cc support SUPPORT ONLY PLEASE no judgement

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

In the midst of it right now and feel like my heart is ripping in 2. Crying my eyes out please someone give me support! Last resort can"t cope with dd waking every 2 hrs after 6 months of sleeping 11 solid hrs. Please NO JUDGEMENT everyone in the house is exhausted its the last resort can"t cope with walking the streets shattered in tears anymore. Dd is constantly shattered now too. She is 11 months and slept 11 soild hrs for the last 6 months. Not teething, not ill. Was ill hence why cuddled to sleep co slept and now shes well her sleep is completely screwed up. Please really need support.

It feels counterintuitive because it is. When people consider having children don't they realise that they may lose some sleep for a few years. I couldn't care less about your non-judgemental plea, I think this sounds like a vile, cruel way to make your child sleep. I wouldn't ignore the crys of anyone let alone my own baby. Made my blood boil hearing about how your baby is in a state of distress and you're sat on a bloody public forum asking total strangers how to raise your child, what the f**k has the world come to!

mummahubba Nice one. Helpful. You don't have to agree with what the OP has chosen to do but some us, including children, function better with good sleep. Many of us think it is an ok route to choose to have their children sleep through the night and certainly at 11 mo it is not unrealistic.

Yes you do need to carry it on for night wakings, assuming you've ruled out hunger, nappy ect.

mummahubba ''public forum asking total strangers how to raise your child'' Wasn't that the reason why mumsnet started?

Each to their own. CC is not about leaving a child to cry for any period it's about them learning that actually they are okay to feel comfortable in their own company. It's about frequent reassurance, which can be every minute, but also for most people we are better parents with happier children if we too have had some rest. None of us can truly judge another's situation because we haven't walked in their shoes. My dd slept through the night from day 1 so I am obviously a perfect parent except with an Autistic DS1 who has terrible sleep issues and a DS2who is a light sleeper and sent me almost insane with 18months of not going more than 1.5hrs I knew that with dd, my third child, I was just lucky.

Many right ways of raising happy healthy children.

Keep going. Learning to settle themselves is key. If she is able to do it at bedtime and nap times then she will learn to do it at 10pm and 4am. It took us about four nights of what almost amounted to CIO (I know, I know ) to break the 4am wake. But it wasn't for hunger or for the nappy, she had just learnt to be resettled, and hopefully it will work for your DD too.

Does she have any particular toy or comforter in the cot with her? We've found that works really well. DD has a little comfort blanket that she sleeps with, I can see that she uses it as when I go to bed its the other side of the cot, but when I get her up in the morning she has it back. I read somewhere a comforter can really help them to resettle themselves in the middle of the night.

Good luck with it.

Comforters ate great until they lose them and needy mummy to find them at 3.00am.., :-s

Ate= are! needy= need!!! Silly phone!

Ignoring the fact that you've broken Talk Guidelines there LYFMB, there are plenty of non-nutritional reasons for babies waking in the night.

I'm not going to judge on cc, your baby is yours, your decisions are yours to make. However, she is your PFB and the rest of the children in the world are not the same as she is.

Some of us are unlucky given children who think that sleep is an optional extra. I used to joke that my own pfb dd was going to grow up to be like Churchill and Maggie Thatcher - surviving on only 3 hours sleep a night.

Things change, situations change, and what works for one child/parent may not work for another. In another six months, things may change again - in fact they probably will change when she learns to walk - and cc may work again, or it may not.

Learning to parent is very much like growing through your teenage years IMO, you start off with a whole list of "Never will I ever" until you eventually say "Well, what the hell, I might try". And guess what? The world doesn't end even if you do that thing.

Now, lets try and PARD (polite and reasonable discourse) and take on other's opinions even if we don't agree with them ourselves, because that is the nature of the human race, and the act of growing as a person.

Hmm, did you mean to be so rude love?
You are within your rights to ignore people that you disagree with, but abuse is just rude, unpleasant and will put people off helping you.

Really pleased for you love that its worked and you can finally catch up on some desperately needed rest.

I understand the sentiment and frustration expressed in your last messages but are they something you want permanently linked to your user ID with ongoing use of the site? You can request that your own posts are withdrawn and then walk away from this thread now that things have worked for you.

I hope that you continue to have many sleep filled nights.

No clearly its not acceptable for me to use such language but I stand by the sentiment. I was broken and needed some support why click in this thread just to kick someone when they are down.

I always go in every couple of mins check happy, water, cuddle then when she starts falling asleep on me I know she is still tired and nothing is wrong with her and at 10pm or 4am doeant need to start the day.

Will apologise to the mn community for the language but not the sentiment. Think mummahubba was extremely out of line there.

didn't see your posts before they were deleted but I can understand why you reacted angrily to mummahubba's excessively unhelpful post. Yes, you do need to do CC at each waking. Hang in there x

Did you mean to be so rude! Er yes I'd say.

Have a swear if you like love. Can't say I blame you.

Thank you trixie and pickled, happy to report back that she's back to sleeping 11-12 hrs a night again. Took abt 3/4 days to get her back into it.

Good news.

CC works! Sanity returns and life goes on. Sod the sanctimonious clap trap from those who aren't exhausted and can't appreciate the torture that is sleep deprivation for both parent and child.

So pleased for you that you persisted with your style of parenting. Mum knows best.

Thats great news

With my dd I did the following (please note, this is not from any parenting book, just something I was comfortable with that worked for us)

Go into nursery with the lights low, read a story, turn lights off, give milk.

Lay baby on my chest to wind.

Lay baby in the cot, kiss, say good night and leave the room.

Baby stands up and cries. I wait outside for one minute.

I go back in, lay baby down and offer remaining milk. If she accepts, burp and then straight back down. Leave room.

Baby stands up and cries. I time one minute.

Go back in, lay baby down, rub tummy for a few seconds and leave.

Baby stands up and cries. I time one minute.

Go back in, lay baby down, rub tummy for a few seconds and then leave.

The last two points had to be repeated a fair few times for about 3 nights before baby understood that she was just going to bed and mummy was right outside and fell asleep within five minutes. Once I had put her into bed I tried not to pick her up again unless she had taken some milk and needed winding (leaving her laying down can sometimes lead to a sicky burp). I think picking the baby back up once you have put them down can be confusing and actually lengthen the process. With the 4 am wakings I gave her some milk and then put her back down did the same. This quickly led to dd getting into a habit of taking a little milk and then sleeping in until 6am. She then quite quickly dropped the bottle and slept through herself.

Sleep training is hard work and the method you use has to be right for you. I couldnt leave dd to cry for longer than one minute because it upset me too much to hear her cry. However, if I stayed in the room and tried to sooth her that way she screamed bloody murder to the point that she was actually sick. Leaving the room was actually better for her because she cried a complaining cry rather than a raging, screaming cry. Good luck, I hope things improve soon.

Mamabear that almost exactly what I did. I always go in between 1-4 mins, pick up, cuddle and lay back down. Some ppl hear the word crying and freak out but its not like she's left to cry for hours or even minutes on end, I always go in and comfort. So glad its worked again great to see her so rested