Toddler refusing to brush teeth - does it matter?

[jujumum78]

DS is almost 2yrs and will only chew not brush. He shrieks if I try to brush his teeth for him and doesn't like toothpaste (fair enough he'll only swallow it anyway!). I don't want to push him too hard because he hasn't quite got the dexterity yet and I want it to be a fun thing (I have tried making up fun songs etc while brushing). Will I really ruin his teeth if I don't force him now? They're going to fall out anyway.

I think tooth brushing is one of those things (like seat belts and holding hands to cross the road) that you just have to force them to do. At 2 he can't understand the consequences of not brushing teeth - rotten teeth, dental work etc - so pin him down and do it. They might fall out anyway, but letting them decay first will be painful and distressing for him.

I have the same situation so watching with interest. His diet is appalling too which is worrying.

I've ended up letting him brush his teeth (ds is 2). He won't let me do it, last time I tried he ended up banging his head and cutting his mouth and it was traumatic for both of us. He will clamp his mouth tightly shut, so it is virtually impossible anyway. He does do quite a good job himself and I watch him to make sure he does the back ones. Not sure what else to do. He is very strong!

Toddler under arm, as soon as mouth opens to scream, get in there with the brush as fast as you can. Keep fingers out so you don't get bitten. Eventually, they learn to let you do it without too much fuss. Does need to be done though.

I can't force him, I Just can't. He's old enough to be confused and upset if I do and will interpret it as a bad thing. He does chew on the toothbrush and now and again I get a quick brush (when he's distracted!). He doesn't have juice or sweets in his diet - this is why I wonder how harmful it really is if I ease him in gradually. Does anyone have more gentle tips?......

Do it together and have a race

Get a timer

Character toothbrushes or a batttery operated one

Plus you have to make him do it, it's not optional

Google 'brushbaby' .

Let him do yours while you do his

Sorry, posted too soon. It's a rubbery teether/ toothbrush that cleans while they chew. Good till they're old enough to reason with a bit more.

Madlizzy - I've done the same thing with all my Dcs.

You only have to do it for the first 3 or 4 times OP then they realise that it's just a job that's got to be got through and will quite happily show you how well they can do it themselves. He will still love you.

I have a nephew who had to have all his baby teeth removed at 4.

His diet was good (no fruit juice or sweets) but it was the dried fruit snacks that caused the tooth decay and the dentist said his teeth weren't that strong to begin with, some peoples aren't, and there isn't any way of telling at that age.

I let DS brush his own but have a 2nd little toothbrush for me and every I sneak in to get the back ones while he does it himself. He also enjoys squeezing his own toothpaste on .

Try different toothpastes. You can get strawberry flavour and some glittery ones too.

Taking good care of milk teeth is essential, despite the fact that they fall out. The adult teeth grow underneath, so as far I am aware, rotten milk teeth can create problems with adult teeth as well.

I let my DS brush my teeth while I brush his. Or I give him one toothbrush to do it himself and have another toothbrush with which I brush his teeth. Also I do stuff like animal sounds, open my mouth really wide, singing songs etc. I tend to rotate the 'techniques' from day to day so it's always a novel experience. It's by no means easy though!

I understand your situation. Dd is just 2 and in the morning she sucks in the toothbrush but every night I wrap her in my arms for a proper brush - screaming/ crying and all :(. But please get some toothpaste into him - it contains fluoride which is very important for their teeth. In many countries they add it to the drinking water in small amounts but not in the uk. Dentists will also provide a fluoride treatment (at a cost I expect).

Good luck - just remember its worth it as adult teeth can grow in decayed if the baby teeth are badly decayed :(

Don't get cross, don't scream and shout, but be absolutely 100% clear that this is going to happen, and there is no alternative. Use force if necessary - you'll only have to do it a couple of times, or use patience, trickery or games. There are certain things that you have to be the grown up about, and it's better if you and he learn this now rather than half way down a motorway when he doesn't fancy wearing a seatbelt.

Yes, as the others hae said, it's really important.

We go through phases of her allowing it and fighting it.

We have two toothbrushes, one for her to chew and mess with and one for brushing.
We've had the songs. Currently, spotting all the things she's eaten during the day on her teeth is working, so I spot some cheese on her back teeth and brush it off, then spot the porridge, etc.

Sometimes the toothbrush is a microphone and we sing with it.

