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Parenting

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Original poster

Pros and cons of waiting to toilet train until 3??

38 replies

fastasleep · 28/02/2006 16:54

DS (just gone two) and I have just had a horrendous day, and we even have DH around today too

I decided to start to potty train him as he gets his changemat out and happily shouts 'poo' before he does one, and tells me when he's wee-ed etc, but he absolutely HATES potty training so much, at one point he screamed so much on the potty that his nose bled.... he did one poo on and 5 poos off the potty, no wees in the potty.... he's just screamed all day really.

Then there's all the rest of the stuff - I'm expressing exclusively for four month old DD, who is also a bit of a screamer! Argh! And DS is the type of child that stops eating the second you change the routine so I've spent all day either with him on the potty or dangling food in front of him or expressing or feeding or changing DD literally had no time for anything else!

Is there any good argument for waiting until kids are three-ish (or at least bribe-able and intelligent enough to understand 'no, I'm taking your nappies away forever now, you'll have to go to the loo or be wet and stinky!')?

I do so want to be a 'goodmum', I hate upsetting him... I know he's a smart kid and would probably get it, but it's really upsetting him... Oh parenting sucks sometimes.

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BudaBabe · 28/02/2006 21:49

I waited till nearly three with DS and it was easy. The Gina Ford book was fab!!! Ordered it. It arrived. I read it one night in bed. Next morning DS says "I'm not wearing nappies any more Mummy"!!!!

Relax - you have enough on your plate ATM. It will happen. No point in stressing yourself and him.

serenity · 01/03/2006 12:16

Totally agree with Piffle. As I said earlier DS2 was nearly 3 when we potty trained him, DS1 was 2.8 both done because I needed to do it at that time, but they were able to sort themselves out and get independent with it pretty quickly.

DD on the other hand was a lot younger (2.2) she wanted to do it, but it's going to be months before she's 'done' as in being able to undress/dress herself, wipe herself etc, even be able to give me more than 5 minutes grace. (still glad we're nappyless though!)

RachD · 01/03/2006 12:37

Ds is 2 + i mnth.
he is not ready yet.
I am waiting till late summer - naked in the garden with potty.
He will be 2 + 6 mnths then.

Yeah, don't stress yourself - you have more than enough on your plate.
Leave it till nearer 3 rather than nearer 2.
No need to rush.

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Roobie · 01/03/2006 12:44

I waited until dd was over 3, mainly motivated by the fact that I wasn't up for the whole long drawn out training rigmarole and constant cleaning of poo and wee off the carpets. I would heartily recommend waiting - she was trained within a couple of days (I basically told her that she was a big girl now and should start to use the toilet for pooing and weeing which she bought into 100%) and I think wet the bed twice during the first week but has been dry both day and night ever since.
Beats me why anyone would want to do 'train' as such (like a puppy) why not wait until the child can simply be told what to do (could be younger than 3 of course) and understand.

chipmonkey · 01/03/2006 19:39

ds1- tried to train at 2.4, nightmare that lasted a year and a half.
ds2 - left it till 3, done and dusted i 1 month!

kama · 01/03/2006 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 01/03/2006 19:52

Apparently, whenever you start, your child will be reliably trained at exactly the same time.

Orinoco · 01/03/2006 21:41

like some kind of internal clock Soupy? That's interesting.. makes you wonder..

PeachyClair · 01/03/2006 21:46

Yes, my Psych lecturer says this too: a combination of verbal understanding and the neyral connections that tell child to go to loo being mature.

Kelly1978 · 01/03/2006 21:49

if it is upsetting him then wait!! I did mine when they wanted to. dd was trained jsut before 2, and ds at about 2.5. I was lucky in that they were both interested v eary on, and I had an easy time of training them because of it. If they are willing the while process becomes so much easier. I remember a lot of accidents with ds but def no tears or tantrums.

Kelly1978 · 01/03/2006 21:51

also, I think they took about 2-3 weeks to learn it. Night training jsut happened by itself. It really is easier if you wait.

Elibean · 02/03/2006 15:52

I'd have no problem waiting until 3. DD asked to pee in potty aged 2.1, but she's just preparing - not ready to do the whole training thing.
Also think I need to be ready! If you've got your hands full (and you surely do) then I don't see the problem with waiting at ALL.

mumandlovingit · 02/03/2006 21:41

my son is now 3 and half and now toilet training.only had accidents for first two ays and now trying him in pants at night.did the same with our other child when he was the same age and he was dry day and night in 2 weeks.definitely wait until they are ready.no need to rush them as long as they're dry by day for when they start school.a lot less stress than worrying about it all when they're simply not ready or dont understand what its about. :-)

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