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Original poster

Pros and cons of waiting to toilet train until 3??

38 replies

fastasleep · 28/02/2006 16:54

DS (just gone two) and I have just had a horrendous day, and we even have DH around today too Sad

I decided to start to potty train him as he gets his changemat out and happily shouts 'poo' before he does one, and tells me when he's wee-ed etc, but he absolutely HATES potty training so much, at one point he screamed so much on the potty that his nose bled.... he did one poo on and 5 poos off the potty, no wees in the potty.... he's just screamed all day really.

Then there's all the rest of the stuff - I'm expressing exclusively for four month old DD, who is also a bit of a screamer! Argh! And DS is the type of child that stops eating the second you change the routine Sad so I've spent all day either with him on the potty or dangling food in front of him or expressing or feeding or changing DD literally had no time for anything else!

Is there any good argument for waiting until kids are three-ish (or at least bribe-able and intelligent enough to understand 'no, I'm taking your nappies away forever now, you'll have to go to the loo or be wet and stinky!')?

I do so want to be a 'goodmum', I hate upsetting him... I know he's a smart kid and would probably get it, but it's really upsetting him... Oh parenting sucks sometimes.

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Milliways · 28/02/2006 16:58

My SIL was so busy with DS2 that had no time to potty train DS1. One day, DS1 comes down the stairs, nappy in hand, announcing "I'm going to the toilet!". He was about 3 I think.

Heathcliffscathy · 28/02/2006 16:59

fastasleep i'm hoping you get lots of answers to this as i'm tempted to start soon, but would really hate it if it all goes wrong. sounds like you've had such an awful day of it.....boys are meant to be ready older aren't they?

watching this thread with interest...

Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 16:59

Maybe that's the best way... just letting it happen naturally. I mean I'm a total lentil weaving hippy.... maybe I should apply my lentil weaving hippyish ways to everything in life including this!

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JonesTheSteam · 28/02/2006 17:00

I waited until my DD was over three - she was probably ready earlier, but I was pg with DS and was concerned that once he arrived she would go backwards anyway.

Then ended up waiting longer, because was so busy with him. [crap mum emoticon]

On the plus side - a week and it was all done. She cracked the weeing side within a day, and the poohing by the end of the week. And at least she could tell me what she wanted and she was, as you say 'bribe-able'.

DS (now 2.5) has told me twice since Christmas that he is about to do a poo, and moans to have his nappy changed when it gets too damp. But I odn't think he's ready, yet. Have tried to sit him on the potty once or twice before a bath but really didn't want to do it.

satine · 28/02/2006 17:01

I'm bone idle and waited until my son was about 2.6 or even older. It was much easier than it was for a friend who was determined that her son would be out of nappies at 2. She became quite demented, following her son around with the potty, saying "Do you want a wee wee? Are you sure? Do you want to sit on the pot just in case? Please?" I'm not going to push my dd into it until she's really getting tired of nappies (plus I've just bought some reusable ones, so I'm going to get my money's worth out of them....Grin)

SenoraPostrophe · 28/02/2006 17:01

there's no real reason to force it, especially if you're all stressed anyway.

don't see why you have to wait until 3 though - he may get over the screaming before then. if you wanted to, you could try putting him on the toilet instead of the potty (ds likes it much better). think of the money you'll save on nappies.

Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 17:02

NOOO! See my 'just went into the toilet to find...' thread

trust me, the toilet is worse, trust me!!

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Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 17:03

I don't want to be demented, I think I'll go bald what with the post natal hair loss, stress and general hair pulling.

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LIZS · 28/02/2006 17:03

The longer you wait the less you need to bother with a potty or lug anything extra around when you go out other than a spare set of clothes. Maybe he's resistant cos he knows it winds you up and gets attention away from the baby, even if he is n't overtly jealous. Personally I'd leave it, sounds as if he isn't really ready if he needs so much encouragement and attention, but do praise anything he chooses to do in the meantime.

pucca · 28/02/2006 17:04

This is something i am debating atm, i have dd 2.3 and i am 16 wks pg with no 2, will be moving within the next 4 weeks and just don't know what to do, i have started yesterday was a disaster...no wees on potty at all, today we have had 3 in potty and 1 on floor, but i know if i stop now i will confuse her.