If she wants to brush herself I let her then give her a quick brush "to make sure".

Persevere as it'll be a lot harder to comfort him if he's getting toothaches or worse, teeth pulled

do it
I didn't force it with my eldest and really regret it

Last time I posted on a similar thread I got a light toasting.

But anyway, I would never force a toothbrush into my DC's mouths. I think it's a really unpleasant thing to do - really upsetting for a child plus very easy to hurt them by doing this. And for those with a sensitive gag reflex it's even worse. I often gag brushing my own teeth and often have involuntary tears by the end, never mind if someone else was pushing something into my mouth!

Cybbo's ideas are good. There's plenty of gentle teqniques to encourage tooth brushing.

I know I sound like a sanctimonious twat but I don't care. This really bothers me.

Yes you must do it. My DD had a filling at 4! I feel very guilty about it but I was brushing her teeth. From what the dentist said their teeth are quite soft and therefore easier to form decay. I have had this stage with both mine and the only things that worked were making it fun by getting them to pick brushes and toothpaste and then playing chase the monkey. Yes it's a bit bonkers but I used to say "Oh E, I just saw a monkey in your mouth" Then you chase it round their mouth with brush. Another one was to list all the food they had eaten whilt saying "Ooooh look there's your cheese sandwich from lunch, quick lets get it". Failing that MadlIzzy technique. Not ideal and probbaly means you get a fraction done but better than rotten teeth.

Very interesting thread. DD here is 18 mo and we really struggle to clean her teeth. She has one of those baby toothbrshes which is soft teether type thing that 70% of the time she will happily chew on with some toothpaste on - I have no idea if she's too old for this but hoping desperately it's sufficient as she won't let me brush hers with a little toothbrush and if she gets the little toothbrush in her mouth it's only to chew not to brush. I haven't been forcing it as I don't want it to be something she doesn't like doing . I have forced it a few times and it just makes for a miserable little girls and things haven't improved, just blank refusal for teeth cleaning for a few days afterwards.

I've tried her 'helping' me clean my teeth, or cleaning our teeth together. No difference! Feeling slightly bad parent now

Can you take him to the shops and help him choose a toothbrush? I found that really helped with DS - also we brushed our teeth all at the same time and tried to make it funny!

I had to force ds for a while around 18 months - wrapped him up in a towel and pinned him on my lap to do it. It was just something that had to happen every day and after a couple of weeks he just accepted it. Now (at 2) it's no bother at all and he willingly cooperates - first I do his teeth then he has a go.

We've negotiated so that mummy does it in the morning and DD can do it herself in the evening.

This way she is learning to do it herself, but I don't need to worry if she doesn't do the world's best job of it.

There are still some attempts not to do it, but normally I either threaten no bedtime story (never had to carry it out) for the evening and for the morning I'm just firm and tell her that I'll have to do it that evening too.

My DS is 20 months, I'm in the don't force camp because I'm as concerned about the relationship as I am about the teeth. We do quite well at the moment, with him going, "Ahh!" and me cleaning his teeth. Our strategies for not-so-good times have been him doing my teeth and me doing his; everybody cleaning their teeth conspicuously in front of him; games of "Ahh," or copying each other's faces with tooth brushing happening as part of that; fancy tooth brushes; tooth brushes as toys in the toybox; cleaning teddy/ baby doll's teeth. We do teeth in the bath and I sometimes have to ask repeatedly, with little intervals, if we can do teeth now. I phrase it in such a way that the question is more when rather than if we will do them.

In desperate times, I have put a bit of toothpaste on my finger and spread it on his teeth - I wiggle my finger in front of his mouth and he usually allows it. In fact, for months the tooth procedure for us all was toothpaste onto finger, spread it onto teeth, then brush, just to make it make sense for him and also because I understood that getting flouride onto his teeth was a good thing and he used to spit and refuse the toothbrush almost straight after he'd let it in. I'm totally with you on the can't force a toothbrush in there front, but he has always let us pop some toothpaste on his teeth with a finger. Needless to say, I feign almost indifference about the whole thing, to keep the emotional temperature down as much as possible.

Re 'getting flouride into' DC or anyone, it's not that you want it in them so much as it is you want it on their teeth then spat out, if possible (spitting games are surely irresistible to all children?). As I understand it, flouride is pretty bad for you if swallowed. I only mention it so no one thinks getting DC to drink toothpasty water is a good idea in desperate times.