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Parenting

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Original poster

Embarrassed to be proud of my baby.

66 replies

Commutinghell · 17/08/2012 20:19

Does anyone else feel pressure to pretend that their baby is a handful? My DD is 2 months. I'm sure that she will be a nightmare when she's older, there will be tantrums etc etc... But for now, she's getting on just great. Sleeping 8.30 to 7.30 at night, lovely and calm, interested in everything, strong, quiet... But I don't dare mention it. If you say on here that a baby sleeps through at this age everyone says you're lying, in RL everyone complains about their babies and if I mentioned what mine was like they'd think I was bragging. I'm deleriously happy in my own little bubble, but surely I can't be the only one? Fully prepared to be shot down in flames on here but if anyone would like to join me in celebrating their beautiful, well behaved babies I'd love to hear from you.

OP posts:

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LackingNameChangeInspiration · 19/08/2012 21:48

but the thing is people BRAG about how hard their baby is, its so compeditive and at groups you get frozen out if you don't have an equally horrific sleeper/weight gainer
and they ASK its not like I wanna butt in with "oh really, cause mine's alseep from 3pm till 10 am!"

so you have a choice:
tell the truth when asked and cause tumble weed at baby groups
mutter something non specific (what I used to do! )
or lie or exaggerate or pick faults in your baby to fit in - denying that you're over the frigging moon with the little thing! not a very nice thing to do!

hazeyjane · 19/08/2012 22:26

It all depends on where you are at that moment

With dd1, I remember being hugely relieved to finally meet someone who seemed to struggle in the same way I did, because everyone else seemed to be having it easy ( I know not that that was just my perception at the time)

With dd2, I don't remember having much interest in anything that anyone else was doing because I was too knackered!

With ds, I actively avoided baby groups, because he had reflux, chest problems and was delayed in all areas and I had pnd.

I don't really get the thing that it is such a nightmare to have a happy, well, developing baby because you can't moan - I mean you have a happy, well, developing baby, is that not the reward in itself!

I think the trouble is saying you are proud of your baby for doing something like sleeping through, just seems odd, being over the bloody moon they sleep through, fair enough!

Shellywelly1973 · 19/08/2012 22:26

After 5dc i know its the personality of the child...

I hate the terms 'good baby or 'bad baby'!

I didnt go to any baby groups-so i missed alot of what has been spoken about on this thread!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

CharlieBoo · 19/08/2012 23:15

My first born was hard work as a baby, but an utterly delightful toddler, no tantrums, did exactly as he was told, he just loved to please... You know at 7 years old he is such a little treasure and a really good boy. His younger sister was a dream baby, she slept the clock round, would go to anyone, was so happy, but has been a much harder toddler...

Enjoy your precious bundle, she sounds adorable

Janoschi · 19/08/2012 23:31

I think it's okay to feel proud, but be wary of sliding into smugness.

I find it hard to accept compliments, even ones directed at my DD, and I think isn't a positive thing. I had a silent reflux baby so her sleeping was and still is awful, but otherwise she's a dream. Love her to bits.

I was the only person I know who sailed through breastfeeding, and it felt awkward saying I didn't have any issues at all once past the first 2 painful days, as breastfeeding is apparently something you struggle at, at least early on. But it's all luck and you never know what's around the corner to test you.

handstandCrabForwardRollGold · 19/08/2012 23:45

I like stories of babies that sleep through. It has given me hope.
If Ds hasn't slept well it's not because he isn't 'well behaved' its because he is ill or hungry or at the moment teething!
I really think its a long haul op. We all have good days and bad. If you have more good days you should be grateful not moan about other mums who haven't slept!
Of course youre proud of your dd, we all are proud of our children, whether they sleep through or not!

emmyloo2 · 20/08/2012 03:17

I think the key is being tactful. If you have an easy baby, boasting about it to others whose babies are not so easy, is a bit like a really skinny person moaning to a larger person (who they know struggles to lose weight) how they struggle to put on weight and can't eat enough to gain weight! It's just showing a bit of tact otherwise yes, you will sound smug.

