Reins

[Janoschi]

I know this subject has been done to death but...

I bought DD a pair of reins yesterday. She's 15 months and a very keen walker with no common sense. She doesn't like the pushchair much and I was getting sick of walking bent double, holding her hand. She also likes to carry her ball around so likes to have both hands free. So I got some reins and DD really likes them.

But. I was walking through the city centre with DD today and got accosted by a very angry Belgian guy. He went on about how it was banned in Belgium and he was very much against restraining a child and that I'd really upset him.

Which I thought was a bit steep. Firstly, DD loves her reins because she can now carry things better. Secondly, a child is also restrained in a pushchair, or a bike seat or a backpack. More so actually, as they have no choice of direction etc when carried or pushed.

I know that Germans are against reins (family in law are German), but my German DN was in a pushchair til he was 4 and hated walking.

Surely if a toddler loves walking, and she's happy wearing reins, it's all good, no?

Just a bit upset by Mr Belgian :-(

I hope you told this man to bog off and go back to Belgium!

Personally i have never used them with my 2 children as i've not had the need to - but i can see they can be invaluable for many parents. I'm more likely to be judgemental when i see toddlers walking off down the street next to a busy road and parents don't seem bothered to catch up with them!

I did think if was odd the other day though as we were in a large country park, very safe, no cars, lots of childrens play areas etc and we saw one couple with a toddler on reins and wouldn't even take it off to let their child play on their own. Definitely a time and a place for keeping children close and others for letting them have a bit of of a wander and explore.

The man was an idiot! I hated reigns pre-DC thought they were cruel, DS, now 4.5 was a bolter, as is DD 16m - the little life backpacks are great! DS loved his, but doesn't need it now as he walks beside us nicely, DD has just started using hers (cute ladybird design) and seems to like her 'freedom'. I'm 5'10, so practically crouching when walking with teeny DD. I've had a couple of the dog comments, I always answer 'surely this is better than under a car?' on the whole, most people who feel the need to comment seem to think the backpacks are great.
Ignore the rude comments, those people either don't have DCs or are lucky enough to not have bolters

I never knew that some people could be so vitriolic about toddler reins ffs! How can giving your child the illusion of freedom whilst being securely attached to you be cruel?! Anyway, rant over!

Which toddler reins are recommended? I have thought about the LittleLife backpack ones as I think they are a brilliant idea, but I would be concerned about DD wriggling free of the shoulder straps.

I'd really like a set with a detachable strap, so the harness remains in place around DD and the strap clipped on and off when required.

We have found the backpacks great - DS liked to put his nappy stuff in there to carry, it made him feel grown up.

The strap detaches from the little life ones (not sure about others sorry) and you can tighten the shoulder straps as needed. The front clip can be stiff for little fingers
I know - I can't believe how ridiculous I was thinking that. I put it down to having zero experience of children before having my own. I never commented on it though.

Oh, what a total pile of shite. If a toddler's walking along the street, it's either restrain them or let them run into traffic, especially if you've got a bolter. You can restrain them by holding their hand, or by strapping them into a harness and reins. Well, the reins give more freedom, both to use their hands and to go a bit further from the parent. My daughter loves hers, much happier in them than holding my hand. So bollocks to anyone who doesn't like them, frankly.

Absolutely. Reins also give more freedom to the parent - some things are tough to do one-handed, such as getting on a bus with shopping while waving an Oyster card around.

A child is more restrained in a buggy than in reins. I think reins are brilliant, toddler gets healthy exercise and is kept safe from running out in front of a car (as some will do!), even your line of sight.

This moron was just a deranged freak.

Belgian guy should bog off.

Reins aren't for me/ my DS but i imagine they have a time and a place for many parents. That said, i saw a 2 and a half year old boy wearing them today in the middle of a quiet farmyard where all the animals were safely in enclsures. He didn't look like the type of boy who would just bolt for it. Poor kid looked miserable while my 20 mo DS ran around excitedly from enclosure to enclosure. I just don't see the point in them in situations like that - big rural areas are for running around in freely. But then this kid was also wearing a full length mac in 24 degree heat

MummywithMenaces I read your "two wipe noses" as a runny nose that was so bad it needed two wipes. DH and I discuss how bad DS's nappy was by how many wipes it took so I just read it like that!

I use a little life backpack for DS (21months) - I love giving him the freedom to walk and he loves feeling grown up. The only opinions I take into account regarding bringing up DS is his (DS's), mine and DH. Anyone else's 'opinion' is just that - their opinion, nothing to do with me.

I do agree that kids should have as much freedom to explore as possible. DD is never on reins in the park (except by the boating pond), or when we go to the forest etc. Or even on the quiet streets at home because she really isn't a bolter. It's only for the city centre or train stations, airports etc, where a tiny person can quickly disappear from view. The freedom thing is hugely important, which is why I do like reins. It gives a very young toddler the chance to walk around in different environments (and often choosing where to go) while being safe.

Glad you all think Belgian guy was a nutter :-)

Charlie I bought the bat wings for my ds, the lead can be removed from the harness.

I bought them after reading a thread on here where a poster explained how her dd had been run over while her dad was distracted. It was heartbreaking to read and I know I wasn't the only person who bought reins after reading the her posts.

OP just ignore the clearly loony Belgian and carry on parenting the way you want to!

"He didn't look like the type of boy who would just bolt for it."

You can't tell from appearances though. I'm sure the parents had good reason for using the reins.

Charliemouse, Mothercare reins have a detachable long strap, so you can unclip the long rein and allow them to run around without taking the harness off. Or, you can unclip one end only to allow them a wider circle around you, which is what I tended to do when DS was bigger, and I was only using them to prevent accidents such as him falling in the river/running in the road.

Belgian guy was not just a nutter, he was an interfering git who had no business trying to impose his views on you!

I have used reins for all 4 of my DC's, from 14yo DD to 18mo DS3. And all of them apart from DS2 with Autism have better road sense than peers of the same age whose parents did not use them, as they were experiencing stopping at a road and waiting to cross at a younger age.

I'm interested to know why there is such opposition to reins. It is just because they look unattractive? (Very subjective, anyway.)

I remembered my younger brothers and sisters having reins, so it was normal for me to use them for my own DC.

They weren't a huge success for DS, though, because he discovered that he could pick his feet up and hang off them, and you would have to carry him along.

And as for being more restrained in a pram, I'll have to disagree with that one, at least for DS3. Even with the straps as tight as they can go, he can escape and literally climb out of the pram the second I turn away. With leather reins, I can keep him safe.

I don't think it was as rare to use reins 10-20 years ago as it is now, my 21yo Dbro had reins, as did my 14yo DD, and they were much easier to buy back then than they are now.

So few shops selling them now, I think demand fell at some point between my 10yo DS1 and my 18mo DS3.

The only shop I could find proper, old-fashioned leather reins with buckles rather than clips was John Lewis. Even Googling didn't throw up any other results for the UK. And the ones that look like buggy straps are useless for DS3 as he can undo the clips.

Ignore ODD belgian.

Clippasafe do a good range of reins (we have a couple of pairs). Hopefully they'll have a stockist near you.

I never get the "restraint" argument. Surely to Christ they are more restrained in a pushchair? Anyway I used them with both of mind, because they loved being out of the pushchair and walking. I think it gives them far more freedom(and saves them from a great deal of scraped knees).

We used reins - in part because I'm tall and DD is short. Holding hands all the time meant that I was bending over and she was stretching up. I'm sure it's not comfortable to walk around with your hand held above your head for long periods of time.