Reins

[Janoschi]

I know this subject has been done to death but...

I bought DD a pair of reins yesterday. She's 15 months and a very keen walker with no common sense. She doesn't like the pushchair much and I was getting sick of walking bent double, holding her hand. She also likes to carry her ball around so likes to have both hands free. So I got some reins and DD really likes them.

But. I was walking through the city centre with DD today and got accosted by a very angry Belgian guy. He went on about how it was banned in Belgium and he was very much against restraining a child and that I'd really upset him.

Which I thought was a bit steep. Firstly, DD loves her reins because she can now carry things better. Secondly, a child is also restrained in a pushchair, or a bike seat or a backpack. More so actually, as they have no choice of direction etc when carried or pushed.

I know that Germans are against reins (family in law are German), but my German DN was in a pushchair til he was 4 and hated walking.

Surely if a toddler loves walking, and she's happy wearing reins, it's all good, no?

Just a bit upset by Mr Belgian :-(

You do not have a 'reins' problem. You have a weirdo problem. Mr Belgian is strange, rude and judgmental. You're going to have to start ignoring these types if you are to survive parenthood.

There's another thread going on right now about horrible stuff people say to parents. Check it out, you'll feel better.

And the reins are a perfectly good idea, for all the reasons you outlined.

the thread is 'amazingly tactless things people say to strangers' in Parenting.

I'm always astonished at tales of random strangers accosting mums in the street and having a pop. I hope you told Hercule that you weren't actually in Belgium?

Ignore strange man.

In fact, ignore any stranger who tries to tell you that reins are bad, so long as you are using them correctly.

I found them invaluable, I have a bad back and couldn't stoop to hold DS's hand; plus they saved him from many a skinned nose/knee because I caught him when he tripped before he hit the floor. They were also extremely useful in potentially dangerous situations, as I can't run very fast (bad back again) so if he'd broken free from a handhold and legged it, either into traffic or the river, I couldn't have chased him down quickly enough to stop him.

I last used the reins on DS last year when I took him to the UK - I used them in the airport to stop him legging it away from the gate when I was sitting with all the cabin luggage. He was 3.5 at the time.

Admittedly, DS has never had an issue with wearing them, not a big one - he did go through a short phase of not wanting to, but since it was a choice of reins or buggy, he'd take the reins rather than the buggy.

They're great anyway - leave them with both hands free to explore, clap, learn to save themselves when they trip - can't see the issue! :)

I never saw a kid in reins in Belgium in the 15 years I lived there, but I didn't think they were illegal?! Bollocks if you ask me. It's just some stupid judgy git. Feel justified in ignoring him.

I never used reins with either of my DC as they were both very good about holding hands and not running off, plus I don't think they look very nice. However if they work well for you or you have a child prone to legging it off in the other direction, I'm sure they're great. I certainly wouldn't ever go up to another parent and tell them off for using them. Don't take any notice.

I honestly do not understand what some people have against reins. If they took my dd out for five minutes they'd change their tune.

That man should go boil his head and reserve his ire for parents who don't try to keep their kids SAFE, that is what reins are all about fgs.
The LittleLife backpacks are brilliant if you haven't seen them, very useful for putting your keys in too! My dd loves hers and asks to wear it.

It's easy for those without kids or with well trained less spirited kids to at reins.

Reins are fabulous and I will be using them for DD if necessary (I did for DS).

Don't like the backpacks as the straps used to slide off and anyway they're just reins in disguise.

I'm so sorry you were upset, what a strange man.

I used reins on my twins. They were both early walks and loved to walk rather than use the pram. They always got very excited if I put their reins on because it meant they'd be walking somewhere rather than being pushed.

Reins meant that they were kept safe and I had a hand free (two wipe noses, buy things in shops etc). It also was the only safe method of getting two babies into car seats - at 10 months my wee boy just didn't have the concept of "stand still!"

^ that should have been "to wipe nosed" although of course there were also two nosed to wipe....

Sigh ^ "to wipe noses"

Fgs what is with other people imposing their opinions onto parents?! We use reins, if I was to hold dd's hand and she fell over I would certainly follow, reins are easier for both of us and she feels like she has done freedom.

The man sounds like a judgey weirdo, im sure if he had a 15mo prone to leg it, im sure he would think differently!

I have used them, and still do for my 2yo & nearly 4yo-without them they would get run over as they are prone to leg it if given the chance.

It comes down to safety & common sense, other peoples opinions are very low down in my prioritys over my dcs safety.
Roll your eyes and carry on walking, best way to be

Ignore daft man.

