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Is it bad I want a nanny

37 replies

Cupcakemummy85 · 07/08/2012 17:07

I feel really terrible writing this but I really feel like I need a nanny for my dd who is 13 months old. She is a wonderful child but I feel like I need an extra pair of hands to help me so I can get on with house hold tasks and catch up on some sleep ( I'm pregnant so very exhausted) thinking too with the next one I will need even more help as they will only be 20 months apart. I feel awful but I really just need someone to help me or take her out to play as I think she gets bored we me : s does anyone else have a nanny? Or feel the same?

OP posts:
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holler · 07/08/2012 17:11

If you can afford it, why the hell not?

CogitoErgOlympics · 07/08/2012 17:13

If you need help, get help. Some people have grannies, aunties, childminders or other ways of coping. I'm a single parent who works FT so I've employed all the above plus I've had a cleaner for as long as I can remember. I know some people equate 'parent' with 'martyr' but I think there is no good reason for making the experience any tougher than it needs to be. If you can afford it, go for it.

lop37 · 07/08/2012 17:18

If you can afford it, why not? Or might a childminder be a cheaper option. It normally is for just one child. Your dd would be settled in, a couple of mornings a week by the time baby arrives? It would also give her the opportunity to play with other children, and you woud have some quiet time with the baby. Also you would be able to sleep whilst she is there during your pregnancy, rather han having a nanny trying to keep her quiet while you are sleeping?

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valiumredhead · 09/08/2012 16:59

Sounds like you need a mother's help or a childminder. Most Nannies will be used to sole charge tbh.

valiumredhead · 09/08/2012 16:59

And it is NOT bad at all, if you can afford it why ever not?!

McPhee · 09/08/2012 17:01

It sounds like you'd benefit from a mothers help Smile

Go for it!

LucieMay · 09/08/2012 17:01

Hell no I'd have a nanny in a split second if I could afford it, a live on one at that! And ds is six!

McPhee · 09/08/2012 17:07

I'm a nanny, and a mummy, and could do with a mothers help myself Grin

MamaBear17 · 09/08/2012 19:32

I would have a cleaner rather than a nanny because the household jobs drive me mad! I agree with the others though, if you can afford it you should do it. Its not bad at all!

dogindisguise · 10/08/2012 20:44

It's not bad to want one! I don't think I'd like a nanny, but this is mainly because I have my parents nearby to help out. And since getting a cleaner I wouldn't go back to not having one.

KateShmate · 10/08/2012 21:09

When I became pregnant with triplets, who are 3 now, we realized that we would need a nanny simply to be able to actually feed our babies, and also look after our older 2 girls who were 2 and 3 when triplets born.

Not all nannies will be sole carers - our certainly isn't. We work as a team in the same way that DH and I would work if he wasn't at work.
I.e, when our triplets were newborn, one of us would 'entertain' my older 2 DD's and the other would care for the babies. 75% of the time I would feed and change babies, but it was also nice for someone else to take over so that I was able to play with DD1 and DD2.

Our nearest family is about 2 hours away - when our DTrips were first born then family would travel up to help, but we couldn't expect them to do this forever.

DTrips were 3 in July, and often I think that they are at the age where we probably don't need an extra pair of hands, but then they will go through another 'phase' and I realize that we definitely do! They are currently going through a phase where they flatly refuse to do absolutely anything - its bloody helpful having an extra pair of hands!

If you definitely decide to employ a nanny then I would do it ASAP so that your daughter gets to know her properly before you give birth. We did the same thing as I was also on bed rest and so it was a perfect time for our nanny to get to know our DD1 and 2. Around the birth of DTrips, our nanny was invaluable - esp when they were in SCBU in hospital as premature. It was a relief to know that they were with someone who they adore and know - I wouldn't have been so happy about leaving them if we'd only known the nanny for a week or so.

Go for it!

thekidsrule · 11/08/2012 18:28

why exactly did you want kids op????

isabelladeste · 11/08/2012 19:58

Oh don't be so silly Thekidsrule...

TeaDr1nker · 11/08/2012 20:07

If u can afford it, why not.

But I would think about what it is you want, as it could be you are really after a mothers help who'll give you a hand with the kids as oppose to a nanny who may be more involved with the kids and not so involved with the house chores.

thekidsrule · 11/08/2012 20:24

really,i dont get it i really dont

RandomMess · 11/08/2012 20:28

Firstly the first trimester of preganancy can be absolutely exhausting - I didn't know it was possible to sleep so much. Later on I got aneamic and it was the same thing kept falling asleep during the day!

I found a newborn and 14 month old easier than being pregnant IYWIM.

If you can afford help certainly have it.

iloveACK · 11/08/2012 20:28

Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you need to be a martyr - if you can afford one (or help around the house however you need it) then I wouldn't feel bad about employing help. I believe children are meant to be enjoyed, not endured, so do what you need to ensure that's the case & don't feel bad about it Grin

People who judge are not worth worrying about!

isabelladeste · 11/08/2012 20:35

Oh use your imagination you silly woman and don't be so bloody judgemental. That kind of reactionary martyrdom is really tedious.

thekidsrule · 11/08/2012 20:45

everybody judges in life one way or another

i can see if a parent is working out source would be a good idea

and i ask why because quite a few parents assume that having a child would assume some sought of major involvement in a childs up bringing,seriously deciding to have children and bringing them up does not make you a martyr

i was under the impression that parent hood does require certain changes to anybodys life compared to pre-kids life,

but it would seem not so on mn

thekidsrule · 11/08/2012 20:51

isabelladeste

please explain why have children and then employ a nanny ????

genuine ??

disclaimer,this does not include working parents,that is not the situation here

isabelladeste · 11/08/2012 21:11

Well I'm trying very hard not to judge your spelling mistakes but there you go...

I'm just going to reiterate-try using your imagination. There are so many reasons for, and approaches to, having a child - not just yours. So try thinking about it rather than expecting people to explain their reasons for your judgemental benefit. Call me crazy but I have a feeling that if I did put a reason in my reply (I want a companion when I'm old/I need cheap staff for my chimney sweeping business) you'd just say something boringly judgemental in reply, so I'm not going to bother.

thekidsrule · 11/08/2012 21:17

didnt think you would some how

LookBehindYou · 11/08/2012 21:21

Absolutely get extra help. It'll be win win. You dd will get more attention and you'll get rest so your dd will have a refreshed and relaxed mum.

Isabelladeste, poor show to make a comment about spelling.

TheCountessOlenska · 11/08/2012 21:26

Another one to say, if you can afford it - go for it!

I am sooo lucky to have my lovely mum round the corner who helps me loads - don't know what I'd do without her (as couldn't afford help) - I don't think it's normal to be on your own all day with small children (I'm sure our ancestors didn't suffer in this way!)

missjackson · 11/08/2012 21:30

Not poor show to make a comment about spelling. 'Some sought of major involvement?' FGS?

OP is not talking about handing her daughter over to someone else to bring up, she just wants 'an extra pair of hands', and if she can afford it, why not? Surely kids are better off with a professional, enthusiastic nanny for part of the day, then a well-rested mother for the rest of the day, rather than an exhausted depressed full-time mother?

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