Sigh. Please stop trying to "fix" my daughter.

[Jennyrosity]

I'm just getting a bit tired of all the well-meaning people who only seem to see negatives in my 9 month old DD. Yes, she's a terrible sleeper (and no, I'm not going to do controlled crying, but that is not intended as a judgement on the fact that you did, I just don't want to), and yes, she's "still" breastfed, although I'm not sure at this age why there is an emphasis on "still", and no, she will not eat purees, but as she eats practically everything else I don't see that as a problem; and yes, she can be hard work at times, but all babies can be, and she's also a lively, funny, happy little soul and I wouldn't change her for the world, lack-of-sleep notwithstanding, so please, please, stop treating her as a problem to be solved!

good, so long as you weren't backing off thinking you'd done something awful somehow.

I'm with Aitch. I agreed with your first post, Max.

OP it sounds to me like your friends see someone who is very tired and rather stressed and they are offering you the benefit of their experience. If they annoy you so much, stop seeing them.

People are weird aren't they. Fwiw DS sleeps with us, wakes nearly every hour through the night, and is still bf on demand. This week he's been ill and has had virtually no food, but lots of bmilk. All good and yet people will comment

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed about this. FWIW I think it's perfectly clear that you are doing an amazing job. But I think you know that actually! That's not the problem is it?

Like you said maybe your new mum friends aren't quite kindred spirits - but try not to judge them too harshly. They may feel jealous and defensive; or they may just be misreading what it is you are wanting to hear. Either way, I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment (note to self here too!) but feeding is just a small part of parenting and you may find that you have more in common - parenting style wise - when your children are a little older.

I hope this thread hasn't made you more annoyed. We're all just doing our best I think. I probably put my foot in it all the time with other mothers but I only ever mean to be nice. I really don't see other people's parenting choices as any of my business. It's just conversation!

I get stressed about it too OP - it really annoys me. You are not alone. But guess people come across differently to how they want to alot of the time and don't mean to sound as rude as they clearly (to me lol) are being. So guess we just have to be the bigger person and wear the fixed smile. But its very annoying.....

I suspect it's partly due to to us all being first-time mums - the ones who think they've cracked it get a bit evangelical.

Oh I SO hear you... I'm currently going through a phase of feeling not very adequate as a mother - all very much hormonally induced and cyclical, but it means I'm so so fed up with all the advice etc that gets thrown at me - I worry enough on my own, thanks. :-)

Plus every baby is different! Trick for one won't work for another.

I have to keep telling me that my baby is happy and smiling and what else can you ask for??

Jenny.

Your dd sounds just perfect and so does her mum.

You have to do what you feel is right for your dc and sod what anybody else says or thinks. Some people make me

You could try an LLL group - they are great for just being able to vent without people telling you where you are going wrong.

I think maybe this won't matter so much when your dcs are older. The friends I have now with dcs, all parent in different ways, but no-one really pays much attention to the minutiae of it. I think when they are babies there is more talk about weaning and feeding and all the rest.

Really no-one is perfect and everyone is muddling through. You say you are being picked apart here in the same way you are in rl, but that is only because you asked the question!

child rearing is quite hard and tiring
do what you need to survive
someone will always tell you you're doing it wrong
ignore them

She didnt ask hazey thats kind of the point ^^