Is it bad I want a nanny

[Cupcakemummy85]

I feel really terrible writing this but I really feel like I need a nanny for my dd who is 13 months old. She is a wonderful child but I feel like I need an extra pair of hands to help me so I can get on with house hold tasks and catch up on some sleep ( I'm pregnant so very exhausted) thinking too with the next one I will need even more help as they will only be 20 months apart. I feel awful but I really just need someone to help me or take her out to play as I think she gets bored we me : s does anyone else have a nanny? Or feel the same?

Surely kids are better off with a professional, enthusiastic nanny for part of the day, then a well-rested mother for the rest of the day

sounds like victorian times,and im sure the children will be ushered in before bedtime to kiss their parents goodnight,:

i do apologise for my poor spelling though but thats something i will live with,and will not be put of posting on mn because of that,im sure ive made bigger mistakes than that through life

It sounds as though you are looking for support, not trying to opt out of parenting, which is why thekidsrule posts are unfair and unhelpful. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help - you will be able to mother your children more effectively if you are rested and refreshed. I so wish I hadn't tried to do it all myself when mine were little - I would DEFINITELY get more help if I had my time again.

I would realy look into local childminders - some might do a couple of short days - you wouldn't have to be an employer or do intervewing and I am certain it would be cheaper - personally I think 13 months is a tricky age as they can't do much and need a lot of watching - it does get better
also do you get out and about - do you go to toddler groups/meet friends with similar age children as that can help with her being bored - and also agree look into a cleaner and internet shopping is also very helpful
thekidsrule - the op isn't saying she doesn't want be around her dd just maybe have the odd break I imagine

If you can afford a nanny then why not go for it? But it might be worth looking in to a cleaner and a childminder/nursery. Your older DD might benefit from going to a CM or a nursery for some different stimulation, giving you time to focus on your newborn (just as you were able to do with your DD), and a cleaner a few times a week to do all the cleaning, ironing etc will make you feel better.

Go for it, raising kids is exhausting, as a Dad I don't have personal experience of being pregnant(!) but obviously it must be even more exhausting! If you can afford the extra help you'll be well rested and healthier and able to enjoy everything that much more. Would it be worth looking at getting an au pair?

I echo the 'go for it' voices.

I'm a sahm to a 5 month old and a 25 month old. I adore the girls, love spending time with them. I consider myself an involved and loving mother (I'm sure we all are). But I'd get a mothers help without thinking twice if we could afford it.

It's not abdicating parental responsibility. It's just having an extra pair of hands and I don't see how it's any different to those who have family help.

I have a nanny, and a cleaner, and a job. I love my gorgeous children to bits - all the more so for having a bit of personal space so I can occasionally appreciate them from afar .

Not quite the same but a friend of mine is currently a SAHM and her DCs are about 20 months apart (the youngest just 8 weeks old). She still sends her eldest to nursery most days and will do so as long as she can afford to. Can't say i'd feel like that just having my DS (i wish i could spend more time with him actually), but definitely i can understand when you have two (or one and one on the way in your case).

So tell me thekidsrule....... Do u have anyone help you, ie mum, sister, gran or are you one of these amazing mothers that can do it all. Are you pregnant with a very young child? I honestly dread going to mother and toddler groups because of people like you who judge as soon as you ask a question about parenting or like the one I've asked about a nanny. So what, big deal, I'm thinking of having a helper take my child whilst I cook a nutritious meal for her or organise her toys or clean the house. You are right why do I bother having kids ( detect tge sarcasm in my voice!!) I think it's a ridiculous statement asking why I bother having children! I'm with my daughter more than most mothers, i play with her, I take her out and I really enjoy being with her. She wants for nothing! When I posted this question I wanted proper answers not judgemental answers like urs! I really appreciate everyone else's answers and I'm looking into the help which option is the best. For now I'm doing ok but we will c.

I have a nanny full time but only work part time. I'm not going to justify it but will say that it's awesome. My dd is happy and I am rested.

(...And I think thekidsrule needs to be slightly more relaxed about other people's needs for household help. Sounds slightly bitter TBH)

if you can afford to get someone else to look after your children. go for it.

To those picking thekidsrule up on her spelling. It makes you look stupid not her.