cant believe im upset about this

[nailpolish]

dd1 has made lots of friends at her playgroup and we have started having lots of 'playdates' (for want of a better word)

she (and i! and dd2) have lots of fun, its great for me because i can sit and have a gossip and cup of tea with the other mum, dd's can play with their friends

BUT

i get really upset (really) and embarrassed because the other girls have about 10 times as many toys as dd1 has. i come home and feel upset when i see her small pile in the corner

dont laugh, its bothering me a lot

we have quite small rooms in our house, we dont have room for big toys like play kitchens, painting easels or anything

and dd1 is quite specific in what she likes - puzzles, jigsaws, colouring in, her small dolls house and thats about it. so thats what we buy.

she hardly has anything else

Nailpolish - you're my hero! I want to have that few toys.
IMO this isn't something to feel bad about, you should be proud of yourself. I'm not being funny - most children have far too many toys and it's great that your dd is so good at concentrating that she likes things like jigsaws and colouring in. And she has a dollshouse ffs, so she's hardly deprived!

I don't plan to buy bigger toys like play kitchens, not because of space but because I simply don't see the need and my dd will have plenty of chance to play with them at nursery. The only thing I plan to make an exception for is outdoor play equipment as there are no climbable trees in our area and I would like her to play outside when she's bigger.

As for the laundry sorting and the pancake making - what a fantastic dd you've got!

yes! we have buses out of the kitchen chairs and dens made from clothes horses and sheets

art and craft is dd1's middle name - she will sit and paint, cut paper and stick for ages

your post has helped a bit ledodgy thanks

my boys all make a beeline for the play kitchen at friends houses - but I am not worried that we should have one (no room either) - they have enough other things to play with. And invariably they don't play with toys in the way they are meant to - they have more fun with the box, or sticking them all in a big heap (packing to go on holiday my kids calls it - I call it a mess )

yes thats true about them playing with the bigger toys at nursery. she goes to playgroup for 2 hrs a day and they have all the big toys there like the playkitchen

itll be better in the summer when they can run around in the garden

We used to have a 'box box' in the kitchen in which all the empty boxes went to make things out of. At the start of the school holidays my mum used to go down to the electrical shop and ask for an old cardboard box from a fridge or washing machine which we would turn into a house or a rocket or whatever.
Ah, we were poor but we were happy

nailpolish - my mum spoils our ds and for the past 3 years he has been the only child in our family. Therefore he has sooo many toys.

We have a small 2 bedroom house (very small) and his toys are everywhere and can I add that they are such a waste. He never uses at least 90% of them. I really wish now that instead of indulging him we should have put the money in an account for him.

He gets more enjoyment out of his 'telescope' collection (ie. toilet roll holders!!!!!!)

However when he visits other peoples houses he thinks that their toys are great and plays well with them - this is because they are a novelty. If they were at my house I am sure he would ignore them!

Anyway, I am planning a massive bootsale in the summer and will be slinging loads of his toys. Like you we just dont have the room.
So dont worry - what she has is fine and believe me she will care for her toys and appreciate things alot more.

Nailpolish, even if she did have loads of toys, your dd's favourite games might be the same - making dens, jigsaws and so on. Ds has way too many toys - mainly because friends and relatives have been very generous. But his favourite games are things like putting two dining chairs together to make a bus or train, or getting mummy to dance with him.

i do feel better now, thanks (your last post there made me lol kathy)

now i must go and clear some of her old stuff out while shes at playgroup, thatll make me feel a bit better too

thanks everyone x

Nailpolish I always feel when we go round to other people's houses that we have much less here. I'm looking at it all now and there's really not a lot in comparison to some of my friends' children's houses.
But the most popular things here are pots and pans, cardboard tubes, stickers, books etc.
It sounds to me like you and your dd have a good thing going on with the cooking and cleaning - don't knock it, it is not a poor second best to a room chock full of plasticky noisy flashing toys!!!

Where is F+Z and her heuristic play stuff? And don't Montessori stress the importance of real objects instead of scaled down play versions?

We have tons of toys (inlaws grrrr) but dd1 is happy with a sticker book from Sainsbury's for £1.49 and dd2 plays with a potato masher and a hot water bottle. Make of that what you will!

