Starting uni full time in September, having a wobble!

[FoxPass]

Reassure me being a student mum can be done!

I have 2 DSs, 4 and 20 months. DH works locally and my timetable is not too hefty so only 20 hours of childminding a week and we can manage drop offs and pick ups between us. We have family willing to help too.

I'm starting a psychology degree. I've spent the last 4 years off and on doing OU psychology and am using those courses as my entrance qualifications.

I know the workload will be hefty, but for 1st and probably part of 2nd year, I will be covering stuff I've already done with the OU.

I have been at home with the boys for almost 2 years now after taking redundancy after mat leave. Doing it now feels like a great opportunity to get a qualification and change career (or go back to my old field, but better qualified). And I'll be off during the school holidays with them so it seems like that's a benefit too.

My mum is a bit catsbumface about me 'leaving' my DC to study. But surely it's an investment in my future, and their future? Or am I being self-indulgent? I just want to get cracking with my degree, use my brain properly to fully learn a subject I love, and get out of the house and feel like an individual person again. DH is totally supportive of me doing this but other people's mixed reactions and negativity is getting me down.

Please tell me you have successfully juggled kids and study :)

Crazynana I am so tired as well, and I don't start proper lectures until next week...

Had to take the afternoon off already today as childminder wanted to close as her kids were ill, hope I didn't miss anything too important.

I'm feeling a bit daunted by the amount of work on the horizon, but also looking forward to it.

Can I join you all? I started my degree in September, can't believe it was only three weeks ago as I'm already totally consumed by it. And knackered!

I am loving it all. Although I marvel daily about just how much f*ing hair there is on the heads of these girls. Like, how the hell do you keep hair shiney when it's been on your head since you were twelve? It's a continual wonder.

crazynanna I am so tired too! I totally love it so far though, so glad I'm doing it :) I am revelling in learning again.

I find studying and writing very mentally tiring, and weirdly physically tiring too. I am in uni all day on a Monday and was planning that Monday night would be a study night too, but there is actually no way I could do that. I feel half dead with fatigue at times. DCs have been a bit unsettled with the change, and are sleeping less and acting up, so very tired because of that too.

I think it is an amazing thing to be able to undertake study when you have a family - my classmates worry about organising themselves, I'm organising myself and 3 others, too! We are awesome :o

Hi all newcomers to the thread, it's great to get support here :)

ahahaha Sundae I am the same! There are loads of lovely heads of hair in front of me at lectures, and so many are tied up in those high top-knots that are the in thing just now. I want to comb them out and tell them to appreciate their lovely hair before age and post-natal shed comes along and ravages it :o

I really, really love student fashion, though. It's one of the best things about university. Wow, look, bad jumpers are in! Bad glasses!

Niceup and FoxPass..glad I am not alone!

It will get better I'm sure.

We can do it

CatPower here, I fancied a name-change.

I am EXHAUSTED! Settled into my course, enjoying the lectures and almost keeping up with all the reading. Tutorials are a little better, the others are starting to speak now which makes me feel like less of a swot! I'm having trouble getting between two tutorials (they're back to back at opposite ends of the campus) but thankfully the disability team have been great and warned my tutors that I may be later than the others. I'm halfway to my first weight-loss goal, too, which means I'll be able to get on the list for my first hip-rebuilding operation. That's a step closer to being free of my crutches and painkillers. I cannot wait.

Hi Panda, Glad it's going so well, uni and the weight loss.

I'm also Knackered but at least no 7th birthdays to deal with this week!

Sorry I have not posted for a while as I was not sure how Iwas feeling about uni. The workload is hard but I am realising I am not the only person feeling like this on the course so strangely that makes me feel better!!! I have read all your posts and it sounds like you are all settling in so big cheers to you all for surviving the first few weeks.

I spent all yesterday till 9pm doing uni work!!! and trying to revisie for a timed essay tomorrow!!!!

I am so pleased I did an access course last year as ithas really prepared me!!

That's great to hear kate :) I know what you mean, it is reassuring that others are also finding it a challenge, I feel like that too.

My first essay is due in tomorrow and I was really organised and submitted it on Friday so I could relax for a couple of days. I am soooo glad I did, as me and the DCs have had a horrid sickness bug over the weekend! I am feeling better today and managed to do some studying.

In general I feel like I am just managing to keep on top of things, there is so much reading. I am anxious quite a lot though, just really don't want to mess up, and worrying that the DC are OK without me during the day. It's tough but hopefully it will get better as we adjust.

How is everyone else getting on?

I returned to school (a PhD programme) when our daughter was 3 years old and I don't regret it a bit. In fact, I'm very happy I did it.

Yes, I'm the oldest student in my programme, and I'm definitely the only one who's married and/or has children. However, the added responsibility of family hasn't adversely affected my studies. If anything, I'm more efficient with my time than I was younger and childless. I'm doing quite well in my programme.

You can do it!

My first essay is due on the 29th, second on the 5th. I've done a lot of reading and have a good plan for the first one (Philosophy), but I've only done the basics so far for the second (Politics). My plan is to get the bulk of the Phil one written this week, edit it and redraft the following week, and try to get the Pol one started that week too. I'm a bit nervous about what they'll be like, I'm a poor editor so really need to do better on that. It's nice to have something to get my teeth into though, I feel like a "proper" student now!

