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Parenting

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Original poster

Now this is a completely different baby....

34 replies

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 19:58

Sorry this is another thread from me I must seem really hopeless now

Dd is two next month and looking must have been the easiest baby. Putting her to bed was never an issue and still isn't, she slept through very early on and I always seemed to know why she was crying.

Ds is now nearly 7 weeks old and I am really floundering. He is so different, nothing that I used to do with dd works. I am finiding demanding feeding almost impossible because he is always crying, sometimes it is obviously colic others he just seems to be crying for the sake of it. He does sleep though, nods off. And he does sleep at night as long as he's tucked up beside me. During the day he'll nap on me and maybe in his carrycot, but then again maybe not. I just can not predict.

My question is this. Would a forced routine help him? Dare I say GF? This does go against the grain for me but maybe it might be what this chap needs?
I hate to hear him crying, it's so distressing, but honestly, I can't put dd to bed, or do any of my daily chores if I am holding him all the time.

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Callisto · 31/03/2006 20:06

Please don't do GF, get a sling and carry him around with you. What he needs is his mummy not enforced and questionable routines. Good luck.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:13

Thank you Callisto. I have a moby sling, which is great for settling him, I mean really excellent. However, I take him out of it when I'm in the kitchen or carrying clothes and cuddling dd, that's when the problem starts.
But I see what you are saying. I have no idea about GF TBH, just a suggestion.

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SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:13

Sling. I do most of my stuff with BabyDragon in a sling. It's not ideal but it works.

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SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:14

Cooked pancakes, emptied/filled the dishwasher, cooked tea, done the laundry, mumsnetted, gone to the toilet... all done with a sling.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:16

Soupdragon, does yours sleep at night too? i didn't know if he wasn't sleeping at night because he was sleeping all day in the sling.
I must be honest and say that I have reduced my use of the sling because I did wonder if that was why he wasn't sleeping away from me at night. I'm so afraid I'll clonk him, I don't don't sleep too well with him under my armpit.

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Posey · 31/03/2006 20:17

My 2 were the complete opposite, 1st baby sounds very like your 2nd. I didn't enforce any routine like GF (don't think she was invented then!), just carried her around a lot. It was bloody hard for 6 months, but then miraculously eased up. Got to say, if its any help in these difficult days, that that was nearly 9 years ago and since that first half year it has been plain sailing and a total joy.
Sorry if thats not too helpful, just wanted to lend some support.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:17

God Soupdragon I'm too clumsy to manage anything like that.
Are you tall? Maybe I'm just too short?

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SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:18

She sleeps from 7:30 until about 3am.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:18

Thank you Posey. That's what i'm hoping for

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SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:19

lol - I'm 5'7 It's one of those pouch slings so you can kind of shift the baby to one side of you.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:20

How old is she now.
How soon did you manage to settle her that early?

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SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:20

I do feel like the ancient mariner with a s*dding albatross hanging round my neck at times!

hex · 31/03/2006 20:21

His colic will presumably go by week 12. Both my kids had it but dd1 was worse - so bad that I ended up crying myself with just not knowing what to do. An elderly dr came to the rescue by saying 'glide baby through the air' - put them tummy facing down, pick them up this way, support their chin with one hand and put your other between their legs so your palm is resting on the front of their nappy. Lift them up in the air and glide back and forwards. dd1 immediately stopped crying. I don't know why it worked but it did and you get brilliant arm muscles as a result. dh used to do it mostly. You could try all the colic medecine stuff but a pharmacist told me that this was basically a panacea for the parents so they could do sthg until week 12 when it went away.
I'm not averse to GF but I think 7 weeks might be a little young for it. But I think 'demand feeding' is often misunderstood and the mistake i made with dd1 was thinking that every time she cried, she was hungry. So I'd breast feed her. What then happened was that she ended up taking too much foremilk (which caused wind) and not enough hindmilk to feel satisfied enough to go for longer without feeding. So I was giving her top-up feeds all the time of foremilk instead of making her wait a little longer so she'd be hungry enough to take a full feed. Also, because she wasn't sleeping brilliantly (presumably because she wasn't full), she'd fall asleep quickly at the breast cause she was tired and would never get to the hindmilk, so it was just a disaster cause she'd then wake up again hungry before she was due to. Presumably, you're swaddling him tight enough when you put him down. Would you consider a dummy?

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:22

I've got a wrap sling, it's great and very comfortable. I always use it in the supermarket but I can't get up close enough to work surfaces.

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SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:22

She'll be 8 weeks on Sunday and she's been building up to this since about 4 weeks I guess. First she was 3 hours, then it sneaked up to 4 etc etc. DSs were the same in this respect although they seemed to sleep all day too. Sigh.

I feed her lying on my bed and the leave her there til I go to bed (about an hour after her to gt maximum benefit!!) when I shift her to the moses basket. Miraculously she doesn't wake up although I figure I'd be able to feed her back to sleep again if she did.

fennel · 31/03/2006 20:24

can you get more childcare for dd?

what time does DH get home? can he put dd to bed?

or of you're alone in the evenings consider what they call a "tea time girl" - i love that phrase, a sort of mothers help to come for a couple of hours early evening to help with the grim bit.

i used slings a lot and co-sleeping. would prefer that to GF myself.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:28

I mentally come up against a brick wall when I think about a dummy, I really don't want to believe it to be necessary - bit of a naturalist you see.

I wonder about foremilk so I usually put him back on the same breast if it's within a 3 hour period.

You've given me things to think about though

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morningpaper · 31/03/2006 20:29

both of mine were like this so I assume it is normal :)

laudry - don't do it until DH comes home, then he can help, it's impossible to do it carrying baby

cooking - prepare everything for dinner during baby's nap or nite before

cuddling dd - as soon as baby naps, give loads and loads of attention to dd

mind you mine don't really sleep during the day EITHER so it's really just survving for the first 3 months - it DOES get better, by 4 months the shit part was over and it's so much more enjoyable - you can finally start enjoying life

SoupDragon · 31/03/2006 20:30

I gave DD a dummy last week out of desperation (I hate them but have never ruled them out). She actually reached up and pulled it out of her mouth with a look of disgust!

(OK, rationally I know that at 6-7 weeks she lacked the coordination etc etc to actually do this but that's what it looked like and it made me laugh :o)

morningpaper · 31/03/2006 20:32

I used a dummy and it was a marvel

think they are common and dreadful but I'd give her a cigaette for 10 minutes peace

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:33

Soup dragon I do something very similar to you but later. I (try) to feed him to sleep at 10pm, so I can go to bed at 11. He'll have been feeding off me all evening. (Err I've just noticed he's still asleep now)
He will hopefully last til 2 or 2.30, but getting him back to sleep is the bugger. Everytime I move then his eyes snap open, he'll only sleep again under my armpit!!

Hi Fennel! I put dd to bed because I feel that is precious time for mummy and dd. She still struggles with me breast feeding ds

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morningpaper · 31/03/2006 20:35

I only moved mine once they passed the floppy-arm test - lift arm and if any resistence, don't move. Only move when TOTALLY floppy

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:36

I think I was dreadfully spoilt by dd, she must have been soo easy.
As Fennel, says because she was easy I stupidly thought it was a great idea to have another so soon.

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Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:37

I like that morningpaper. That's a good test

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Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 31/03/2006 20:38

I must go now, I need to eat. Thank you all.

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