there is a huge difference

Original poster

rosylizzie · 08/04/2006 19:11

wales is where we are thinking of heading too , any problems with integrating if you are english?

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