Gender of third child

[Alfiepants]

I feel guilty for posting this but here goes... I have 2 gorgeous boys under 2 and still I can't get the idea of completing our family with a girl. I wouldn't change my boys for the world and I was never disappointed of their gender but I can't help feeling that it won't be complete without a little girl to share that mother daughter bond in time. Obviously nature might have othe ideas and I can't decide whether we try again in a year or so or count the blessings we have. Any thoughts?

I don't have a good relationship with DM so another good reason to not have another one (for fear of it being a girl).

Lovechoc, just because you didn't have a good relationship with your dm doesn't automatically mean you'll have a bad relationship with any dd you may have. In fact, it may work to the opposite effect.

It sounds to me like you actually would love another one but have persuaded yourself not to which of course is fine and dandy.

You are right WinkyWinkola it's just my own personal experience, but I know others may have positive experiences with their own DDs. But sadly in three generations it's not been a good experience. I just feel (for myself anyway) that it would just be tempting fate if I did end up having more and had a third child that happened to be a girl. Having another one that was a boy would be fine as I know what I'm doing with raising boys! :)

Such a hard one Alfie - I know how you feel. Everyone will tell you that you need to be sure you want a third child, girl or boy, and that is true. 3 children is harder work than 2 regardless of gender, logistically more difficult, more expensive and you have to be prepared for that.

I am a year into being the mum of 3 delicious boys. We now have the 3 children we always wanted, but we don't have a daughter and we never will as I know that 4 children would be a child too many for me. I have found the transition to 3 pretty hard - whereas I found 1 and 2 children easy. It's nothing to do with DS3's personality it's just how I am finding managing 3. Some days I feel really sad that I don't have a daughter - whilst my family is complete, I worry that a tiny part of me will never feel quite complete because of it - I just wonder what she would have looked like, what we'd have called her, what it would have been like to raise her. It doesn't stop me loving my boys and living my life but it's something I'm taking a while to get my head around and get over. Sometimes I dwell on it a lot, sometimes I hardly think about it. I wish I could say hand on heart - as so many people do - that once they had their last baby they never gave it a second thought, but that hasn't been quite true for me. I guess I always assumed I've have two girls and a boy, or two boys and a girl and the picture of that was more ingrained in my head than I realised and is taking some time to get rid of. I also have 2 good friends who had a 3rd child of a different gender at the same time as I had DS3 - one had a boy after 2 girls and the other a girl after 2 boys. They both almost walked on air for months, saying how complete and content they felt, how it's almost like having a firstborn again and how nice it is to have the chance to bring up a child of the opposite sex to their other 2 with all that entails. (I did ask them to be honest with me by the way, they weren't being insensitive, I was really curious to know and whilst it was hard to hear it helped me feel that I wasn't being totally ridiculous). I think the other part of it is that I'm one of those women who feel really sad that the baby stage is nearly over and that it's time to move on and let go of such a precious, gorgeous stage. I could have 6 and I'm sure I'd still feel like this! Hope that helps and good luck!

I had 2 DDs then got pg with no 3

I can say hand-on-heart I was never remotely concerned with gender

Never get people who are

I think it's quite normal and 'OK' to have a preference when you are pregnant. I don't know anyone that wasn't overjoyed with what they got when their baby was born!! I wanted my third to be a girl. I had a boy - couldn't imagine life without him!

I think a lot of people wouldn't necessarily admit to having a preference. Of course, what matters is that they are healthy above all. But we are only human.. nothing wrong in having a preference.