What I have found is that children are always fascinated more with other childrens toys, they are a novelty.

So you may find you would purchase that hideous play kitchen, squeeze it in and it would be ignored.

keep smiling nailpolish xxxx

Oh NP
I agree with others, wish we had fewer toys (3 children and I don't think I buy that much but still we have lots).
We never had a play kitchen tho, no room, and all 3 of mine went straight for that at toddler group - just cause it's different!
Doesn't mean they need it at home.
In fact I have bought things for home that they liked at toddlers and not played with at home! (that Little Tikes road and rail set springs to mind, v cheap at school fair tho, DS2 has played with it so little I'm giving it away, but he still plays with it at toddler group lol.
Anyway, even with her dolls' house, dolls' cot etc dd will still play endlessly with things like a shoebox and a bit of ribbon. Current fave things are a lunchbox carton from M&S with a feather and a sequin inside - these MUST NOT BE THROWN AWAY!
Don't worry, sounds to me like you have a well-adjusted and imaginative little girl.

It is proven that if your child has less toys, they have to rely on their imagination more and as a result they grow up more creative than those kids who had toys coming out of their ears. Spoilt children are never satisified and always want more than they already have, whereas the children who have little, are happy with their lot and have more appreciation.

So there!

I feel like a crap Mummy because of the ludicrous volume of crap toys DS has. When I go to houses with a more selective range, that actually get PLAYED with, and the house isn't under such deluge, I feel quite envious, and admiring of their discipline and common sense!

I'm not just saying this, I mean it!

thanks for all making me feel slightly better. i must go now and sort out some of her old toys, make some room for a new set of paints or playdoh.

xx

They all have more fun playing at someone else's house!

I'm hugely embarrassed by the state of DSs playroom. There are too many things and it means they don't play with any of them.

Well Soupy, at least I'm relieving you of one video!

That is so true SD. Our three have a fair bit, but if I limit it to a few things they have much more fun than when they have the run of the toys. Too many and they just tip the lot out and sit in the mess looking overwhelmed..

Btw the other day dh had something posted to us in a huge cardboard box. We gave the box to the children and they played and played with it! A big plain brown box and they had more fun with that than anything I saw them with at Christmas.

i think your child nailpolish will have far more fun and wonderful memories doing things with you than playing with a plastic kitchen.

Another happy memory - doing dolls' washday in a bowl on the floor with my granny while she did her washing in an old twintub she had to hold onto throughout the cycle to stop it leaping around the kitchen!
Yikes, just realised I was being conditioned into traditional gender roles - Nailpolish, hope you get your dd to play at washing the car and mowing the lawn as well as dusting

my dd is very lucky and has lots and lots of toys, so many that iv sent a box to my mums, and my aunts, and i can honestly say that she never touches any of them, shes got lovely paints and kids pens and yet prefers an old biro on a receipt, and her all time favourite is an old mobile phone and a bunch of keys, if your dd really likes the toys she has, and is perfectly happy with them, why spend the money, and have the clutter of big bulky toys like kitchens ect.

I guess I must have had quite a few toys as a child, but I can't really remember them in detail.

I do however clearly remember baking with my mum and doing her hair and she used to dress me up as a princess etc. I think it's people and things you did as a child that stand out rather than specific toys.

I also remember making rather a lot of mess with the mud in the garden - my parents eventually spent some money turfing the garden properly so it would be nicer for me to play in it and I refused to go out there anymore!

nailpolish i ave noticed that in friends houses too some children have loads of stuff but then i hear oh grandad got that for him or that was a present from X, so maybe those kids you see have generous grandparents or friends.

my neighbour dropped in a load of stuff for my ds the other day, i rarely speak to this woman and it was a lovely thing for her to do as ds loves them and i felt a bit embarressed when she said would he have any usefor them - he hasnt stopped playing with them.

ihave cleared out a lot of stuff now (old babyish jigsaws, etc) and the toy box looks clearer now. i have sorted her stuff into piles - arty stuff, dolls house with little people, and puzzles/jigsaws. she also has her pegasus styling head, and ive found a few hairbands that i thought had got lost!

just off to collect her from playgroup now

thanks again for your kind words x