Just lost it with DCs, I can't cope with any more f***ing poo

[iwouldgoouttonight]

DS, age 6, never been reliably dry or clean since potty training, pants wet every day, poos in pants couple of times a week. Been several times to doctor, referred to hospital, scans on kidneys and bladder, nothing wrong with them. Now being referred to enurologist (sp?) to see if she can help. Also waiting for appt with school nurse continence team on 21st Dec.

Have tried reward charts, drinking more, alarm to remind him to go, Eric, nothing works.

Told him he can't go to friends after school because I can't expect other parents to change him or risk having him wee on their sofa. He doesn't seem bothered.

Just picked him up after school and he'd had to be changed twice, once after wee in pants and once after poo. Then got home and he had only been inside for less than ten minutes, I was in kitchen trying to wash his filthy clothes, went back into living room and both him and DD (age 3) had pooed in their pants. DD had been reliably dry/clean for about a year until recently when she has for some reason started to occasionally poo in her pants.

I just lost it, yelled at them both that they know full well that you do not poo in pants and if they do it again I will be very angry. They both looked terrified and burst into tears.

I've cleaned them up and apologised for shouting but said i'm still cross and upset that I have to clean their poo up.

I'm just fed up of it, I don't seem to be able to remain calm about it any more, why can't they just use the toilet?? Why do hospital referrals take months?? Why does my house smell permanently of wee?? Where have we gone so wrong???

Thanks both. 3littlefrogs I remember you gave me very good advice and its because of that we've actually pushed to get things done. Its just so frustrating it takes so long to get to this stage. We've had periods of six months or more when nothing happens apart from us trying to chase up to get another appointment, but now it feels as though they're taking us a bit more seriously. We've got another appointment and x-ray already booked in for when he's gone back up to the high dose of Movicol again to check that its worked.

Its just sad that for someone who maybe hadn't researched it or been able to find any advice online (and hadn't burst into tears and shouted at the consultant ), then they'd still be taking 2 sachets of Movicol a day and being told to see how that goes and we'll see you in 6 months.

And yes we're definitely going to be sticking with it. Now we've got this far, we need to keep up the Movicol and keep with the bowel exercises after meals, and keep going on at the hospital!

I've just found a post from me on here! Seriously though, this is beyond a joke. I really hope you've finally managed to get something sorted out but I would be having a meeting with the practice manager about why it's taken two years to diagnose a poorly child. Good job it wasn't something even worse.

Havnt read the whole thread but we had similar with ds1
We used a wobl wAtch which was set to vibrate at certain points throughout the day meaning when it vibrates he ha to go to the toilet
We also so a physiotherapist who told is ds has weak core muscles and hyper mobility so he had a course of physio and also hydrotherapy, the conclusion was that his internal muscles weren't strong enough to have complete bladder control.
May be a coincidence but he stopped having accidents around the same time. He still wets the bed occasionally and sometimes has a small wet patch in his pants if he's not quick enough.
Dd on the other hand mater toiletingproblems in a week at age 20 months
Ds2 on the other hand although not as bad as ds1 also soils himself so am going to take the exercises we did with ds1 and his gym ball and do them with ds2 in the hope to strengthen his muscles, unfortunately wobble watch is now broken so can't use that this time

I'm not one for normally suggesting people complain about health treatment, but I really think you should. It's disgusting he was mins diagnosed / ignored for YEARS!

Obviously I mean the doctors were ignoring him, not you!

All really common.
Please do ask about enemas as well - it was the only way that we finally broke this in ds, when he was 10. Our paed was completely on the ball and told us that if he soiled, he needed three nightly enemas to reset (on top of the movicol). He still has to toilet ten minutes after breakfast and dinner.
It takes such a long time as the nerves are totally desensitized after years of impaction, but it is so common.
Good luck x

That's shit advice from the doctors. Pun intended. Just relax and don't make a big deal it of it and they will grow out of it. Wonder how they would like changing poo pants on their six year old? Day after day, year in and year out.

You should make them go potty before you go anywhere. Don't ask, just tell.

Well done for updating us and good luck with treatment. Madwoman would you be able to give more details re your success with enemas. DS is nearly 10 and has no bowel sensation after years of misdiagnosis for impaction. We have never tried enemas. Fairly recently he had botox under general anaesthetic but that has not helped. That appears to be our gastroenterologists preferred option rather than enemas. I had asked re enemas and was told it was something we would have to commit to for two years so to think very seriously about it. However we will have to discuss it at our next appointment now we know the botox has not worked.

madwoman or anyone else with success with enemas?