Vintage, I'm vvv jealous of your PhD studies, that's some serious brains you've got there! Good luck with it all!

That will teach me for posting it was going well!!! I have had a bad day today mainly because of the other people on the course. I had found a group of people to sit with for lunch etc who seemed nice but had felt I had overstayed my welcome a bit as they were being less and less inviting anyway the last couple of days lots of FB posts on the course FB page about how thrilled they were to meet so and so and how so and so were friends for life etc and today when I could not sit with them as I am on a different class and we go before lunch there was a message onthe fb page to say how lovely it was to have lunch just the 3 of them!!! I know it is daft and I am 37 and should not care about these things but I am upset because they were the only people about my age and I felt ok to sit with them. Not sure I can face 3 years as a billy no mates. I have said nothing bad or unkind. I wish I could not care but I have always worried about what people think of me. Feel like I am back at school and being bullied!!! I know you are thinking grow up but I read the group fb page to see comments about homework etc so cant ignore it.

Not thinking "grow up" at all - being back at uni does feel like being back at school in a lot of ways, especially when something like that happens. I'm sorry you're in this position, it feels so shitty even now. It's not a reflection on you at all - it's your "friends" and their complete lack of decency and maturity. Imagine talking about it on Facebook of all places too - are they twelve?! I'm still a bit of a no-mates but I don't think I'm too bothered, I'm the only mature student in any of my tutorials and whilst the others are chatty and friendly and we get on, there's not a great deal of common ground apart from what we're studying. I think someone up-thread said they were treating uni like a job, just going in, doing what needs to be done, and going home again. I think that's the best way to handle it.

Thanks fiercepanda, I need to distant myself but I dont want to spend 3 years likethis. If it was just a year I would feel better but I think you are right about treating it like a job. I think it matchs in with me not feeling 100% happy. At the moment I have more bad days then good and it has a knock on effect to the rest ofthe family as I am so snappy.

Hi I've not posted on this thread for ages. I think it was me who said to treat it like a job. Easier said than done I know!! I am having lots of down days too. I'm finding the other people and all the strange group dynamics on my course challenging. People do very odd things in new group situations!! I keep telling myself it'll all settle down. Katedan I'm like you and worry a lot about what people think of me - I wish I had some words of wisdom but I think all I can say is just to try and ride it out.

Meant to add - it's weird, when I'm at home, with dh and the dc just doing normal things, university and all the weird people crap just seems like a million miles away. My homelife is what feels 'real' to me, not university and the people there - that's not to say I'm not engaged with the coursework etc but I feel I have a 'base' to return to with my family and home and that's really important to me. I think I need to remember that more when I'm feeling overwhelmed with other people etc at uni!

I know what you all mean, being the mature one on the course is odd for sure. My life, yours too, are all on totally different rhythms to those of the teenagers.

Do I wish I'd gone at 18? No, because I know I wouldn't have given it my all, whilst its hard now with having the kids I feel more dedicated and willing to push myself.

That all being said I think I might drop into the three year BA instead Of the four year masters I'm on now, not going to make that decision for a while yet though.

You are right Peggoty, coming home to the family is what keeps me sane I can't imagine feeling like this on the course and then going back to a lonely halls of residence. I am very shocked how it is only week 4 but the dynamics and clicky groups are already forming. I am really hoping it gets better as it is affected how I feel about the course. I am tepting to ask them why they are doing this but it just sounds pathetic and needy(which I obviously am!!!!)

Yes it's pretty cliquey on my course too. I think it's just human nature in these type of situations unfortunately! A lot of the behaviour you see is basically down to insecurity! You should use it as a study as part of your social work degree . I'm actually going to go and see my personal tutor tomorrow just to talk about how I'm struggling a bit with all the 'people' side of the course. I'm a complete introvert and am finding that the extroverts (and there are a fair few!) are a bit overwhelming! Hang in there and remember this is all a means to am end - not enjoying the course doesn't for one minute mean you won't make a good social worker.

I'm just starting to see the cliques now, it's third week of term for us. I have also noticed that the 18 year-olds have no concept of anyone but themselves, eg, someone trying to get past them saying "excuse me" while they are reading a hand-out!

I seem to be pretty invisible on my course, I have spoken to a few people but there are no lunch invites in the offing. I don't actually mind, I have been quite glad to sit and have a coffee and read the paper.

I have to say, spending time listening to intelligent people talk about interesting stuff (ie lectures) seems like a massive luxury to me after being at home with a baby for nearly two years.

Not sure I'll feel the same when I have to start writing essays...

Today was my first good day since I started! Had lunch with a few people and got goodfeed back for my first presentation from the tutor. I know it is a rocky road ahead but now have 3 days off and no homework. I really hope this si the start of good days but I recognise next week it could all change again! I hope your tutors are helpful Peggoty, it is not fair for you tospend three years feeling unhappy about the people. Is there other mature students or are they all 18ish?

So how are we all doing then now we've made it to reading week?

I am winging it somewhat, essays due in two weeks - not started those yet. DS has been ill, I've been ill, childminder has been closed twice due to illness, so I've missed a fair bit. Hope that stops soon!

We don't get a reading week so tryingtojuggle uni with childcare!!!

The essays seem alot harder to those we had to do for the access course but will not get any results till january so will know more then about if I am cut out for uni.

I am enjoying the topics which is keeping me going.

How is everyone doing?