DD1 went everywhere on reins as she vaporised in the blink of an eye.

She wasn't scared of loosing Mummy. So she'd wander off in her own dream world.

At 14 she still does it, and she never has her mobile with her. I've spent far too much time trying to find her in shopping centres.

DD2 is much more socially aware always keeps one eye on the groups she's with. As a toddler she'd never be further away than round the first corner and she'd know where I was.

I live in a city that gets a lot of overseas tourists and we do get the occasional point or comment when we're out with DD on her reins, but I figure they'd point more if she was bolting down the middle of the road. I think reins are essential if you have a runner and they haven't yet got common sense...

It varies from situation to situation with dd1 I used them if she disobeyed me, and even used it once when she was in reception and crossed a (very quiet road) ahead of me - she hasn't done it since. Dd2 stuck to me like glue and never needed them. Ds lives on his scooter (which I pull with a strap on it), but even off the scooter I am with him and not pg or pushing another baby so I don't need them but would put them on him if he refused to hold my hand etc.

If you're happy and she's happy then don't worry about a random Belgium guy. Some people say they look like dogs, but rather that than squished. And it is healthier for them to walk than be in a pushchair, mine were all out by about 2yrs other than on long trips.

"plus I don't think they look very nice"

I don't think a child under a car looks very nice either picnicbasketcase. Not all small children are biddable and well behaved, and not all of us are short arsed enough to find holding hands with a small child comfortable. It can't be very comfortable for a toddler to have to walk with one arm straight up in the air all the time either.

Just my own personal opinion bunbaker. I don't make disapproving faces at people who do use them, I get that other people find them indispensable. I just didn't use them myself. I would have done without hesitation had my children been bolters. I still would have thought that they didn't look very nice even if I had used them. No offence intended.

Thanks picnic I didn't mean to sound so harsh. We had to use reins because OH and I are tall and walking around on an unmade road bent double was impractical and uncomfortable. It also meant that when DD stumbled we could pull her up before she fell over and ended up with gravel filled grazes.

I use the backpack ones as I find the other types too fiddly. I remember one day just after I bought them for ds1 an old lady stopped me and said what a wonderful idea they were, she liked the little backpack. 10 minutes later a European lady walked past tutting about people treating their children like dogs.

You only use them for a short space of time, I think I had stopped with ds1 by about the time he was 2.6. I really can't see how they offend anyone but they obviously do!

That's the other point, height. DD is a short-arse (25th centile) and I'm 5'8 with hips prone to popping out. Walking lopsided is a killer.

DD isn't a bolter so much as someone who loves exploring. She's never run off yet but tends to walk alongside for a short while then spot something interesting like a sweet wrapper or a pigeon and go and check it out. And she loves carrying things like the mail or a box of cereal to be 'helpful'.

Im a twin and my Dad said we were always in reins because he could have one twin on each hand and lift us up steps.

Just found the 'restraint' argument the most illogical - babies are always restrained when out - pushchairs, carseats etc.

I've had a lot of stupid comments from folk (including a bloke suggesting I'd burned DD with a cigarette because she has a birthmark on her cheek) but it was the first time I had someone yell at my across a busy shopping street. Just found it embarrassing having to defend myself like that!

Thanks for the support!

I generally don't like reins, but have previously used them on occasions i have felt I needed them - in central london, walking near the sea etc when they are young. I feel that if it's going to keep your children safe then why not?

My mum used to say, whenever people mentioned it was "treating your children like dogs" that she thought it sad that those people thought more of the safety of their dogs than their children. (DISCLAIMER: this does NOT mean she thought that people who didn't want/need to use reins had no regard for their children's safety)

I think, although I don't know, that there has been a bit of a resurgence in the use of reins - it seemed that there were hardly any around 10-20 years ago, but I see more of them again now. Anyone else think that?

What an unhelpful and silly man.

We use the backpack reins and my DS is very happy in them. Like you I also have a little explorer on my hands who loves to stop mid walk crouch and inspect everything that crosses his path. He loves to hold his teddy or whatever the obsessed toy of the day is and holding my hand will only last for a few minutes. The reins are heaven sent as he is happy and I know he is safe.

I can't believe someone thought they could criticise you so openly! I never used reins with DS and wondered what the point was. Then I had DD, who is an instant bolter and had an epiphany! DS would happily sit in the pram but DD absolutely refuses and has managed to get out of the pram on several occassions. It's not only infuriating but dangerous. Much better to know she is securely strapped to me, while she thinks she is ingeniously escaping.