step in or let her learn?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

DD is 3.5. We recently moved house and where we now live there are about 10 or so kids who all play together outside. They range in age from 4 to maybe 8 or 9.

At first I was unhappy letting her go out to play as shes so young but they kept calling for her and so now she is allowed to go out aslong as she stays quite near the house.

Most of the other kids look out for her as she is the youngest, making sure she moves for cars (which are all aware of the kids...quiet cul de sac) and telling her to stay near hone.

But one of the older girls was swinging her by her arm quite violently last week. Then DD yesterday DD came back in and after some pushing said that the kids didnt like her.

When she went back out the same girl from last week was hitting her face with a tassle pom pom thing and was then repeatedly throwing a stone (the size of a tennis ball) at her.

I went out and asked the girl why she was doing this and she just turned her back and walked away.

I know my DD is only young, but do I keep stepping in, or accept that this happens and let DD learn how to stand up for herself?

well my dd wouldn't defend herself either - won't get on something in the playground if another kid is on it...but I figure she'll grow out of it in the end - and it's important (I think) to show her that I will intervene if the other child isn't behaving well - e.g. that the other kid can't get away with it. But it's hard to get it right. It might be that she will stand up for herself, but that she's not quite ready yet?

Wannabe - not sure how I'd handle this (so no help then!) but I just wanted to say that my two dch grew up in a similar situation, quiet cul-de-sac & mixed ages of dch all playing together, and that it did them the world of good. Made them comfortable with younger/older kids, to learn, play together & mix easily. Bear in mind that she's unlikley to be the youngest for ever and also that the eldest ones will go off & do other things hang around the bus shelter.

Thanks miranda- I do really think playing with kids of different ages will benefit her.

And (quite controversially it seems) that watching from a distance but DD being unaware that I am there will also be a good thing.

Thats the thing rhetorician, she is the most outgoing child when it comes to parks etc. She will strike up conversation with kids everywhere. Maybe it is just something she will eventually "get". But at the minute she doesnt at all.

I will be watching closely from now on and if that girl even looks at her wrong I will be going to the parents. Tbh Im really shocked that it even happened at all. If DD grows up and acts like that I will be mortified.

I think I'd mention this particular girl's behaviour to the parents - those are fairly extreme things. Older kids on my road just ignore dd when they don't want to have her tagging along; I don't think they would dream of hurting her, or even saying something nasty. You have a bully on your street, and perhaps this is more than your dd can handle at the moment

My DD started playing out when we moved here, when she was 6, but I have always been on the ball when it comes to any sort of bullying or nasty behaviour from the other kids. I have been round to see the other mums several times when there has been problems, and it has nipped it straight in the bud.

As your DD is only little, I would be straight round to that little girl's parents and make sure she knows that it is wrong, and that if she does it again there will be trouble.