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Parenting

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Original poster

cant believe im upset about this

49 replies

nailpolish · 30/03/2006 13:28

dd1 has made lots of friends at her playgroup and we have started having lots of 'playdates' (for want of a better word)

she (and i! and dd2) have lots of fun, its great for me because i can sit and have a gossip and cup of tea with the other mum, dd's can play with their friends

BUT

i get really upset (really) and embarrassed because the other girls have about 10 times as many toys as dd1 has. i come home and feel upset when i see her small pile in the corner

dont laugh, its bothering me a lot

we have quite small rooms in our house, we dont have room for big toys like play kitchens, painting easels or anything

and dd1 is quite specific in what she likes - puzzles, jigsaws, colouring in, her small dolls house and thats about it. so thats what we buy.

she hardly has anything else

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PinkTulips · 30/03/2006 13:31

aaaaww, bless. does she notice the differance or is it just you looking at it from a adult and (no offence meant) slightly materialistic viewpoint?

mummygow · 30/03/2006 13:31

nailpolish the more toys they have the less they play with - she knows what she likes and is happy. All children like other children's toys better than their own!!

JackieNo · 30/03/2006 13:32

I know what you mean. DD hasn't got any shortage of toys by any means, but when we go to other people's houses, I'm always amazed at the amount and variety of stuff they have, both indoors and in the garden. Part of me feels embarrassed, but actually whenever anyone comes round, the children never say 'but you haven't got a....whatever' - they just go off and play with whatever's there. Do yours do the same?

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throckenholt · 30/03/2006 13:33

most kids have way to many toys in my opinion. If she is happy with what she has and you don't have room for more - don't worry about it.

CarlyP · 30/03/2006 13:33

you dont have to feel bad. from the 'other side' we have a palyroom fullof toys.....which i then get rid of 6mths later when they hanvet even been touched.........if your daughter is secure, happy and loved.....a room full of toys means NOTHING.

she knows what she likes and is happy, so dont worry. (i mostly buy toys out of guilt from not seeing my children enough....working mum syndrome!!!)

expatinscotland · 30/03/2006 13:34

Yeah, but I'll bet your kids get to use their imagination more? Fewer toys = more chances to use their imagination.

matnanplus · 30/03/2006 13:35

Please don't worry, she has what she really wants at home and can play with the things she doesn't when she is away from home.

I have found the less they have, the more they play with it and the more fun they have when at someone elses home.

You might find some of the other mum's wish they could be as controlled in their buying as you are

Original poster

nailpolish · 30/03/2006 13:35

she always make a beeline for the playkitchen. i just dont know where i would put one in our house. one girl has a bleedin' treehouse ffs

i feel ridiculous

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 30/03/2006 13:37

wow! we live in a dinky flat that doesn't even have a garden, so don't feel too bad.

matnanplus · 30/03/2006 13:37

If you had a play kitchen nailpolish then it wouldn't be some much fun for dd when visiting a freind with one!

CarlyP · 30/03/2006 13:38

my boys fav toys are......books, tools, and arty crafty stuff......so id otn think quantity matters, its quality and what they enjoy

PinkTulips · 30/03/2006 13:39

don't feel bad, we all want the best for our little angels and can't always give it, like loads of people have said, just because a toy is fun at someone elses house doesn't necessarily mean they'll play with it much if you actually bought it. she sounds like a lovely, creative child so as long as you nurture that she really does have ore than these other kids

on a bit of a tangent, my play kitchen was always kept in an un-used en-suite as we had nowhere else for it

Original poster

nailpolish · 30/03/2006 13:41

i feel like shit mum

she likes helping me round the house (she gets excited about sorting washing and being let loose with a feather duster)

or we make pancakes

or if she is playing on her own she paints at the kitchen table, reads her books or does a puzzle

BUT IS THAT BECAUSE THATS ALL SHES GOT?????????

OP posts:

Caligula · 30/03/2006 13:41

I bet some of them come into your place and envy the fact that it doesn't look like Toys R Us.

Why do you feel so bad about it? Do you feel your DD is missing out?

CarlyP · 30/03/2006 13:42

STOP IT YOU SILLY MARE!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUR WITH YOUR DAUGHTER, GIVING HER YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION............DOES IT GET ANY BETTER......

be happy that you are there for her and she enjoys being with you, doing 'fun' things.

Original poster

nailpolish · 30/03/2006 13:42

i feel bad because she seems to have more fun when she is playing at someone elses house

OP posts:

mummygow · 30/03/2006 13:42

NP I agree with ES she will use her imagination more and I think (well my dd does) children enjoy playing with the reall McCoy - give her the pots, cutlery and wooden spoons - she will have a ball!!

beetroot · 30/03/2006 13:44

NP, how wonderful to have so few toys. Your child will grow up knowing the menaing of play, it will encourage her imagination. She will know the value of things and not be spoilt. AND most imprtantly have some taste and know how a grown ups hose shoudllook...tidy, and free of toys ..

I hate toys..chuck out asap im my house

mummygow · 30/03/2006 13:45

NP stop beating yourself up, it's not really the toys she is enjoying but the company - do you not get bored looking at your own four walls sometimes, then when you go to someone elses house have agreat time - it's still four walls but youv'e enjoyed the company!!

sobernow · 30/03/2006 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 30/03/2006 13:46

'i feel bad because she seems to have more fun when she is playing at someone elses house '

well, yeah, didn't we all? it's sort of like the grandma effect - you go to grandma's and get to do forbidden things like eat sweets and drink fizzy juice.

mummygow · 30/03/2006 13:46

here here SN

Original poster

nailpolish · 30/03/2006 13:51

she is a very popular child, i dont mind boasting about that. and she is very good at sharing (she has to share with her baby sister!)

i think i will go and have a clearout of some of the toys she doesnt use anymore (old torn books, ancient playdoh) and maybe treat her to some new people for the dolls house, new playdoh, and her very favourite dressing up things

thanks everyone x

OP posts:

Ledodgy · 30/03/2006 13:55

Np my dd hasn't got alot of toys compared to some of her friends and her cousins but I have noticed how much more of an imagination she has developed bacuse of this, she moves the dining room chairs to play buses and cars, she uses a sheet to make a den , she uses the book shelves as houses for the dolls she does have and uses old cups , plates and spoons etc. to make parties for her dolls. She also does alot of art and craft which she loves. Whenever my friend's little girl comes round who has lots of toys it's my dd that initiates little imaginative games for them to play even though my friend's little girl is nearly 2 years older than dd. I also remember being like this as a child and the games that stand out for me when I was little were imaginative games I played with my friends. Toys have a limited lifespan when it comes to remaining interesting, children's imaginations are endless.

fruitful · 30/03/2006 13:58

If you put some of your pots and pans on the kitchen table, she's got a play kitchen.

My dd always has a lot more fun at her best friend's house. The friend always has a lot more fun here. Sometimes they argue a lot - her mum and I joke that we should just swap children for the afternoon while they play with each other's stuff.

The secret is to work out what they really like. If I threw away all of dd's toys except the Polly Pocket, she'd be fine!

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