My baby was a mixed baby. I felt like he was hard and he is very active and was always quite demanding, but he wasn't as hard as others. His sleep was very good in the beginning but then it went badly at 12 months and now at almost 2, is back to being ok. I think what annoys me most is some people aren't honest about how motherhood is, and maybe you are just one of those people who love it and don't find it hard. Hats off to you if you are! I am jealous of those women because I find it incredibly hard, so hard in fact I am terrified to have a second child. I describe the first 12 months as the "dark days of hell". But that's just my experience and is due mainly to be own personality rather than having a difficult baby.

So enjoy your baby - you are lucky and I am jealous!! Just try and bit a bit tactful around others who may be struggling.

emmyloo2 · 20/08/2012 03:18

and I should say my quite demanding baby is turning into quite a lovely toddler! Still very active but the tantrums are easing off and he has a lovely little personality. Whereas as a baby I just felt like he was hard work compared to other babies. Now I suspect he is easier than other toddlers. Swings and roundabouts and all that.

MainlyMaynie · 20/08/2012 09:06

From your last two posts I assume you are just trying to wind people up. I am probably one of the posters you accuse of 'bitching' as I suggested keeping your proud comments to close blood relatives. I suggested that because I do that, my baby was always a pretty good sleeper, rarely cries, is affectionate, communicative and model-level gorgeous. I'm not jealous of you, like every other mother I secretly feel a bit sorry for everyone who doesn't have my baby. It's important to keep those thoughts inside your head, otherwise everyone will think you are a bitch.

TheCountessOlenska · 20/08/2012 09:34

Agree with MainlyMaynie again

I found the opposite at baby groups - everyone was trying desperately to show how calm and in-control they were, and how "good" their babies were. (Apart from me - I was in tears for the first 3 months at least, the HV had to keep coming to see me because every time she tried to sign me off I told her how horrendous everything was!)

gourd · 20/08/2012 14:52

Heh heh! Ours slept through the night from 6 weeks old to 23 months barring very very ocasional illness (twice in 23 months)... then all hell broke loose. I believe it is called "The Terrible Twos". Just count yourself lucky and enjoy it whilst it lasts - it wont last forever!!! Actually our LO is pretty good at the moment, but we did have a couple of weeks of sleep deprivation recently and when that happens you soon forget the other 22 months that you slept well!!

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 21/08/2012 11:59

"I think the key is being tactful. If you have an easy baby, boasting about it to others whose babies are not so easy, is a bit like a really skinny person moaning to a larger person (who they know struggles to lose weight) how they struggle to put on weight and can't eat enough to gain weight! "

struggling to gain weight is as hard if not harder than struggling to loose it! DH was on a weight gain diet when I was on a weight loss one! his was way harder and as someone also trying to change my diet I didn't feel I was an inappropriate person for him to talk about it with him! even if he felt like a moan because after a day of thinking he had eaten loads he tracked and was still under his calories

the compeditive struggling parents EXCLUDE mums who either don't WANT to moan (even if their child isn't a sleeper/good eater) or don't have anything to moan about right now

its just as nasty as a bunch of overweight women not allowing a slim woman to speak in a conversation about food/diet

Machadaynu · 22/08/2012 13:35

I have been told by those with older children that all children will give you a set amount of 'trouble' - it's purely a matter of when.

Youngmummy19 · 29/08/2012 22:44

I was the same for the first 4 months but as he hit 4 months he became impossible to put down! Enjoy the time and dont pretend to be unhappy when you're not. You can sympathize with people without actually empathizing!

sleepdodger · 29/08/2012 23:05

Don't be embarrassed be proud, I had opposite experience to you and was v of people but happy for them just sad I wasn't a part of the feeling

maddening · 30/08/2012 08:12

I don't think many parents of 2 month olds aren't proud of them regardless of their sleeping/eating/pooing/smiling/gurgling abilities - and again as they get older and rolling, sitting up, pulling up, babbling, standing, walking all make us proud whenever they happen. But at 2 months sttn is pure luck - well done though ;-)

enjoy your baby whatever he or she throws at you - be it sleepless nights or projectile poo it's an amazing if tiring journey (says the proud mum of a 19mth who still nurses to sleep and wakes to bf in the night

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