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Original poster

Can anyone help me

66 replies

americansmufy · 22/08/2012 18:04

Hi I wonder if anyone can give me some advice. I am in Scotland by the way. My son who is now 4 months old got taken out of my house by his father at the beginning of June. He claimed to be going to his mother's for an overnight but came back the next day to tell me he had lied about that and was leaving. He did not return my son to me, his mother would only let me see my son for an hour a week and now I have not seen my son at all for 3 weeks now. Also my ex partner's mother is dictating to me when I can and can't see my son but she has no legal right that I know of to do this. I have sent texts (not nasty ones, just asking where and how my son is) and his mother has now informed me that because of them I can no longer see my son except through a contact centre. I have already gone to police about it and been told it wasn't a police matter also gone to social work and since its a closed case they can't seem to do anything about it. My lawyer has been trying to get me more access to him but hasn't been able to as my ex and his family appear to be ignoring both my lawyer and theirs. My son barely knows me now because of this and am worried that he will think someone else is his mother since my ex now has a new partner. At the moment I don't know where my son is and have been trying to find out for 3 weeks now to no avail. I really don't know what to do anymore i need my son back so badly. Someone please help. Thanks.

OP posts:
silentneon · 22/08/2012 19:51

Redhappy, that's wonderful! Thank you so much! :) x

silentneon · 22/08/2012 19:55

Thanks AgentProvocateur, we'll have a look there too. And yeah, I'm also finding it hard to believe how dismissive they are being. My adopted Mum was a SW but had to retire through illness, and she's appalled at the whole thing too :(

NCForNow · 22/08/2012 19:59

He's already declared "open season"

go in there....barge in...take your child....move away if needs be. what's stopping you? A woman who is older? I'm sorry but I would need to be held down by several large men before anyone took my child away and kept him.

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NarkedRaspberry · 22/08/2012 20:01

Is there any reason why you don't just go and get your son?

silentneon · 22/08/2012 20:03

NCForNow, yep, I totally understand. It's just that neither of us want to do anything which would cause AS's ex or his mother to get the police on us. I'm pretty sure a police file would all but wreck my sister's chance3es of getting the wee one back. That's why we haven't done that so far. So far.

NarkedRaspberry · 22/08/2012 20:03

I find it very hard to believe that anyone would sit back and allow their (then) 2 month old baby to be removed from their home and taken from them and that you have seen him more than once since and handed him back.

NCForNow · 22/08/2012 20:06

What are the police going to do if you've done nothing that's been seen? YOU tried to get the police onto them with no luck.

I wouldn't fear the police where my child was concerned.

Sorry but it seems odd. Does the ex work? Wait till MIL is alone....I'd be in the frigging bushes waiting for my moment if it took a MONTH!

NarkedRaspberry · 22/08/2012 20:07

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NCForNow · 22/08/2012 20:09

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Original poster
americansmufy · 22/08/2012 20:09

its in his mothers house she sits in with me while am there for my hour also get locked in house so cant just take him out of house as well as all my childs stuff including cot ect got taken with his father when they left and also after the hour is back i get the wee one taken off of me by his mother

OP posts:
NCForNow · 22/08/2012 20:10

Well here's what you do. She let's you in, she locks door....you call the police on a mobile and have her up for false imprisonment and then you walk out with your child.

Hmm

duh.

silentneon · 22/08/2012 20:11

He was originally taken for "an overnight". My sister had no knowledge that her ex was going to pull a stunt like this.

Secondly, if we did go up, take my nephew and be done with it, what's to stop the ex from dong the same thing and grabbing him back from my sister? Or grabbing him in the street? Or otherwise taking him in the same way? That's what she meant by saying "it could turn into a horrific game of pass the parcel". Please let me know how you'd handle that one. I'm not being snarky, that's a genuine question. Because if there's actually no problem with it we're going to do exactly that tomorrow.

Original poster
americansmufy · 22/08/2012 20:12

but am now not getting to see my child at all being told to get off there proterty dont even know if my sons there

OP posts:
NCForNow · 22/08/2012 20:13

Well a minute ago you said you were locked in for access! Now you're not seeing him at all...which is it? You don't know he's there...then its a missing person case!!!!!!!

Viviennemary · 22/08/2012 20:18

I would get some people together. Make some placards. My child has been kidnapped. give my child back. And so on. And sit outside the house and refuse to move. Some press interest would do your cause good. And would not move for days.

silentneon · 22/08/2012 20:20

Firstly, there is no need to be so rude. We are asking questions and looking for help/support resources. We are not looking to be snarked at by random people on the internet. Politeness goes a long way, you know.

But just to clarify (in case anyone does fancy helping instead of acting like the above-mentioned poster)

When AS went to the house, each time she was given access she was locked in. Now she is not seeing him at all.

Also, it is not a missing person case, as we have been told by the police that if the child is with his father is a civil matter, not a police matter.

silentneon · 22/08/2012 20:22

Viviennemary: hehe, yep, we have actually discussed this just last night :D :D :D Thank you!!

Original poster
americansmufy · 22/08/2012 20:23

thank you Viviennemary we were thinking of doing that its nice to see some people that think like us Smile

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 22/08/2012 20:24

And get some megaphones too. Gosh I wish I was there. These people need some tough handling!!

Original poster
americansmufy · 22/08/2012 20:25

loving the idea Grin

OP posts:
showtunesgirl · 22/08/2012 20:26

Sorry, I'm confused. Your son has been taken two months ago and you're on MN asking for advice? Not that MN doesn't give good advice but why on earth has this not been escalated? If it were me, I would've been banging down the door / on the phone to the press etc.

silentneon · 22/08/2012 20:26

Ha,Viviennemary, that made me smile! Would certainly give the curtain-twitching neighbours something to talk about! THEY'D be the ones having to move, not my sis :)

ThatVikRinA22 · 22/08/2012 20:27

you need legal advice pronto.
pronto. dont wait.

im not at all up on scottish law - but im surprised that the police are saying its not a police matter - he has marched into your house and removed your child and is now denying you access to him??
it is difficult for the police to get involved if there is no formal arrangement in place via the courts - but to this end i would now be moving heaven and earth to get a formal and legal agreement.
if he has equal parental rights i doubt its classed as abduction......but i know when similar has happened where i worked we moved heaven and earth to find the child.....but like i say - im not up on scottish law and the mother phoned 999 immediately the child was taken when i had a case similar.....

you need some legal advice.

silentneon · 22/08/2012 20:29

Showtunesgirl....yes.... this has been escalated - several times over. We've been to police, lawyer, social work, the lot and now it just seems like we're hitting dead ends.

The reason for posting on MN is because we're out of ideas. So we thought that someone, somewhere might have some experience of this kind of thing.

akaemmafrost · 22/08/2012 20:29

I would go and take my son and that's it. There is NOTHING she can do. Go and take YOUR child while your ex is elsewhere. You think it will make things worse and a free for all? It's already as bad as it can get. Take your sister and go round there and take your son. I am cold just thinking about this.