I know how you are feeling though. Smile

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 28/02/2006 17:04

Waiting til three - Having to change poohey stinky nappies for longer

Before three - Having to clean poo of your carpet

Both as irritating as the other Grin

(We potty trained ds1 early but ds2 is almost 2 and im not even thinking about starting him yet)

serenity · 28/02/2006 17:04

I'd leave it for a while tbh. you sound like you've got enough on your plate as it is! I didn't train DS2 until he was 2.10, and then only because he was due to start nursery in 4 mths (and needed to be dry) and because I was pg with DD and his pooey nappies made me sick Grin

It was easy, he was old enough to understand why we were doing it, and big enough to just bypass the potty and go straight onto the toilet. I wouldn't push it at this age if it's really upsetting him, you might find you're creating more problems for yourself.

Blandmum · 28/02/2006 17:05

I left mine until they were three and ready for it. It took 2 weeks with dd and a week with ds to be clean and dry.

No worries, not melt downs excuse the pun, but a piece of piss!

Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 17:06

Did I mention we live in the middle of nowhere and I'm carless and doublebuggyless which involves having DD in a sling, pram folded up, DS on the bus and a huge bag for 40 minutes minimum each way to anywhere?

I think I just talked myself out of it!

I'm being an out and out hippy 'just let nature take it's course maaaan'

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Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 17:08

Screw yer 2.4 years old thing Cod! Screw it I say! Screw it!!!!

has breakdown, goes to bed

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mousiemousie · 28/02/2006 17:11

I waited til 2 and a half and still found it hard going. I say keep on with it, it isn't easy but you will get there, waiting til he is older won't necessarily help at all!

prettybird · 28/02/2006 17:12

Ds was over 3 beofr eh trained.

everyone told us to wait until he was ready.

We had a couple of attempted when he was two and when he was 2.5 - but he wasn't ready - so I should have listened to both my childminder and my best friend's advice.

As it was pushed him ever so slighty when we did try again (he was 3.4) - but we had it cracked within a week - and night time a few weeks afterwards.

You've got enough on your plate on the moment - chill out!

Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 17:14

....currently chilling and awaiting my pancakes and not giving a sh*t about mothers and MILs and people getting there before us :)

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lockets · 28/02/2006 17:27

This reply has been deleted

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tamum · 28/02/2006 17:36

Mine were late (3.1 and 2.8), and both were done within the space of 2 days, two/three accidents each in total. They were dry at night within a couple of months afterwards. It is easier, I reckon, but it depends how much you dislike changing nappies :)

PeachyClair · 28/02/2006 17:47

Yes, mine were three also and there were virtually no accidents, dry day and night at the same time.

Trying to get ds3 (2.5) to hang on but he seems to want to go for it Sad. he seems to have the physical ability (well I know he does he takes his nappy off with no accidents) but he has no language and doen't understand what we want him to do.

cece · 28/02/2006 18:03

I'm a great believer in just letting it happen

dd was 2.9 when she suddenly announced one morning that she wasn't going to wear nappies anymore. My reply - well you wmustn't wee in your pants. Ok she said and that was it pretty much.

will be doing the sme with ds.

The trick is to plant the idea in their head and then they think it is their idea iyswim!

or maybe I'm just lazy Wink

Original poster
fastasleep · 28/02/2006 18:41

I know DS can go without a nappy and not have accidents, and if I'm giving him a massage he'll tell me stop and say he needs a poo etc etc... but he just hated it, so he's ready, just annoying... I think he'll give in to peer pressure in his own time :) don't want to upset him...you've made me feel much better!

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Orinoco · 28/02/2006 21:36

I left dd1 as I was expecting dd2, and I didn't want the hassle (and the regression once dd2 was born!)

However, one day when she was about 2 3/4, she took herself to the toilet, took her nappy off and wee'd. I only realised what she was doing when I heard her getting annoyed - she was trying to put her nappy back on!

Leave it till summer at least - ds will be that bit older, dd might be a bit easier and at least you might be able to get things dry!

(Oh, and dd2 is now 2.8 and showing absolutely no interest in toilet training! I'm waiting for summer for her too!)

Piffle · 28/02/2006 21:45

Quicker
They can get on and off the toilet alone, and pull their own trousers down.
They night train quicker afterwards too IMHO
ds was dry day and night when he trained at 3.
DD trained herself really at 2.5 but is just now at 3.5 dry at night most nights.