cc support SUPPORT ONLY PLEASE no judgement

[LoveYouForeverMyBaby]

In the midst of it right now and feel like my heart is ripping in 2. Crying my eyes out please someone give me support! Last resort can"t cope with dd waking every 2 hrs after 6 months of sleeping 11 solid hrs. Please NO JUDGEMENT everyone in the house is exhausted its the last resort can"t cope with walking the streets shattered in tears anymore. Dd is constantly shattered now too. She is 11 months and slept 11 soild hrs for the last 6 months. Not teething, not ill. Was ill hence why cuddled to sleep co slept and now shes well her sleep is completely screwed up. Please really need support.

But then, I'm still cosleeping with DS3, as it is the only way I get ANY sleep. I just find that sleep matters more to me than DS3 being in his own bed for the whole night.

I have realised that if it has to be a choice between stridently insisting DS3 stays in his own bed, but getting more and more sleep deprived, or giving up for now, cosleeping, and actually SLEEPING, sleep wins out.

None of my 4 DC's have coslept past their 4th birthday, in fact only one if them did for that long, and that was because she developed more slowly due to her SN's.

www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2012/09/20/3594161.htm
Actually the latest research into CC shows no long-term effects on children. OP, hang in there. We did it for DD and the first couple of nights were grim, even with DP staying up in solidarity, so I feel for you, but it does work.

If she starts her day at 4am, have you looked at how long she is napping in the daytime for?

I have found that some DC's naming no names, DS1 and DS3 just can't have a decent daytime nap AND stay asleep to a reasonable time in the morning much past 10 months old.

If her nap is at lunchtime or after, it might be worth pulling her nap earlier. And gradually making it shorter.

OP you sound absolutely on the edge, and I really do sympathise. I have barely slept more than 5 hours in a block for the last 4 years.

I do agree with Couthy though that there are better ways to do this.

I think, OP, you are placing too much on yourself trying to do this, when there are easier ways to solve the problem that won't leave you in bits, and won't leave your baby screaming.

Gentle retreat DOES work. I've done it 3 times so far, twice with DC's with SN's, one who was non verbal so only had crying to communicate with, and he didn't cry at all. And I won't hesitate to do the same when DS3 is showing signs that he no longer wants or needs to cosleep.

Trust your instincts. There's a definite difference between upset crying & just making noise. Lots of patents say that babies have to grizzle a bit to sleep. I was lucky in that ds actually cried for shorter time when I left him to it than in the preceding months when I'd felt obliged to stay in room & pat his back etc & try to sooth him off to sleep (2 hrs + patting and soothing vs 15min being left to grizzle and then after 2 days just going off to sleep no fuss. I waited til 9 -10 months or so to do this & if made life sooo much easier). I did feed to sleep at one point too, esp if he woke in the night.

I can't say you're doing the right thing because I don't know exactly how you are doing cc. I'd say be consistent is important. Keep going now you've started sleep training. It will work out in the end

And a hug. I would say abandon CC for tonight, and maybe try something gentler that someone who is already sleep deprived can see through.

I've just noticed that your OH wont help. WHAT THE FUCK?!

He will sleep for the full night, while you get more and more sleep deprived?!

Is he a fucking brain surgeon or something? Does he hold the lives of other people in his hands when he is at work? Because if not, then he's a selfish prick.

Does he get up with the DC's on his days off? If not, I can tell you what I'd be doing - I'd book a hotel room for the night before his next day off, leave the DC's with him, and I'd fuck off and get some sleep.

Let him get up at 4am and have to fucking do everything. I can tell you that the resentment of MY ex doing that is EXACTLY why he's an ex!

first off OP ((hug)) and I think we should have a [pillow] emoticon to wish you sleep! CC can work and I did it with my two for a few nights each (though the longest we ever had to endure was 11 mins). I have just been listening to DD bang around in her cot for 30 mins before deciding she will in fact have a nap. There are limits though and 45 mins does sound an awful lot. Persevere for a few more nights and IF the time is reducing, keep going. If its not, maybe do try a different approach such as gentle retreat or whatever is called. I also think your DP is being an ARSE and how can he possibly BE sleeping anyway if your Dc is making that much noise? If he really refuses to help then here's what you do: this weekend, during the day, or during if the night if you can, go to your parent's, a friend's, a travelodge, whatever and SLEEP and let him deal with it. Yes he has work and having one baby at home is NOT comparable to that but it doesn't give him carte blanche to do sod all. He can go to bed an hour earlier and still help. Hang in there and well done for doing something. DS was great for a year, then we had 6 months of mid-night waking before we finally did CC and got our lives back within a week.

Took an hour in the end, then she woke at 4am for the day as usual so did cc again and it took 3 mind, she then one for the day at 6.30am. She's been laughing and clapping all day so far so am sure I haven't physiologically damaged her.

I just hope tonight is easier than last night, last night was horrific and can't bare to go though that again. I'm so gad she slept so well compared to when she's in our bed and wakes every hour.

Co sleeping doesn't work for everyone. It makes dd wake just as frequently as in her cot pre cc.

Like fuck CC is damaging

I'll be around tonight for hand-holding if you need it

Thank you qt and anya...dreading tonight...

Wishing you the strength to get through. It took DS three exhausting nights, I was a single parent and felt ready to fall apart. The world is so much easier after a good night and cc can and will get you there if you can just maintain enough strength to get through those critical few nights that appear to do the trick for most.

We've had the odd hiccup over the years usually associated with illness, he's 6 now, but I don't regret it for my sanity or his.

How is it going?

Hope it goes well OP. I don't agree with it for mine because they have reflux but I would consider it if not because lack of sleep is AWFUL. My dd is also do miserable with lack of sleep. Sad to see.

Work on naps too. I'd go for a 9am cat nap and 1pm post lunch nap.

Hope you have a better night tonight.

I am currently redoing it with my son Op. It is torture. He is a very very persistent little chap but not sleeping on a regular basis is not an option for me as i have a history of MH problems triggered by sleep dep among other things.

Stay strong. You can do it.

Every night I put dd down awake she now goes to bed awake and sleeps without cryinh but still wakes twice a night 10pm and 4am why?? I thought putting them down awake was the key? Shall I keep doing cc ay those times too?

Yes. She will get there in the end. Awful but worth it. Good luck. Be consistent and next week, you'll be the one supporting others!

Good on you. Sounds like great progress. I used cc at in the night waking times and they too got better.

DS2 is a light sleeper, but I don't often get up to him now. He wakes and fidgets and resettles.

loveyou we had this too. unfortunately I do think you need to take the same approach to middle of the night waking. consistency is key i agree. you have broken the back of it. keep going.